Surging, out of control, emotion

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sunshower
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19 Jul 2009, 4:15 am

zen_mistress wrote:

I think that wiki article is not accurate. Alexithymics can have good imagination and creativity, and yes they can have the most vivid of dreams

.
They just have difficulty matching up a word to an emotion.
My theory is that it is a form of non-verbalness.

I have areas in my life where I am non-verbal. I dont have difficulty naming my emotions, but when I talk I always say way too much because my thoughts are really in pictures and words are a poor substitute for them.

In fact I am annoyed at the article now.. I almost feel like correcting it...

That's true actually, when I feel this "emotion" it's often linked to pictures in my head, but I can't describe it in words.

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Tinki
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19 Jul 2009, 5:40 am

For me crying my heart out helps.

CelticGoddess
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19 Jul 2009, 6:56 am

Tinki wrote:

For me crying my heart out helps.

Have you ever been consumed with an emotion though that prevents you from crying? I can cry my heart out most times as a release, but there's this one kind of feeling that seems to block it like it does everything else.

Today seems to be better for me today. I had some release in my dreams last night. It was interesting because I didn't match what was going on in my dreams with my better state of feeling until just now. :chin:

just-me
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19 Jul 2009, 7:42 am

sunshower I'm so sorry your having a hard time right now.
your one of the members who has been there for me from the very start.

I have some guesses as to what is causing this but I need to ask you some questions to find out if I'm correct.

Did this start when your life slowed down a bit and you had more time to think?
If this is the case then it is probably something traumatic you've repressed.
If this is the case then I have some suggestions.

Your mind is trying to resolve the trauma by experiencing the emotions of what happened.
It would help if you let yourself experience these emotions in a safe environment with a friend or someone you know and trust there with you. Someone who will comfort you and make you feel safe.

You don't have to understand the emotions to resolve the trauma. you just need to let yourself feel them.

If you can feel them in a safe comforting place then the next time you get triggered your mind will remember feeling safe instead of what your feeling now.

this in essence will heal your trauma.

I don't know if this is actually what is happening its just an educated guess based on what your describing.

I hope you feel better. if there is anything i can do let me know.

Tinki
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19 Jul 2009, 7:53 am

CelticGoddess wrote:

I'm not sure. It can hurt really bad, and I get afraid. Intense anxiety. But then after a while I start crying.

b9
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19 Jul 2009, 8:01 am

Maggiedoll wrote:

b9 wrote:

you are lucky to have an abundance of energy in an area where i have none.

Thank you, thank you very much for totally invalidating another person's misery.

i am sorry i did that. i did not mean to. i failed to understand at the time that the OP was sad even though i read it.

i was not aware that i invalidated her misery. i often do not check which forum i am in because i use "posts since last visit" option, and it lists all the posts no matter which forum they are in.
i now know this is the "haven" because i just checked, and i try to avoid the "haven" because i am not good at giving consolation.

Maggiedoll wrote:

I can see very clearly that you do, in fact, have no emotion.

yes i have a poverty of emotion.

i am sorry again, and i wish for the OP to feel better, but i know it is none of my business and this is the last i shall say in this thread.

i did not mean to belittle anyone.

sunshower
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19 Jul 2009, 8:34 am

b9 wrote:

Maggiedoll wrote:

b9 wrote:

you are lucky to have an abundance of energy in an area where i have none.

Thank you, thank you very much for totally invalidating another person's misery.

Maggiedoll wrote:

I can see very clearly that you do, in fact, have no emotion.

It's alright b9, and Maggiedoll, please don't upset yourselves on account of me. I am not hurt by your comments b9, I agree that I am lucky to feel emotion even though sometimes it can be overwhelming and painful.

b9 I understand, and don't worry that you've hurt my feelings - it takes a lot to get to me, and more specifically it takes strong malicious intent to even come close - anyway, I do understand, and I hope you read this.

I am awake tonight, and I have just been eating and eating to try and relieve the tenseness in my stomach, and I can't sleep; I think it's all correlated.

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b9
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19 Jul 2009, 8:52 am

sunshower wrote:

b9 I understand, and don't worry that you've hurt my feelings - it takes a lot to get to me, and more specifically it takes strong malicious intent to even come close - anyway, I do understand, and I hope you read this.

yes i read it and it is good. thanks for being understanding.

hitokage
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19 Jul 2009, 9:07 am

zen_mistress wrote:

In fact I am annoyed at the article now.. I almost feel like correcting it...

If you do change it, I would suggest that you give a citation, otherwise someone else will probably revert it. You could just mark that bit with a citation required tag.

exhausted
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19 Jul 2009, 9:11 am

ps: this may be a too-personal question (thus not necessarily looking for a response), but do you have PTSD? (night terrors, past trauma, etc.)

i have it, and often am triggered by things in the environment--sometimes i'm not even sure what the trigger is in the moment. finding what it is can sometimes be like putting the pieces of a puzzle together. i get suddenly overwhelmed---often want to flee or get very angry.

i think it's a complicated combination at times. PTSD and AS (and/or NLD or ASD, etc.) traits. often, because of the AS traits, it's difficult to express and identify what's going on. i had a therapist for a year who was pretty good with the PTSD. (i've been unaware of AS, etc. until recently. but AS/NLD is putting a lot of my "wiring" quirks into perspective. once i have medical insurance, will seek dx and help.)

i thought i would put that out there. there is help available. i know it's not easy, none of it. glad you're able to reach out with the posts.

Maggiedoll
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19 Jul 2009, 9:14 am

sunshower wrote:

*sigh* I'D certainly rather feel nothing that get overwhelmed all the time!

sunshower
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19 Jul 2009, 9:27 pm

exhausted wrote:

I don't know if I do. I mean, enough highly stressful events have happened to me in my life that it is possible. I do sometimes get stress nightmares, and they are often linked to this emotion and feelings, like I've had stress nightmares the last 4 or 5 nights in a row. But the content of the nightmares themselves is rarely directly related to past events.

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sunshower
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19 Jul 2009, 9:30 pm

Tinki wrote:

For me crying my heart out helps.

I can't cry when it happens.

When it gets this bad, I can't do anything, can't even express/release what's happening through poetry or by listening to music.

I cry when I have meltdowns, though.

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MDD123
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19 Jul 2009, 9:45 pm

I think Exhausted is right, PTSD is very likely. A strong feeling of helplessness can accompany this disorder, yours seems to be overpowering. PTSD isn't something that only assault victims and veterans feel. Hearing or experiencing the right cue can trigger those feelings of helplessness. You might not feel that it's that bad, after seeing the movie "Rain Man", I didn't think my AS was that bad either, I still have it though.

daydreamer84
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19 Jul 2009, 11:18 pm

I can relate to this. I sometimes feel like I am feeling too many emotions at once, and its so over-whelming that I don't know what I'm feeling or how to respond. Its like being in a very very loud crowded place, with a lot going on, where you can't hone in on one sight or sound long enough to engage with it. Its strong and intense and confusing...it usually leads to meltdowns for me.

I wish I could give you some advice, but I'm facing a similar hard time right now. I hope things improve.

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