Rants

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Well, I just give up. Can't take this no moreWell, I just give up. Can't take this no more

From time to time, the relentlessness of the assaults on my sanity and emotional balance becomes too much, and I want to rant about it to people who might get it. If I wanted to talk about it, I'd have a conversation about it. If a freak rants in the forest and no one hears him, does he make a sound? Yes, if you believe in independent existence apart from the herd! No one got hurt in Kate Chopin's story, The Storm, and I don't need to have an Anatomy professor who makes lame dick jokes when he has to define pinocytosis. It has nothing to do with penises. Make a lame wine joke, ffs, as that at least would help us remember the definition.

Then I have to wonder why I can't let this idiocy slide. They aren't even slings and arrows! I benefit no one by wishing these people had more sophistication, and furthermore, where would they have learned it? I will do myself no good, though, by imagining myself as the "bringer of enlightenment." That would represent a greater lack of sophistication on my own part. If anyone cares, they'll notice and learn from me, but only if I remain fairly humble, but not too humble.

too long; didn't edit

Need to pick up the pace, my mind can't keep up with everything that is needed this semester.

Since when is it okay to go randomly rummaging through my stuff without asking? It's not like I'm on drugs or alcohol. I'm not doing anything to myself that will hurt me. Why the sudden rummage? Did another family member do something bad without me knowing? Since when does a story at work or school work it's way into my life if I have no relevant relationship to it? Think about it before you go rummaging in my clothes. Do I look like a failure?

... Rant over.

I can't sleep anymore and when I do I dream strange dreams that leaves me stressed, anxious and tired when I wake up. Last night I dreamed something about me being worthless, my mum said that herself and I woke up crying for f**k's sake. And now she came in yelling at me for not searching enough jobs and not fighting for it enough, I can't think clearly anymore. I hate myself so much.

I can't get the smell of peppers off my hands! I keep having to smell my hand once every 20 seconds and it's driving me crazy!

1. I miss my kids - I'll never get to see them more often.
2. Rejected - again.
3. I allowed myself to get ripped off - again.
4. I'm being tortured by jealousy over someone who doesn't give a f*ck about me.
5. No friends, no family, no acquaintences even - no one except WP and my cat.

Business is great though, which just makes me a perfect target for people who want to manipulate/exploit my vulnerabilities for cash - I was happier when I was broke.

I am an old, isolated, creepy, Aspie freak and my time for happiness has run out.

Just f*ck it all...

im so annoying. i would like to be anyone else

What the HECK are my family playing at???

If you DO NOT tell me something... you cannot then insist I'm being stupid for not using common sense!! !

They reset the entire internet, which I knew about, but what they didnt BOTHER to tell me was that they had unplugged the cable for the computer that doesn't have wireless and that they never BOTHERED to plug it back in. It was plugged in at the computer end but not at the modem end and I'm supposed to use common sense just to check to see if the cable is not plugged in... why would someone not tell me it was unplugged?

AND I'M THE STUPID ONE???

Then again, my nephew should never have been told about my diagnosis... now he just treats me like I'm ret*d!! !

Having one of those days that I am just really angry at everyone and myself and am exploding at everything.
I really just need to curl up and die, but there is sooo much to do today. Not sure how I will survive.
And I am being fat again, binge eating, and feeling guilty and I keep on smacking my head like an idiot, but OCD wont let me stop. And I wonder why people think I am insane. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I need to do something, I feel I might go insane if I don't do something soon.

I wish people wouldn't be so demanding. I wish each and every one should stick to themselves and don't bother me. I feel like screaming because my head hurts and nothing is feeling good. I wish to be alone. Get it? ALONE. Go away. But that will only have the rest of humanity asking stupid questions like why? Well I am so sick and tired of people. They talk and expect me to talk as well.

And I'm cold.

i wish life would stopp

Today my friend and I went to Discovery Cove, a part of Sea World, in Orlando, Fl. I enjoyed it. However, there was a couple of instances where it could have helped if I was issued one of those "user manuals" that NTs get at birth. The problem is that I understand NTs to some extent, they don't understand me, and I don't know how to talk to people. It feels like a hopeless situation.

Book said today does an alkane sink or float when on water? Sink or float suppose to be abstract or are those scientific words?