treated like crap in chat

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I, too, stick to the forums. It gives me the chance to assess whom my comuniques are with, whereas in the Chatroom the are such big age and interest disparities that it can end up being a giant time-suck. At least in the forums we can be a little more choosy and hopefully, more deliberate in the care applied to our subject matter. This Right Planet for us, will hopefully continue to be a sanctuary from the slings and arrows all too often hurled at those who are networking to improve their lives through informational exchange and mutual support.

I don't mind at all enjoying the many topics of varied interest, but the central purpose of WP, IMO, is to provide a haven of shared experience, support and education, going along with what I hope to be commeraderie.

Welcome Back. I'm sorry to hear about your Chat Room experience. I've never been in the Chat Room, before so I don't really know what goes on, in there. I've heard lots of Horror Stories about Chat Rooms. I just stick to the Forums. What am I going to talk about in a Chat Room? Probably the same stuff that I talk about in the Forums. I've been given what's appeared to be Personal Attacks in the Forums. I took a couple of days off, both times, and I always return, because I enjoy it, here. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

Shelby

BTW, I go here: http://www.anxietypanicsupport.com/chatroom.php if I want a chat room to go to for emotional badness that's troll-free. Still not a guarantee but better.

I never use chat rooms. Its my opinion that they are all more trouble than they're worth.
So in concurrence with everyone else, my advice would be, just use the forums.

Tom, I can relate. I feel like I'm being attacked on a thread on Member's Only called You may Applaude Now. I think if I understand the guy correctly, he was trying to belittle me because he read my profile and saw that I've never been diagnosed by a professional, so in his view, I was one of those dispicable "NTs"! This was extremely offensive to me because he was doing the same thing that he accused me of doing: belittling someone else's pain! Actually my post was an exaggeration, not intended to blow off someone's problem. He didn't get it and just got worse with every response. This makes me think that I'm not really going to be well accepted anywhere!! ! I don't have much advice for you except to realize that there are some very caustic individuals here and not all people with AS are nice nor very tolerant. People are people, wherever you go. (The ironic thing is, this same guy posted his sypathies to you!)

Bland - While I cannot defend your posts in the You may applaud now thread, I feel I must remind you that you are new here and have not yet learned that not everybody has the same opinions about things. If you don't want to be attacked, sometimes you have to duck or get out of the way. And being NT you must be especially careful - this is a forum for people with AS and some may not take too kindly to an NT getting involved in an issue that is specifically for aspies.

Back on topic....

Tom,

I'm glad you decided to stick around in the forums. You were missed.

BeeBee

Aylissa-Why is it that everyone here thinks that if you haven't been officially Dxed that you can't have AS? If you knew my history, much of which I've posted, you may think differently. I agree that I reacted hostile to the hostility that I recieved, and it's because I hate it when people are assuming and think that they're in a special club and you are an ignoramous on the outside. Isn't this exactly what so many people with PDDs are upset about? Being treated like you don't belong and you don't matter? The first two posts I put up, particularly the first,were exaggerations; smart alecky. The other person became upset and started throwing darts, albeit in a smug, controlled manner. The message I'm getting is if you insult people in a caustic, but controlled, matter-of-fact manner, it's okay; but if you display any emotion or passion, you're out of line. Am I wrong? Also, what was it about my first post that elicited such a nasty response, anyhow? Is it really reasonable to invest all of your frienships and security on one internet web site so as to have your world torn apart when you're banned? Is that healthy for the individual? (That was my point)

the mods are discussing various issues about that thread, bland - just to let you know that we're not ignoring your comments.

and there are plenty of us on here without an official diagnosis (and faint chance of getting one). there shouldn't be any reason why that should make any difference.

Vivi
(as Admin)

I think what got to people about that post is that just by reading the words, it's almost impossible to tell whether this is sarcasm, friendly joking, or a genuine attack. Sure, it's not reasonable to invest all your emotion in one website... but by that same reasoning it also doesn't make sense to invest all your emotion in one person. Yet there are a ton of people who do it, and a huge part of culture is dedicated to idealizing and supporting that kind of love. The point I'm getting at is that everyone has something they cling to... and talking like a smart-aleck is inevitably going to step on someone's toes.

I hadn't realized that you suspected you were an aspie... I admit I don't know every member well enough to construct a real picture of their personality from their posts, so by picking "family member with AS" it's easy to assume that you were NT. I agree completely with Vetivert though - whether you're NT or AS shouldn't make a difference. But we really ought to have an option in the diagnosis question in people's profiles that lets them choose more than one, just to avoid confusion at times like this.

This is me speaking as member, not as mod.

If you will allow me to explain why I assumed you were NT:
If a person's profile says "Family member with Asperger's", I'm going to assume that person is NT. Otherwise, wouldn't they put "Unsure if have it or not" or "Have Asperger's - undiagnosed"?

The thread that you stepped into is one example of the thing that is hard for me to deal with on this site - people NOT being supportive and flaming and getting others riled up and taking sides and otherwise antisocial behavior. I feel sad that you stepped into it unknowingly and got hurt. I have learned (also the hard way) that there are threads and people to avoid. Good luck.

i do know that there have been problems with the diagnosis bit of the profile - mine kept changing, and i know the same thing happened to others.

perhaps it might be wiser not to take that particular piece of information as gospel.

Vivi
(as Admin)

Thank you all for the responses. I came here to learn and make friends not enemies. I read through the entire thread of You May Applaud and I noticed a lot of pot shot remarks and bantering. I thought it was pretty easy to infer that I was using exaggeration when I posted things such as "I'm new here, Assimilation may not be complete, Our minds have not yet become One, etc." Maybe I'm overreacting but I thought that the guy was pretty cold. Who knows, maybe this will be a good lesson in "social etiquette"; at least for me, since the others seem to be able to sass and get away with it.

I'm sorry, Tom, for ranting/sympathizing on your thread. I've been pretty hot about this. I don't like it when someone uses a false sense of superiority. I believe that is a big part of what's wrong in this world and why people with differences aren't accepted and valued in the first place. I guess his thinly disguised malice towards me reminded me of that and affected me on the grounds of principle. Nevertheless, I still would appreciate constructive criticism or objective views.

Hey Tom and Bland:

Glad you're back (T) and hope you stick around (T & B).

Haven't been to the Chat Room but based on the responses here I gather it's a lot like a typical chat room. I've been sticking with Forums because of all the different discussion threads and I need time to proofread my responses for grammar, spelling and factual accuracy.

As I've mentioned before, I have been diagnosed with ADD but not with AS. I do satisfy several of the diagnostic criteria for the latter, especially the problem with eye contact and occasional obsessions with a single subject to the exclusion of all other input (verbal and non-verbal). I suspect I'm low on mirror neurons. When I was in my 20s, I got turned down for a job because, as the interviewer said, "You never made eye contact with me."

I think that a lot of misconceptions can be cleared up with the proper use of emoticons. I know some people think they're silly or annoying, but I've had several on-line misunderstandings which the use of emoticons might/would have prevented.

I think all of us "neurologically diverse" people should stick together, whatever they have or havent been d-x'ed with.

You poor thing