scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-1. My inner child throws a lot of inner temper tantrums

0 again

I don't have enough money to pay off my car bill anyway. My mother told me to keep the world of warcraft account of mine, for some reason. Which is wierd. Part of me is wanting to go to school, but after what field? What I like, I don't consider important though, just what I'm good at, and socialising isn't one of those.

grr what am I going to freakin do?

Feeling good today, not excessively so, but good nonetheless. Hmm...should i go into detail about all the boring crap i did around the house today? No, because nobody wants to hear it anyway. So, I'll just say that I'm glad that Xmas is over, and bummed because I'm out of flavored water. Any requests, 'cause I can babble all day long about pointless stuff?




+7.1539


P.S. I'm only feeling 'semi-attention whorish' today.

0

I'm going back to my apartment, after being with my parents for almost a week. I need to be around people, between December 26th and January 10th. Back to my rinky-dink suppers of meat and produce. I was actually starting to cook some pretty good suppers with meat, rice and veggies. I was actually happy enough to cook and eat. The demise of my Grandpa wasn't getting to me, so much. I'm going to be skimping on my suppers all January...I just know it, being that January is my most emotional month of the year. That will continue until Valentine's Day. Not much of an appetite around Valentine's day, with all the sickening commercials that they have on TV. Things pick up for me, on the 15th of February. My outlook on life becomes better, amongst other things.

0. Still pretty empty and bored. I wouldn't mind a friend right now.

-2

'sarcasum' Gee, how dare I U-turn like Thousands of other Houstonions. Despite my continued moveing, it's important to lean on the horn and b***h. Someone just can't wait, can they?

-20

A thought occured to me while I was waiting for a pitcher of water to filter up why I've had such a hellish time with roommates. I guess I should've spoken up more and tried to ask about things I was clueless about such as how they wanted certain things that I've never dealt with before in a group setting (like putting dishes away and such) to be dealt with but I was too scared to speak up.

Once a roommate gets upsets with me about one little thing or mistake, it sends me into "fright mode" where I'm too scared to speak up or even be under the same roof as them. It's upsetting to think about cause in a situation like mine you don't know if it's your fault for not knowing how to live with other people or if it's their fault to taking too much control over every little thing.

Living with other people is a horrible experience for me that I don't ever want to relive again, no matter how much control I might be able to obtain from it.

I suppose it would be a 5 cause, at the moment I'm simply trying to deal with my difficulties in being able to make friends and keeping them as well from an overall standpoint which, has not been easy though, I try not to torment myself on this account...

+3

I am finally over my staph infection.

-10

Been on the verge of a total meltdown for about a week now, with at least one full meltdown a day. No matter what I do, I can't relax.

+3

I finally ordered a book I have been wanting for a year.

4.5

A year? That's a very long time to wait for a book. Who did you order it from? Grats being over that infection. It didn't look fun.

+2 Had a good visit. I am mostly in a good mood. I woke up to a dream that ended in fear this morning. I was dreaming about being a child of some kind, with black hair. At some point I was stitching a fluffy white quilt and mumbling positive perspectives about the after life. Talking like it was a perminate visit to the candy store. I don't sew.

Anyway, I dreampt that I was sleeping on my father's old brown sofa. This extremly black striek of darkness started riseing up out of the cooshins. Shaped kind of like a swish, or comet tail. My dream suggested it was a demon of some black void of some sort. I got this nasty feeling that scared me, and I dreampt about this women scream I heard. Not a high pitches scream comming from it, per say. More like a "HELP" one comeing from somewhere else, and supposedly the dark it there had something to do with it.

(uck) Then "whap" it pounces on the right side of my neck, and I wake up to feel my muscles in my neck twitching on that side. I was sleeping on my left side, and this makes round three I wake up to that kind of odd scensation. geee.. .. . I wander if seeing swishes in my damaged retnas are causeing this? I shall remember the "I am the darkness!!" bit for my future fiction writeing, as I'm sure he'll add a little juice to my plot, if I do it write.
.........
Now, I'm not sure what the dark tail is supposed to represent. The sofa doesn't mean anything important to me. I hate that sofa. I just told my mother, and she laughed her arse off. "Haha! A demon that lives in the couch!" Then I told her about wakeing up to the muscle twitching, and she said "yes. how odd." Twas a dream. A wierd one.

Glad you had fun today. I think I will only eat squid if it's fried. Very interesting dream, though. I am usually somehow defying gravity in my dreams.

1ish. Been crying for the past half hour.

why?

as for me I am about a 5 ish, it hot today,