Rants

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Coincidences are driving me up the wall, god is playing constant silly games with me. I want to stop believing completely unbelievable things.

+Ialways thought that by not becoming the kind of person my dad is that there would be no one to be like that, if it's not the guy being horrible then i figured that there would be no one to f**k things up. I never realised that by not being the controller i'd just be opening myself up to be controlled. That's not happening to me, no way. Fairness or nowt, im no ones b***h, i don't want a boss i want an equal.

There is know purpose in life.

Everything I do, I screw or mess up. The rest of the damn outside world dosen't care if I exist. Sucide is painless, MASH is a good show.

My partner thinks about me very little. Everything is more interesting than me.

He says he loves me, but I swear I could have a heart attack in my bedroom and he'd just sit around reading about trains on his computer.

Oh well, he's not obliged to be interested in me.

I make everybody mad or if not mad they don't like me or can't stand me. I can't talk without making a mess of it. I am sick of people wanting other people to fit in to their -------- ideals and standards.

To some of the Normal people I've met lately:
Don't text me to ask me to come to chat, only to ignore me after a few minutes ! !! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH !
What do you want from me ?? I don't understand you, and you don't understand me ! Stop asking me to do stuff and stop giving me compliments and stop ignoring me afterwards !

My cats have been running in and outside, jumping on and off the bed. I found a flea on my sheet and that has ruined my whole day. Sylkat

lol my last flea sat inside my underpants and made 4 bites. I win

Dear Kopetski, AAAAGH!, Sylkat

There are few feelings worse than jealousy: It's personal defeat added to grieving - a simultaneous blow to the ego and the soul...

Dear Grisha, Don't forget that anger/ rage is one third of jealousy; that is what makes it ( jealousy) a key theme in literature, opera, and bad T.V. shows...Pagliacci, Carmen, Wuthering Heights, Othello, 'Dynasty', 'Dallas'....Sylkat

Yeah, I guess there's some anger in there too - at least anger at myself for not being the person she needed me to be.

I'm just fascinated about why jealousy affects me so much more acutely than other negative emotions. I was just guessing it's because it's actually a combination of so many things...

Dear Grisha you are one of the smartest,most entertaining and insightful people here...'the person she needed me to be'?? What ever happened to 'I am not in the world to live up to your(or anyone else's) expectations '? God didn't make you FOR anyone but YOU...that goes for everyone here! Please re-read that a couple of times. How can you think otherwise? Consider yourself scolded. Sylkat

err isn't the point of this thread to rant and to let off steam?

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anyway, i wish i was someone else. just for this week. ugh.

Dear Mtn13, every word you wrote could be written by every Aspie in the world. We all feel just like that, at various times, various degrees. That's why I'm here, because the only people who understand us ARE us....Sylkat

Dear Emlion, you are right, I just don't think that anyone here should feel bad about being who we are..if relationships/ friendships/family connections fall apart because one person has Asperger's, I am angry that he or she would feel bad or sad about it..does the world judge diabetics and walk away from relationships? No, that wouldn't be right..but if someone is neurologically different, it's all right. How's that for a rant? Sylkat

People just dont understand me. I feel like im living in a box with no way out. People in my life blame and judge me for aspergers. im always the 'problem' or the 'burden' and their issues seem to be my fault due to having aspergers.
I dont see how people can live with themselves when theyre so eager to blame me for who i am.
I wish others stopped hating me, and i counted for once. Im a human being, so why am i treated worse than an animal.
Theres nothing wrong with my head, yet so many close to me point out all my mental faults which need fixing.

i dont know how to make anything positive of this life when i have no support and those in my life put me down and punish because i dont conform to their ideals