Why can't I "kill" what's left of my heart?

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So I've been getting these subliminal obscene diatribes from you. Ah ha. How dare you. You're a disgrace. Stop it!!

I think it would help me if people tried not to punish me for noble thoughts and deeds or reward me for being angry and violent.

At the same time, I have to decide how to reward and punish other people.

you cant kill it because... YOU LACK HATRED!!!1!


well onto a serious note now, i kinda have an opposing view to the collective suffering/collective happiness/collective emotional view of the world, as viewing that there is collective emotions IMO kinda just states there is no such thing as individuality.

Now for the fact of killing whats left of your heart, I think ive succeeded at that... just start viewing things from an even more socially ostracized viewpoint. Such thoughts like I must not be human thus i dont need to care about anyone else, or even going for a more darwinistic viewpoint. Or even just simply laughing at others for their misfortunes, which works, because then you will just train your mind into thinking it truly is funny, and it will give ya an endorphin boost. And if you are seriously thinking of suicide, i can say this, not caring if it offends, because ive had it said to me IRL and it snapped me out of my suicidal mode, "Either do it or dont do it, There no point in debating it, if you do yourself in your just a coward who died, and I dont believe in an afterlife, so you just wasted yourself for no f---ing reason. If you dont do it, your just a coward who gets to live another day."

Never mind the suicide, I'm supposed to die at 23 from a drug overdose. I was a waste of childbirth anyhow. But I can't laugh at others! No matter how hard I try, I catch myself and stop, then I can't get the laughs out. Also, if I can't get rid of my adolescent emotions, I might as well learn to flip them sideways, which I don't know how to do or get started on. Anyways, I hope to find a mean love partner, all the "nice guys" who are attracted to me just don't phase me, and I'll just end running away from them (I plan to avoid them in Nevada).

You are afraid of showing weakness, but for some reason you define giving love as a weakness, this is why you run from "good guys".
Everyone has the right to be loved and being treated nicely (even people like us who belives we do not deserve it.)

And don't kill you nice side, try and keep it alive, it's what's making us capable of so much more than the people who turned us into who we are. When that last glow is gone, we are no longer anything, merely grey shadows, removed from life but still here.

The only anger management trick I know is to do the opposite thing when you're angry, I go and hug my dog untill the feeling is gone. Don't break stuff and don't embrase the feeling (this is very hard, but possible). Don't justiy you actions based upon you emotions. It really helps to have a pet, they love you for who you are in the same way we used to be (when we were untuched by human contact).

Allways remeber that our kindness are ours from birth and that the rest is what bad people are trying to turn us into, don't let them win!

That dosen't mean I'm going to give the nice guys a chance. They still don't interest me and I think they're weird for being interested in me.

perhaps the middleground is what is meant for you, the balance between the nice-guy and the jerkass, which is the aptly-named Jerkass with a heart of gold

It's strage thing how we define weakness and what we think shows it, being "strong" and closed up is the second best way of coming up as insecure, next to crawling in the shadows. Yes, I agree, the nice-thing is weird and it doesn't follow the rule of how we are supposed to get treated but you have to learn to accept that some things breaks the personal laws of physics. And that that's a good thing. Besides, as you said, deep down you're a nice person, try and nuture that instead of the other, and this is what nice guys are best at helping you doing.

Remember that there's allways someone who loves you for who you truely are and wouldn't like you any other way. You might have met this person or you might not, but he/she exists.

Don't find the person you deserve, find one who you don't deserve. And from whos point of view don't deserve you.

You allso have the right to happiness, claim your right.

Too bad I'm a loser.

You're NOT a loser, Fickle_Pickle! And as for you, Silvervarg, what a bundle of contradictions YOU are! First you're "slapping" BrownBear for being soft, then telling Fickle_Pickle to nurture her niceness. Very puzzling......

What is it with NTs? Can't you read text? I didn't "slap" him for being soft, I "slaped" him becouse he had closed his mind, something you should never do, and there are no exuse for doing it.

Fickle_Pickle has not, but she seems close.

And it was the other way around, first I talked to Fickle_Pickle, then BrownBear. ^^

Hi, Silvervarg. The chronological order in which you replied to Fickle_Pickle and BrownBear was irrelevant, but the attitudes conveyed in your responses mattered. You offered support to Fickle_Pickle because she was distressed, and that was a kind and appropriate thing to do. That's what The Haven is here for, after all.

However, your reponse to BrownBear, who also posted in The Haven, was NOT kind. He mentioned that he was new to Wrong Planet and had been told by his psychiatrist to visit the site. He was distressed about having AS, had been bullied a lot in the past, was feeling excluded by others and was unable to accept himself- he saw himself as "defective" and "broken". He was also feeling uncomfortable and uncertain about posting on WP and I was trying to encourage him to see it as a source of support and information.

For you to then post a message saying things to him like "Get a grip, man!", "Naw... poor you... all so lonely" and "Yes yes, buhu" and telling him that he's a "hawk" who's "meant to fly alone" (when the guy is desperate to have a wife and children) was very insensitive, I think. I just hope you haven't driven him away altogether, because I think he needs a lot of support from others with AS to help him learn to accept himself.

As for you criticising me for being NT, well, I can take it. (And I can read text rather well, actually, both at the literal and figurative level- and I can also spell...... ) Jenny

Yes, she posted here to get help, not to be able to say to people that she posted here.


Yes, and as the new one, is it smart to call 30 000 people that acctually understand what you are going through "defected" and delusioning?


Yes poor guy, to have a job, a family member to talk to, a psychologist that don't view him as sick and insists on druging him into a coma and so on. I can really feel his pain...

Have you noticed that a lot of people here gets very poorly treated by their psychologists? He has one that most of us would only dream of having, one that tries to make him feel good about himself the way he is, and he's going to change! Merely 'cause she doesn't tell him what he want to hear.

He's not desperate for wife and kids because (happy?) he feels lonley and wants someone to share his life, he wants it because it's normal. Did you miss this read thread through out his post?
And why not see it from the other side? This is the Haven, is it such a good idea to have that kind of people running around saying that the ones that badly needs and wants help should stick a screwdriver in their heads and "cure" themselves because they are sick people?

You think he would listen to any of us if we didn't tell him what he wanted to hear? Unlikley at best since he had already made up his mind.
But, if something's in the way where you intend to build, you tear it down.


Again, not reading. It's not critisism, it's frustration in general, you (NTs in general) seem to read half of the text and then make up the following on your own, then replying to what your own idea. As you have demonstrated here twise.
And keep your little status-games to yourself.

Hi again, Silvervarg. I don't play "status-games" in this thread or elsewhere. I did tease you slightly about your spelling, though, for which I apologise. I note that you live in Sweden, and therefore English is probably not your first language, despite your fluent writing. I do in fact spell well, but that's to be expected, as I'm an English teacher.

Negative comments are still "criticism", regardless of their motivation- you may well feel frustrated, but that doesn't really justify making generalisations about NTs. We are not all the same, just as people with AS are not all the same. One of the things I admire about WP and about most of the people who post here is the tolerance shown for difference. I've been made to feel very welcome here despite not having an ASD and have been able to learn a lot as a result. It's because I value WP so highly that I strongly encouraged BrownBear to seek support here, despite his reluctance.

I disagree that my interpretation of BrownBear's posts differed from yours because I lack the ability to read text. From what you've written in your latest post, I gather that you interpreted his comments as an attack on people with AS in general, rather than, as I did, an expression of his own lack of self-acceptance. Because I do not have AS, I didn't take his comments personally, whereas I think you may have. Perhaps I'm making assumptions, but it sounds as though you may not have a job, supportive psychologist or caring family member. If that's the case, then I am really sorry, Silvervarg. I can see why you might therefore feel annoyed with someone who HAS those things but seems dismissive of them.

Anyway, I don't think there's much point in me commenting on this issue any further, although of course I'll read any response that you wish to make. Best wishes, Jenny

I take zoloft, and I used to take pot, I can give you the inside scoop. The zoloft gives me a more upbeat energy vibe (I'm a downer myself) and the pot helped when I had too much energy for my own good, it mellowed me out and I was able to focus on learning better than I've ever done before. The downside to this was that I thought I could do pot all day and be a supercomputer, the lack of sleep made me delusional and even though I knew what I was talking about, I was talking in parables and that'll get you in touble every time.

In the future, I'm going to use pot towards the evening and find a better way to manage it. I have a cigarette habit that I can't shake yet. If you can get a good energy vibe from doing pot, my advice is to find something to focus it on and see where you take yourself. You can do the gym/study thing like me, but there are all kins of options.

I'm going to try to get my pot card (I'll call ptsd and back pain), I have every intention of using it in the future and I don't feel that any one has the right to control this behavior, arguing is my only defense.

You might decide you like to argue for yourself too (I get the feeling you have to argue on your behalf a lot).