I want my sister to rot in hell

Post Reply New Topic

All excellent comments here, you guys have made me feel a world better.

A clarification: I don't hate my sister and wouldn't risk even a tiny fraction of my own wellbeing to diminish hers. I only wish her some tragedy that can't be fixed by charming and using innocent people - to keep her busy and weaken her so she'll torment dad and I less.

Bozewani and Alba, you're very right. You describe things exactly as they are. The first sub-system that created this monster was our parents themselves, then the rest of the world. Our parents paid dearly, and I've tried for them to pay as little as possible, out of compassion in their old age and sickness. But they're the first responsible, yes.

Hope you won't be offended for me to say it is surprising to find you the OP But, then, those who feel the positive so deeply also feel the negative the same degree, it is a balance.

I understand what you mean. I try to learn and solve my problems, in that sense I'm positive.

Greentea, I understand how you feel, I have a brother who's the same way. He's 16 and he's always been the popular one in the family and the one who "gets what he wants no matter what". Everyone including my Mom thinks he's so wonderful because he's an AB Student and he used to play sports well and has a talent for playing the guitar, and because of this he seems to have this mentality that he's too good for us, and he only acts friendly to the people in his family that give him what he wants, like his cousin who bought him a new truck when he was 15 (and btw, I was the one who got a learner's permit and was studying to drive, he wasn't even old enough to get a permit....). If nobody can give him what he wants he just completely dumps them. Take my Mom for example, they used to be best friends, but after he got in trouble for getting drunk and driving he acts horrible to her. Every time he comes over to visit he goes off to visit friends on the first day and doesn't come back until it's time for him to leave, and he does it just to get his stuff.

My brother is also very cruel to my little brother who suffers from cerebral palsy. He'll often hit him, talk bad to him (calling him "ret*d"), and blame him for everything bad that happens. My whole family is pretty hard on him, but my brother is by far the cruelest to him, and no one really cares.

Having people that are narcissistic and remorseless like that in your family can be very tough to deal with, believe me. I've found the best way to deal with it is to completely ignore them and shut them out. I'm not saying stop loving them, I mean I still kind of love my brother, but I've learned that he can't hurt me if I just completely stop caring about his selfishness.

GreenPele,

That's very similar to my sister indeed. It does me a lot of good to be understood by someone with a similar experience. She was 5 years old when she'd already spend very long vacations away from our family (HER choice) at my mother's sister's house, where they had a better socioeconomic situation. She was that young when she already felt contempt for our family and compared it unfavorably to that other family. A few years ago, in her forties, when my parents became old and sick and less well-to-do than her, she cut contact with us altogether and became a central member of that other family, obviously fulfilling a childhood dream. That family is horrendously criminal, they've done things I can't tell on a public forum because people wouldn't sleep at night. Even my therapist asked me not to talk about what they've done because she can't sleep at night after that. Nowadays, my sister and that family have my father and I so devalued in the eyes of the rest of the family on both sides, that we're totally alone in the world. At first they did it only to me, then they did it to my father so he came looking for me. I won't be surprised if others in the family come looking for refuge with me in the future too. I'm hoping for it, actually, so I can give back to them the horror they dished dad and me by siding with these monsters. I'd only ever give the other cheek with my poor old and sick parents. No one else ever. My brother tried for a little refuge from her with me some time ago, and I humiliated him so much he won't have the nerve to ever try it again. They can all die in the streets as far as I'm concerned - they're not so stupid not to see that they're siding with a monster that will cut their throats too at the right time for her.

I'm sorry to hear that, but yeah I know what that's like too. My brother seems to like his friends more then he does his own family, yet like I was saying about "remorseless", I'll tell you a story. He once had a friend years ago who was a pretty nice boy, and this kid one day had a horrible thing happen to him. His Mom died in a car crash while she was driving under the influence and ever since then he became a mess. He gained a lot of weight and started becoming severely depressed and failing at school. Now you would think a friend, even if it wasn't a "best friend", would be sympathetic and try to comfort someone like that right? Well not my brother, not very long after that my brother just completely stopped hanging out with the boy and stopped inviting him over.

That's what I mean about how selfish and cold my brother is. He only wants friends and family that can give to him, but if they ever need him he doesn't want to be around them anymore

It's exactly the same with my sister. She'll very soon find a seeming "flaw" with the newly-suffering friend or family member, as an excuse to dump them quick. She wants only success-stories and aesthetic people around her. Those who inherited or made enough money to be able to hide all the misery of their lives behind the money and social success, and project a beautiful facade to the world. And yes, my sister always put her friends before her family. Not because we're family, but because she's attracted to that whose dirt she doesn't see. She once told me she's not interested in intimate friends, she only wants friends who put up a looking good facade to her and she wants to do the same to them. My cousin, from the horrendous criminal family, told me the same thing a few years ago. They all like to surround themselves with monsters with beautiful faces. They do horrible things and then meet up at some lavish resort in the Caribbean to celebrate the money they got from it. If this has any difference from how the mafia operates, please point it out to me, because I don't see it.

You're very young, and you can still avoid his negative impact on your life. Just make sure you don't sign anything for him (my sister made me sign things and tried to make me sign others without telling me what they were), don't depend on him or have any joint anything with him ever, and don't let him know much about your life, and you'll be safe.

Don't worry, like I said I just completely shut him out of my life. I act callosed when he has a problem and completely ignore him when he comes over. Now we hardly speak at all, which is great.

No, her charm lies not in drama but the opposite. She can charm absolutely anyone in the world. Even those who've been seriously forewarned about her fall prey to her charm and start defending her, totally brainwashed.

The way she charms you is she makes you believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that if you do as she says you'll know no sorrow in your life any more. She doesn't hypnotize you, though. She does prove to you with practical actions that your life magically starts improving the moment you start following her.

Then she subtly starts asking for proof of loyalty. Small things at first, such as that you side with her against Greentea, which you wanted to do anyway because that Greentea is weird anyway. Then you have to cut contact with other people that you hate less than you hate Greentea. Then you have to start cutting contact with people you actually like and care about. When you finally open your eyes, she's cut you from anyone except herself and, having no one to turn to for help against her, you're her slave forever. Without you noticing almost, she takes your house, your job, your business, the love of those who used to love you, your self-confidence. She's not able to do this alone, though. Her husband, who is just like her, is her accomplice. They achieve this stuff together.

The way your life starts improving immensely just a few minutes after you start following her is that she has so many good connections that she ALWAYS has someone she can call IMMEDIATELY to solve a problem you've had for years that hardly lets you live and sleep at night. Your problem ends in a few minutes, you feel that she's god and a miracle-maker, and she wins your blind loyalty forever. She does all this in a very non-dramatic way, though, very practical and with lots of "I so want to help you, it's no effort for me, just let me help you, you'll see how good you'll feel in no time" and all that. Who can resist the charm of someone who relieves their pain of years in minutes? We all sell our soul to the devil if the devil appears before us in her miracle-maker shape. I fell, and I'm sure everyone else reading this thread would fall too. People who were warning ME against her, later fell for her too and started fighting me to protect her interests ! !!

The SYSTEM is generally founded upon human procilivities, tendencies to seek out pleasure and avoid pain. Therefore, human conditioning is done through using pleasure as reward and pain as punishment.
_______

Conditioning with pleasure and pain

The majority of us on the autism spectrum have mostly been subjected to a variety of social punishments often resulting in excruciating pain, while simultaneously we've been denied social rewards that result in pleasure and popularity. That is because we haven't learned how, may not be capable of learning how, or don't want to--comply. It's really very simple. Simple and brutal. The master manipulators, charmers, narcissists, and those most skilled in duplicity--are given the best prizes in this test. The test is a very deadly game. The wisest and most compassionate among us--have emphasized what is at stake when we become players. The advice and admonitions of those like Buddha, Jesus and Rumi...should never be forgotten.

Religion and politics....User's Guide to the System?

It is considered rude, or even stupid, to discuss religion and politics socially, because they are highly controversial subjects. However, only religion and politics embrace the nitty gritty of our dilema. Religion is about spiritual truth, which has been distorted to serve political agendas. And politics is about power. Power is always the bottom line. And those who hold the power, decide how the rewards and punishments will be administered. They decide who will enjoy personal power socially. Whenever we are tempted to not be true to ourselves, but instead to play a prominent role in this deadly game---it pays to remember what is at stake spiritually. In reality, personal power derives from one's character, not from social games.

Ponder the words (of Jesus, I believe)--Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Indeed, how can we fend off the serpents unless we become at least as wise as they are, without sinking to their level....

Wow, she sounds a bit sociopathic too, the way she manipulates all those people to her advantage and doesn't really care about the people themselves, just what they can do for her.