I am thinking of killing myself

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chin up!

forget expectations!
life sucks!

just remember there are no more lives, the whole rebirth-deal seems WAY too convenient to be anything but just another wishfull idea of human religions.

so knowing that, why would you kill yourself now, if you can sit through, what a mere decade of boredom for then to feel much better about yourself? just stop chasing big dreams, settle for moderacy and you wont get so dissapointed at difficult times, and appreciate life more.

god has always been fickle, few things are predictable, in life s**t frankly just happens.
misery is a reaction, reactions are controllable, pull up them britches
we all go through the same thing more or less
it's a combination of the human condition w/ realistically random life experience

i'm not going to lie. i've been at those feelings before more than once, gotten past it.
i'm very opinionated about some things and this is one of them.
i think suicide is the ultimate stupidity.
and i completely disdain any suggestion of someone wanting to do so .
what have i left if not my will to go on?
what satisfaction if not that i have not yet fallen prey to such fatal personal weakness?
i refuse to let anything drive me to that.
i will live out of spite, if not out of consideration for those i love.
frankly i am not so selfish that i could do that to them.

if not for yourself,
and not for others,
then perhaps for the fact that if you beleive in an afterlife then you'd be condemned to worse.
if not then simply condemned to nonexistence
and frankly i'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

and besides all that, life holds an amazing capacity for change. but if you wish your life to change for the better then show it. let's see some backbreaking honest effort. change doesn't happen on it's own. and some requires breaking free of your own fear and the ability to make yourself over. you are in that depressed mood because you are stuck in a rigid pattern of thought that allows it and will spiral all the way down to suicide carrying you with it if you let yourself be so taken along. you can break free of it however, but only if you choose.

sometimes the most helpful of such life revelations come far too late.
i can only hope i can help speed this one to you in time.

cheer up dude. the end is far from here.
already the reaper frowns in cheated dissatisfaction.
a lighter side can always be found if you look for it.
but not if you go in already deciding nothing will be found.
in that way people defeat themselves out of turn.

Are you still here? I hope so. I'll check later. Do you have to stay with your doctor? I know you probably thought of switching, just asking to be sure.

Life will be ok. Some say depression will always be here but it won't. It isn't easy but it is possible to heal but not alone. Doctor's psychologists, psychiatrists, can help with the medicine and therapy part. But we are here to listen also. To you and anyone.