Rants

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i'm just sick of this cyclical s**t.

I’ve noticed something about society lately, (well, men) and it’s the fact that a certain section of them all share the same attitude.
Men who are over thirty, middle to lower working class, fat and balding, with a boring house, a boring wife and a boring car. The only things they discuss are family, football and booze, and they frequent curry houses on Saturday nights, despite being borderline racist.
They like everyone to know their views on every subject – the type that will give an answer without knowing what the question was. They are extrovert, like the sound of their own voices, and think they have the right to judge everyone else without looking in a mirror first.
And the best thing they do is tell others how to live their lives i.e. how to end up just like them. Their very good at discouraging their kid’s dreams, and taking the piss out of everything and everyone, unless of course it’s themselves.
Argh, I don’t know. I really needed to rant tonight, after sitting next to these types of plebs for a good hour. I don’t know if this is the typical NT bloke, but if it is, I think I’d rather join a nunnery!! !

I'm a moron, I don't fit in anywhere probably not even here. Why on earth don't I talk to my boyfriend more than I do? Why don't I show my mom how much I appreciate her, why can't I find a job, why can't I control my f*****g emotions and my anger, why do I forget to brush my teeth, why do I forget to do everything I'm supposed to do, why don't I manage to live and why on earth haven't I killed myself yet. f**k. I can't sleep 'cause I'm to tense and stressed. And why am I always alone when I break down mentally. Also, why don't I have the strength to contact somebody when I feel so low. Because I'm so sure they'll find me disturbing. I know I am. Dense, odd, stupid, weird. You name it.

I hate everyone at the moment. My boss is giving me crap about stuff at work that isn't my fault, he gives me no support, refuses to have meetings\discussions but will help other people. I am now dreading the argumentative meeting that is scheduled for this week - he won't let go of the reins and let me do my job properly. (IT)

Had a family social event yesterday, I was ignored most of the time, my mum was busy talking about herself and giving attention to my brothers and their gf's. She still hasn't twigged that as of 12 months ago, I've pretty much cut them out of my life due to some issues that they caused directly. I used to talk to my dad on the phone at least once a week - I do wonder what is going through their heads.....

I went to visit my horse today for some soothing animal interaction, but the people ruined it. Someone had taken some of my stuff and left it out in the communal area. Going to lock things up now. I'm not against people borrowing my stuff, but when they don't bother putting it back where they got it from. (i.e. my paddock). Then there are the people that are nice and friendly one day, and cranky\ignore me the next........

I'm feeling quite angry, upset, resentful and I hope I don't strike out at someone (verbally), to my detriment.

Silly old me.

i absolutely hate myself. i let everyone down. im selfish and cowardly. i want to be alone

Ugh. It's all over if I don't make something of myself in the next month. 25 years is enough. Could have stopped at 20 easy.

My neurology is rubbish. My brain doesn't work properly, at all.

I don't care if you intend to get on and then off the highway at the next exit, accellerate like you mean it and drive the speed limit for that brief time! The rest of us have to merge!

I'm sick of my boyfriend's family. He claims they 'absolutely adore' me while I feel as excluded as humanly possible. It's his sister's birthday tomorrow and she's having a small party, and apparently I'm invited. Aforementioned sister didn't invite me, though, nor did her parents, although they discussed the plans for tomorrow evening in front of me for two evenings straight. If they can't even extend the courtesy to ask me whether I'd like to come, but instead ask my boyfriend to ask me, I don't feel welcome at all. We haven't been together for so long it's only natural for me to stop by, nor am I particularly friendly with his sister. I bought her a nice present because it's the social convention and I'd like her to like me a little more, but I'm seriously wondering whether it's worth all the fuss. My parents are divorced and my other relatives either live abroad or have stopped sending me birthday cards when I was eight, so perhaps I just don't get the whole business.

Also, I'm still bitter that they forgot my birthday. I was invited/summoned by the boyfriend to his other sister's, mother's and father's birthday, went out of my way to buy presents for them, and when I turned 22, nothing. Not even a 'happy birthday'. And they say that I'm bad at being 'nice'.

i hate being misunderstood. trouble is i'm either too depressed/proud to argue against it and correct people. it's so much effort trying to explain yourself, and half the time they don't believe you or listen anyway so all that energy is wasted.

its not fair how other people find it so easy to talk about emotions and express themselves. i have emotions but have no idea how to convert them into words for me or other people to understand. it's like trying to translate foreign languages without a dictionary

getting called cold when you know you're far from it is horrible. getting called a liar is worse. 'dishonest' because i get overwhelmed and confused with emotional stuff and ask for stuff to be re-explained or clarified a lot. apparently that's me being dishonest and pretending i don't know things.

and being told that karma will sort things out and i'll get what i deserve. i've always kind of got hope from the thought that karma might be trueand being good pays off, so hearing it said in that way was upsetting. i thought of how horrible things are for me right now and it was like being told i deserve it and it's all my own fault for being such an awful person.

a cold dishonest b***h who deserves everything she gets. f**k you. you're always wrong anyway.

F*** you world. But I won't deny you of this victory over me.

Hating everything I have been accused of in the past that isn't true. Its tearing my character apart and my future. I've always been a good person and original but somehow people can make the simplest connection and think otherwise. Its tearing me apart and feel i am always being tested because of this.

I want to avoid everyone in my life. They draw up the most simplest thing and think that it is true. They are following a theory to prove that they are right.

One of them is my dad, it is the most depressing thing to know that your own dad draws up these types of conclusions. I don't think I see him as a dad anymore I see him as one of them.

Yes I have these moments but I know at the end of the day that I am a better person then them because I would never treat someone like this.

Its funny how they think they can get away with this. That they think I live a life of blindness.

They accused me but in the end it was always them that were really doing this. I had no idea that I was at the time, I was never exposed to what they think I did. Now I have seen what they were talking about and find it funny. They think someone can't be creative on their own.

At the end of the day they are going to be the ones you can continue their life and do what they want because they were brought up different then me and exposed to different people.

My dad doesn't understand Asperger's at all.

People make life hell - why can't they just butt out and let me be who I am instead of insisting on conforming to their version of normal.