scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-1 need rant

I have felt crappy through the night, and most of the day, because last night let me know, yet again that my feelings really aren't considered valid in comparison to someone elses. This one girl decided to lean in close and stare at me while she slowly walked past me. To me this posture feels like a challenge, because there was plenty of space for her to pass. Over five feet in fact.

I was still mad when we got home, but not terribly. I went into the bathroom and talked to, what I Swear to God, was a quiet ranting to let off steam, and I kicked the cabinet door, just enough to leave a scruff mark. (oh well) That's it! Yes the door bounces, actualy. It can't shut all the way. I thought this was deemed my bathroom, but apparently it's not. I wasn't trying to break anything anyway. It would BE broken if I tried, seriously.

My mother screams for a moment. I go in there thinking "What the $%?"

>unsaid thought in parenthsis

Her: "Do you want to let one dirty look rule your whole life?! (ouch.............) You always have to notice EVERY tiny little thing! ("drama queen Lienda") If she gave you a look like that well so what! Get over it!" I was trying to get over, and it almost was done, and over forever, bot no..

We can't go to the store without this drama of yours! (bull s**t) I wish you were as oblivious as I am!" Me: "What do you mean 'can't even go to the store?!'" Her twice: "Never mind! I don't want to start an argument with you!" (Then why the screaming and telling me my feelings are s**t?) No, she doesn't have an example to use. If she did, I can clearly see her useing it in her defence. I first apologised for yelling (I didn't yell in there to start with), and kicking the cabinet door. "THANK YOU!" (felt like a massive, invisable karate kick to my brain, that "thank you") Years went by prior to this, and I never felt her fry me like that. I got this enough from my Dad for my voice sometimes not sounding like he wanted it.

Do they even see me at all?

I used her hammer through the night! Couldn't sleep at all. I feel like a felines scratch post. Owie.

0. Really, really, really pissed off at this website's PM system.

Is me snarling at the website ------>

-1. Feeling invisible and unknown...as usual. Carry on. Pretend I'm not here. Why bother bleeting for acknowledgement. Thats ok, steal my spot too (nobody knew I was in it anyway).

^You are not invisible

I feel a 2.

+10 I'm staying at Stepping Stones for the employment dinner, tonight. The thing that makes it even more interesting, is that my best friend isn't going to be there, because he's in Maui. I wouldn't have been able to do that 2-3 years ago, when I was going through my Flushed Away obsession, and Dean was Roddy, Barb was Rita and I was Sid.

0 tired fatiqued, didn't go to class, got some ppl angry and am still clueless as to how.

Think i'm going to hide for now on.

-2 A bit ticked off at the moment.

-over 9000

f**k YEAH MOTHER f****r!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!!s**t f**k BALLS ON A STICK!! !

sorry I am in a good mood

6. My ukulele is awesome.

-10 so depressed, missing my parents

+3

Told mum she can bring the groceries home after work, so I can dress and help her unpack them so she doesn't put up with my would be drama fist clench. I was cutting potatoes in the kitchen, and she innocently walked in doing nothing but walking in. Scared the #$% out of me. I screamed like a real DORK! I told her that I thought it was the ghost that resided in our apartment. My nerd scream was long, slow, and rediculess. Brain lag. I'll go sip my java now.

2. I'm lonely.

-7. Very sad. Who could have known a single message could ruin everything. There's nothing left now

I don't think a single message can ruin something, unless it's a mailbomb, but even then, it'd depend on the amount of explosives in it.

*sarcastic belly laugh*