Verbal Communications Differences and Difficulties Sticky

Post Reply New Topic

No I am silent. It causes great distress to have to cough, hiccup or sneeze, or commit any involuntary noises, which are mercifully few.

I will search for this book, it sounds like the kind of author I could relate to.

The popular biography book by John Elder Robison is titled Look Me In the Eye. Not my usual genre, but I really liked this one! J. Robison is very successful in his professional career now and his life/evolution is worth reading. Parts are poignant, sad, then funny. But overall quite upbeat, and always real.

I think my favorite part, somewhere in the middle: John worked with the rock band KISS (yes, really!) and hence traveled extensively with KISS for performance tours. John's the audio techie, and very gifted. John's a level-headed man with 'our traits.'

So he's in a hotel room (tropical area, Florida) during tour - alone in his room wearing just his shorts. Just outside his glass door is the veranda partly hidden by brush, then a lush swimming pool hotel resort with lots of children and families cavorting about. Just outside John's door is a HUGE snake. John is savvy and logically concludes, from what he'd studied, this snake is poisonous! As in, those people outside are in DANGER! John reasons, he *could* call hotel security, verbally explaining the whole scenario, why he believes this snake is poisonous, wait for their response....etc. Instead, he must act.
Being a rock band tour he's equipped with a loaded gun, like all band members for security reasons. John shoots the big snake, with blood and rock paving debris flying. John is then staring with awe and disbelief since all these people are RUNNING, grabbing their children, and screaming havoc ensues. They didn't even know there was a snake lurking.

They (the frolicking guests) just see a nearly naked man, with long hair (he was then in a rock band), waving a handgun with shots fired! John, still oblivious to what 'they' see, yells in assurance, "It's all ok! I've saved you ALL! I slayed the Beastie, you can all go back to having fun."

'They' think this man is nuts. But in reality John was acting quite logically - poisonous snake, take care of the situation, people are then safe.

I guess his fellow band members then 'saved' John, explaining to the police force (who were quick on the scene) that John didn't mean this 'in a bad way,' it was just a...misunderstanding.

So, if the police ask you way too many interrogative questions, just say, "Woof!"

(Age1600: I know you've had a rough time with your local police - I guess John did too. You're not alone! )

Hey, yea in the post it was about the animals hehe, i have 2 cats, 2 dogs, 2 lizards, a house full of crazy animals haha. And talked to John Elder on autismning network, nice guy, told me about his book. Never read it, but recommend it to ppl though.



I can be very silent at times, but lately ive been more and more verbally stimmy haha, just random noises, no words haha, never understood why but oh well. i hatte hiccups ughh their the worst, and sneezes, coughing, they cause too much strain, so i';m with ya on that one hehe.

So the person that helps people like us with talking, would that be a speech Language pathologist?

When I was young I went to something like 3 years of speech therapy, I am not exactly sure how it helped me or if it helped at all, it never made much sense to me. The person that I went to speech therapy, would they have been a speech language pathologist?

Has anyone hear get help for being non verbal other then speech devices from a speech language doctor? I would like to be able to just use handwriting to write to people instead of getting some kind of speech device. Is there some kind of doctor that could help me with handwriting?

I'm not really sure (re: roadracer's question)...hmm. I've never been to a speech therpaist, OT, or anything of the sort. Technically, I don't have a speech disorder, I have autistic disorder. My speech, when I do speak, is fine in terms of voice and I certainly have no speech impediment. My voice is nice and I have moments where I can speak, and do. When it's about science, what I know, I am generally ok.

Conversationally...well, hate it. It just feels uncomfortable. I think, about Q posed, a psycholgoist might be of great help. Psychologists do help (usually children but not always) with learning not the speech, per se, but how to compensate for the lack. I probably become very nervous and this just makes everything worse. A speech therapist might be good about teaching skills but he/she is NOT necessarily an expert on autism! And that can be a problem. A psychologist wins on this one. Or at least should, in theory.

Handwriting? Again, I'm not sure. Maybe a speech therapist for this? OT's do this skill, I guess. But would they know in terms of autism? That would be a concern. A psychologist should know about this and the resources available.

Saffy is a speech therapist who does know about autism - she could answer. But probably all don't have her expertise either.

Just have to note: Quite apparently the facet of autism that is NV, and the forms of NV, are largely unaddressed! Autism is 'an unknown' and many neuro/psych professionals are really clueless. But the verbal part might complicate even further.

Thanks LabPet
What is OT?
I see people in this thread use alternative communication sometimes, like you use a Dana, some use sign language, ect. I don't have a clue if any of those things would be good for me, or what other choices I would have, so a psychologist would determine what would be best and help with this, like whether I should use something like a Dana or something?
People are saying that there voice sounds different. When I am able to talk people seem to have a hard time understanding me, sometimes I have to repeat myself to many times and I give up and walk away. So I guess I cant say my voice is nice an clear. Not sure why I went to speech therapy when I was young, I was under the impression it was because I didn't talk but not really sure, when I was young I would only talk to my mother when I could and wouldn't talk to anyone else, anyway I am not sure that speech therapy actually helped me any.
I find these things confusing, like what the different doctors do. So a psychologist takes care of everything related to autism? Not totally sure if I am on the spectrum yet, but if I am, the psychologist would help me with communication.
Todd

Occupational therapist, hey they have certian technology to help u learn to write better, even weighted pens. Heres a site about handwriting http://www.theraproducts.com/index.php? ... 79ee53ef6f and handwriting help http://www.theraproducts.com/index.php? ... 79ee53ef6f

i dont use a communication device such as dynavox, but im around a lot of kids who do use it, something that u gotta carry around a lot though, but heres a good site with communication devices http://www.attainmentcompany.com/xcart/home.php?cat=253 but sign ;language for me is easy because i dont need to carry anything, and easier to remember for some reason because im very visual. good luck!

Thanks Age,
I have bought from that store. I have a addiction to the chewy tubes. I have tried different grips and different things over the years, some help a little, others are crazy contraptions that leave me wondering, what was the inventor of this thinking. It seems that my problem is more then just writing sloppy. I cant remember what it is called, but I have a problem with some muscles being to tight and some to stretchy, at least I think thats how to describe it. Anyway, when my hands are relaxed they are in somewhat of a fist most of the time and I cant straighten my fingers totally unless I push on them to straighten them (it probably isn't as bad as it sounds). To make a long story short, I grip a pencil way to hard, then cant hold it right and it hurts really bad. Also can't use scissors or tie my shoes Yes, the communication devices don't look like they would be fun to carry around, thats why I want to just be able to jot down a note to someone.
Age, do you know many people that sign? I know some sign language, probably not enough, but I have never meet anyone else that signs.

It could be Dyspraxia. The actor that plays Harry Potter can't tie his shoelaces because he has mild Dyspraxia. It's a neurological disorder that has to do with poor coordination. Though poor fine and gross motor skills are common with Autism. I'm terrible. I couldn't tie my shoelaces until I was 6. I'm good at it now because I practiced during class when we had to sit on the carpet when the teacher read story books. I can't use chopsticks, it's so embarrassing asking for cutlery at Vietnamese and Japanese restaurants. In school I used to grip the pencil too tight and teachers were always telling me that I held my pencil the wrong way. Even now when I write for too long my hand hurts and my writing is messier than a doctors.


I'm the same. I'll start to say something but mid sentence I'll stall. I either get confused about words I'm using or I'll stutter. And sometimes I'll say something in a completely different order to what I thought of in my head. I have a monotone voice too. I told a joke today and my mum said that I didn't say it like a joke. Ugh, it's so frustrating. I also think I don't make sense when I talk to people.
I barely talked when I was younger. There's something called selective mutism where a person could talk normally or a lot with certain people (like parents) but be extremely quiet around others people (classmates/strangers). Yeah I had that. Overcame it when I was 15.

LabPet do not let him get you down, you are better than he is. Ten dozen of him would not be worth one LabPet. I guess that if the roles were reversed you would treat him better than the way he treated you.

He sounds like a nasty twit. I do not belive in Karma but stupid / nasty things we do on this earth can come back to trouble us.

Imagine how he would feel if he lost the ability to speak normally becuase he lost his vocal cords due to cancer in 15 years time, and the moment he wakes up from the operation he suddenly recalls how me mocked someone else for being unable to speak I suspect that he could be deeply troubled by his past words and deeds.

Thank you, Woodpecker! Humans can be cruel...sigh. But most aren't, or at least don't mean to be. I think being an Aspie/HFA definitely gives one a different perspective, maybe one with more compassion.

pensieve: I didn't know much about dyspraxia, except from Wrong Planet inhabitants.. I do have lousy handwriting, since always, but I think that's just merely due to....lousy handwriting! Weirdly, I can have great coordination for certain activites, like lab techniques, art, and with precision. And I move really well (I have a lot of nervous energy)! So I'm not clutzy, but I have difficulties with balancing myself. Stimming, when standing, serves to offset this very well. When I was little I could not catch a ball and still I am miserable at throwing, catching, and my balance when still. I do know this is related to the autism but I mostly do passably ok with this so I should be grateful. I cannot do chopsticks!

The juxtaposition is odd in that, like roadracer, a bike racer (!) and atheletic, has difficulties with the motor skill of handwriting....ironic, yes? I've been asked about 'How can you draw really well, but the handwriting is a struggle?' I don't know.

Age1600 answered about OT = Occupational Therapist (which really doesn't have much to do with an occupation, per se). But, I think for one with autism (and related) the underlying condition should be addressed which is why a good psychologist might be the best 1st choice. I mean, there's multiple causes for just 'bad handwriting' or 'not being to properly speak or express' and autism is but one. And a specialized need too. I hope you can find one that is very good.

Woodpecker and labpet, I like to tell people, everyone is just "temporarily abled", what I mean is that everyone goes threw something in there life that can be "disableing", whether it be from old age, or a injury, or what ever, temporary or permanent. I guess I just don't see myself as a "disabled person". Crashing my bike at 40mph, then I considered myself disabled, temporarily.

Labpet
Having difficulty with motor skills, odd, yes. If you look at the surface of things then I am the most unlikely person to be racing a bike. The last race I did this season, a pro race I raced against a couple racers returning from the Olympics, and was able to talk to them some. In the short time I have been racing I have meet a lot of pro racers, some the top in the world. One thing I noticed is something common among most pro athletes is that they have faced something extraordinary in there life that motivates them to make it to this level. Like Lance Armstrongs cancer recovery, then 7 Tour wins, he probably wouldn't have won any if he didn't go threw cancer.
Growing up I was never good at anything athletic, I was the last kid picked in gym class, I cant throw a ball for the life of me, my high school gym teacher always told me I was so pathetic and lazy, and I failed numerous times. My dad would make fun of me because I couldn't do things like tie my shoes, he would call me "stupid". No one believed in me, when I was a little kid and said I was going to be a pro bike racer when I grow up, my parents laughed at me.
These are some of the things that fuel me, motivate me to train all I can. Some times you question yourself, like what am I doing, like in the middle of a 80+ mile training ride. I race what they call the pro races but I am still vary far from making a pro team, the team I am on now is far from pro, but I never question myself if I will make it. Maybe this all isnt as ironic as it would seem. Maybe this is why you can draw really well, there is nothing stopping you from being a great artist. Like the artist you talked about with schizophrenia. Have you ever seen art by people, like people with cerebral palsy that cant use there hands, that paint by holding the paint brush in there mouth, there is nothing stopping these people from being artists.
Anyway, I somewhat know what my problem is with hand writing. Although I could have something like mild dyspraxia, my problems are with the muscles, I am thinking it is called hypertonia when the muscles are to tight and hypotonia when they are to strechy. It is hard for me to explain it, because I really don't remember the technical words to use to describe this, but I have had enough doctors check this out over the years that I understand it. This mainly affects my hands, arms, and feet. I am starting to get some nerve damage in my wrists that adds to it being painfully for me to hold a pencil. I also have major problems with my feet because of this and am going to have to have surgery on them sometime.
I have never tried chopsticks, but I cant use a knife and fork at the same time, so I am sure I cant use chopsticks also.
Sorry if I am rambling on, I could write a books worth sometimes

yeah, same here. Though a speech/language report from when I was 16 said that my articulation/oral motor/voice/fluency etc. was good, but then again there's all KINDS of things wrong with that report (it says that I don't require assistive tech/devices when I was using an alphasmart at the time, that I use language to express wants/needs adequately, assumes that I have few friends and was not well accepted by peers when at the time I had a number of friends including several close friends which I wrote at the time of evaluation, advises that teachers make sure I look them in the eyes during lectures, etc.)

I'd like to get a DANA, but I don't think I can afford it. The NEO alphasmart might be more in my price range.
I don't know though because people tell me I'm ok at speaking, but to me I feel like I don't make any sense and I never get my point across.
Maybe I should record myself talking to people and play it back to them.

NEO is great and the battery power lasts! I know it can be cost prohibitive but I think the communication improvement is worth this sacrifice. I *can* handwrite in leiu of speaking but a NEO does also 'signal' to another the difference is real plus just more logistic.

There is the dichotomy of being very proficient (like roadracer's athletic talent) juxtaposed with not being able to do coordinate certain specific manual tasks! I move really well and I'm active but my standing balance is rather shaky. For ex: My lab technique is smooth and rythmic - very professional. Yet my printed handwriting can be lousy, but I draw well. Also, I need to sit on the floor to put on my boots & shoes but I am at the same time very agile. Another example: I am slow at dressing myself but I do it. Just weird!

Our communication difference is apparent too - the misinterpretation is hard for me (I am sensitive). I like writing/communicating to other Autists since I don't seem to need to 'explain' or justify. I try very hard and listen to everyone but I wish others (some NTs I know) would be more compassionate, but they're almost extra-judgmental.

Age1600: I am so glad you're back!! ! I would have missed you, and I am sorry you were hurt. If any consolation, I understand the one who judged you so harshly is not the best human around. Her unfounded critique is not your fault but you handled it really well.

Rather rough last weeks.....I can be quite naive. My professor, the one who hurt, I learned is just not a good individual. But I am the last to know. When I really shine, showing my science, is when the one who has potential deceipt, will strike - he did. But in a cowardly way.

Being NV can impart others with a false sense of superiority - Autists can be vulnerable, but perhaps especially the NV. I am in a rigorous grad academic program (Chem/Neuroscience) and ALONE. I do wish there were another Autist sometimes. Or perhaps just a translater. Those few who *might* wish to take advantage have easy access. I learned the hard way.

However, this professor did lose his credibility with colleages - he deserves this at least. In written form I STOMPED on this coward. My advisor/PI, whom I very much like, told me to calm down....I apologized for my ?over-reaction? but in actuality this icky professor is clueless as to who/what I am and I have no use for his subjective opinion. Lab Pet can be formidable. So, I've made an enemy.

Neurotypical superficiality is painful. I sensed this professors fear (epinephrine has a scent and is detectable) - I noted this. WHY am I feared? I am of no threat but strong - good he now keeps his distance. Worse, I do know this icky professor hurt my advisor/PI and other mentor - reprehensible! The mute speak.