scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-10. I'm going to hurt myself now. I hope that tips the karma in the right direction as far as everyone thinks it should.

You do realise that that will only hurt him and solve nothing?

He doesn't feel anything for me anymore so why would it bother him?

Because he's nice, and doesn't like hurting people?

RainSong, Who_Am_I,

Thanks for all of the care, I can't thank you both enough, and a person couldn't have better friends.

blue_bean,

I loved you in that way, but the drama, it's too much; I was willing, and I did forget and forgive the misunderstanding, but the continual drama, which hurts people I love and care for, and also myself, means it has to end. The drama won't end, so that will.

I loathe bringing it here, but I was forced to, as it's not fair on anyone to discuss these things out in the open, but it now ends with this message from me.

Around +4, I'd say.

Money problems are dragging on me, and living with my mother is just a drain too. But I have a lot of great ideas for writing. If only I had more time and less "real world" distractions to focus on writing. Some of them are really good, too. I have two plays and a novel I'm currently working on and hope to complete this year. I'm also doing some research to write a couple of essays I have in mind. Last week I started a musical, which I realize will take forever, since I'm working around other writing projects and I don't have the kind of time I'll need to score the songs. Plus, I haven't a clue what to do with getting a musical published and produced, so I'm not sure whether it's just a complete fool's errand to bother with. It's just the plot's good, I love the characters and the songs I've written so far are some of the best musical pieces I've written ever. I may end up doing it simply because of my own faith in its worth.

And I came up with an awesome plot for another play today and was working out some of the key dialogues and the ending tonight. I'm very happy about it, and I didn't start this one in a hypomanic episode, so I won't wake up depressed tomorrow, thinking it's complete crap and then trashing it.

I am lonely. That's bumming me out too. But not too badly. I had an little epiphany the other day about how I can view my loneliness right now as a good thing, and draw from it inspiration for my writing. It's making it bearable, for now. But it would be nice just to have someone to talk to.

5. Just meh as usual.
Although I'm also feeling kind of entertained.

-10.

You want to talk about it?

I'm hovering around about minus 3 right now. I think I'm in a(nother) dark night type of thing. Everything is very unsatisfying, nothing can make me happy. I'm twitchy and unsettled, craving comfort and getting none. Desiring so many things that I know won't make me happy at all.

0 f*****g women's painnnsssss, are there any men I could swap places with please just for a week? Thanks.
And just feeling like poo

- with rant *Swear warning*

With some people, having a different perspective equals offense. I am far from being the only one who is tired of that. Apparently, I'm also a "mood case", even when I don't try alot lately! I'm always this little lable or that little label. If I really am reasonably upset and angry, believe me you'll know, because I right out tell you.

How many times do I need to have that "you feel this way" suggested by just about everybody, even my closest humans, when it's NOT HOW I FEEL?! I can't clench my fist, or wince without "Now now, calm down. No need for drama." (so insulting) No right feel feelings is more like it! I know I'm not the only one who gets this. If I was, I'm pretty sure I'd be alone in my 'unacceptible' symptoms.

I am very tired of this invalidating enviroment I live in! I want out oh so bad, but people won't help me, and brush me off usualy. I don't know what I am capable of doing, because people do NOT compliment me on any skill. All my life it's been mostly zero compliment and 99% "I wish she was like this other child".

At home, at a store, at church, it's like people want me to be completly someone else, or I'm a "b***h". Yes, I'm supposedly "cold" and "bitchy" for being quiet and to myself. I have been getting alot of this "Your'e like this" lately, and it's really starting to piss me off. If I became the new president, made peace between jews and muslums, and stop hunger in one day, nobody would care, so why do I HAVE to keep trying for them, "or else"? -.- My enviroment is like "The stepford Droid" way. Step a pintch out of their line, you "need to get fixed".

f*****g human cow herd. #$% herd, culture rules. $% #@$#@$% @$%@ $#%! ! I want to live alone, and far away from social controling, untrue labels and force! I am just so dam tired

Thank you Moog That was because of some problems in my family... The problem was solved And now I am +10


Oh... Wishing you feel better! Huggs!

-10 as I have an infected tooth and have been in the worst pain I've ever felt (childbirth included) for three days Will have to go to the dentist which I'm not looking forward to as anything touching even close to the back of my mouth makes me gag really bad

I'd say, right now, about 4. I am bored, but it still feels like my usual 'zombie' state.

Ouch! Hope you get better soon!
Am +10.

7
In a good mood