scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-2
got expectations up, only to crash as usual

-1

Super stressed about school as it looks like I'm going to lose my assistantship (and, hence, both my tuition and my thesis that I've already begun) for next year, for reasons that have literally zero to do with performance and are instead purely political and/or personal.

I was at like a -6 earlier but I decided f**k all that and fired an email to the clinical psych department inquiring about the process for a direct transfer out of my current department and into their Ph.D program. Been cooling off drinking a 40 and watching the NBA finals, leveling out slowly but surely.

7 Meditation helped me tonight.

0 both good and bad is happening at this moment in time. The potentials mentioned last time (I think it was last time I posted) I haven't heard again from the person so its probably fake. My brother's car is falling apart and is dangerous to drive, the engine was making weird noises and I thought it would blow up and kill us all. Of course more money down the drain. My mom is also in a lot of pain and I predict that it will require surgery and she is definitely high risk for infection and death. My brother though is getting a lot of support for his company. I hope it is as big as one person expects but they are most likely delusional. I wish and pray they are right. The smile on my face would become as big as possible covering my entire face. Gaming is cool though. E3 just got over. At least in August there are other gaming expos coming up. Technology rules!

0. The start of the holidays, which means boredom + an overcast day + a few things hitting me very hard all at once + a couple of stressful weeks + being overtired + changes in routine that shouldn't bother me so much = not the best of moods.

-3. Feeling s**t. I'll never get a chance to be happy, people make it their mission to stop me. They want me to rot in f*****g the gutter as they parade down the street waving their own happiness around. Why won't anyone believe me?

-8.

I hope people who are down will feel better tomorrow.

Probably a 3. one great thing that has happened is that the keyboard has been fixed! so people can expect far fewer spelling mistakes from me involving missing s's, u's and i's.

Nothing much else happening. It is windy outside. I had to pull up a whole lot of tall corn plants today, and carry them over to a compost pile, with a little terrier hanging off them by his teeth. he seemed to find the plants fascinating and wanted to bite them at every possible opportunity.

-9. Now I have nobody, not even a friend

I knew I was wanted dead

I'm so confused.

I'll survive.

It means a lot you saying that Melbi, thank you.

probably like a +7. I get to see my girlfriend today, and I haven't seen her in 2 days! I don't know how people do long distance relationships, but kudos to you for making it work. I could never do it lol

10.

bluebean, I think your stronger than you believe.. I'm currently a 5 at this juncture since, I keep screwing up at friendship..

Agreed, Bluebean, I think you will get through this rough patch. I went through a lot of difficult times in my mid-20s. I guess I still am going through difficult times, but the good news is after a while you develop a sort of meh-ness about problems. Well I did anyway...

Anyway I am a 3. My boyfriend just said "I have no idea where my crocs are." so I guess he is looking for his crocs. I have no idea why he still has them, as I tried to wear them once and they had holes in the soles and my socks ended up wet.

Anyway, we are going into town, as town bizarrely shuts down at midday on a Saturday... so there are still some places in the world where shopping isnt a religion.

We are going to the farm store to look at woolen undergarments.