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Apple_in_my_Eye
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07 Nov 2009, 11:17 pm

LadyMacbeth wrote:
Fathers have rights. There are courts. There's also his (ex)girlfriend involved in this.. who as it says has told her mother the truth, and it's her say, not her mother's.


The situation sounds more complicated than that. The mother sounds to have gotten legal guardianship over her daughter, which I think strips the daughter of adult legal rights. I'm not sure the daughter (or the father of the baby) has any legal power to override the guardian's wishes, even regarding the fate of the baby. Also, going to court is expensive, and you don't get free public legal representation for a situation like he's in.



LadyMacbeth
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07 Nov 2009, 11:19 pm

EnglishInvader wrote:
LadyMacbeth wrote:
RainSong wrote:
LadyMacbeth wrote:
Maggiedoll wrote:
Fathers have rights. There are courts.


The ironic thing is that his current behaviour is proving him to be an unfit parent. If I were a family court judge, I would be reluctant to authorise anything beyond supervised visitation rights.


Point well made.

Sorry about my outbursts, anyway. It's just that it's, one might say, a pet peeve of mine that parents (unborn or not) can even consider suicide.


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Last edited by LadyMacbeth on 07 Nov 2009, 11:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

RainSong
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07 Nov 2009, 11:21 pm

Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
I'm not sure the daughter (or the father of the baby) has any legal power to override the guardian's wishes, even regarding the fate of the baby.


I know that if a couple chooses to give a child up for adoption, the grandparents cannot overrule it; they've had a couple of cases where it's gone to court, including one with a autistic child. Beyond that, I don't know.


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leejosepho
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07 Nov 2009, 11:30 pm

LadyMacbeth wrote:
... it's, one might say, a pet peeve of mine that parents (unborn or not) can even consider suicide.


Agreed. Even the simplest of love for one's child could not possibly lead to suicide.


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GoonSquad
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07 Nov 2009, 11:46 pm

LadyMacbeth wrote:
Maggiedoll wrote:

Edit: this is dumb, but he mentioned in that note about his dog, and I keep thinking about how abandoned the dog is going to feel. Not wanting to abandon Piper has kept me from killing myself more than once.


Erm, yeah, no offence, but stuff the dog - he is father to an unborn child?! How f***ing selfish is that?!


Honestly, the kid's probably better off without a father like this...

On a side note, I think threads like this simply encourage bad and dangerous behavior and should have no place here...

It's a good job the guy didn't show a cat's bottom in his suicide note, because then our crackerjack mods would delete it, tout suite... :roll:


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Apple_in_my_Eye
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07 Nov 2009, 11:47 pm

RainSong wrote:
Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
I'm not sure the daughter (or the father of the baby) has any legal power to override the guardian's wishes, even regarding the fate of the baby.


I know that if a couple chooses to give a child up for adoption, the grandparents cannot overrule it; they've had a couple of cases where it's gone to court, including one with a autistic child. Beyond that, I don't know.


Yeah, though the idea of guardianship is the person who is the 'ward' (person under the guardian's power) is automatically legally incompetent. So I'm not sure she'd have the right to challege anything. It's sounds like a very nasty set up. I think she can ask for a change of guardian, depending on the state, though. If so, the ball is in the daughter's court.



leejosepho
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07 Nov 2009, 11:58 pm

My son-in-law and older daughter have some kind of guardianship over my son-in-law's infant niece who has incompetent parents who have not been together since the birth, and the judge goes out of his way to be sure no parental rights or priorities are being violated or ignored.

I know virtually nothing about this particular situation, but I have yet to hear a legitimate lament from either parent.


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08 Nov 2009, 12:01 am

GoonSquad wrote:
LadyMacbeth wrote:
Maggiedoll wrote:
On a side note, I think threads like this simply encourage bad and dangerous behavior and should have no place here...
:


Let's face it, Aspies are just as voyeuristic as the rest of the world :) .



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08 Nov 2009, 12:17 am

Why not just wait for the girlfriend to get old enough to move away from the parents? Some problems resolve themselves when you just sleep on it.

The story fits a pattern similar to a family member who threatened suicide some time ago. He's doing this to manipulate someone, possibly the girlfriend's mother, who apparently posted on his blog.

A person may say he's going to kill himself by taking pills he probably doesn't even have, watches the drama, and gets what he wants when everyone is relieved to find out the situation wasn't so bad after all. It's a psychological level shifting tactic.


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08 Nov 2009, 12:31 am

You can never know when it is a tactic to attain attention, or a genuine cry for help that might go wrong.
Some people kill themselves on video, I know someone who had to watch a female on webcam take her life in front of him and he had no forewarning.
I don't know that threats of suicide should ever be taken lightly, even if they are made often, as each threat might be made in a desperate emotional state where the person genuinely feels like taking their lives...and of course, they then feel pretty stupid afterwards when they are still alive, having been unable to do it or having been talked out of it.
It takes a real effort in most cases, I think, to actually do it, to do something that is irreversible. I know because I have been suicidal so often, and have come so close, and have spent hours considering the quickest most surest methods, but have never been able to actually take that one last step.
then of course, if you have said you are going to do it, you then have everyone telling you you were just playing on peoples emotions, trying to gain attention...well a lot of people who reach a point of being suicidal, maybe need attention. or they wouldnt have reached that point to begin with, surely.



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08 Nov 2009, 12:59 am

Suicide threats should never be taken lightly -- they are always a cry for some kind of help.

Many years ago, a young man told me he had attempted suicide a couple of times and had since considered it again. I told him I would not be in attendance at his funeral if he ever again tried suicide without calling me beforehand. A few weeks later, he called early one morning to say "Goodbye." I said "Goodbye" in return and immediately hung up on him so I could call the police. Two weeks later, he still had not figured out how the police had known to show up and stop him ... and today that man who has since been spiritually transformed is my son-in-law.


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Graelwyn
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08 Nov 2009, 1:16 am

You sound like a good man, Leejose.
I think someone on this site or another site did the same to me once. At the time I was angry.
I am in the uk so I have no idea how they contacted police here, but they turned up at my door as I had been posting at the time about being suicidal.
The only issue is that now, I am too scared mostly to tell anyone when I am as I have a fear of them turning up again.



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08 Nov 2009, 2:18 am

Graelwyn wrote:
You sound like a good man, Leejose.
I think someone on this site or another site did the same to me once. At the time I was angry.
I am in the uk so I have no idea how they contacted police here, but they turned up at my door as I had been posting at the time about being suicidal.
The only issue is that now, I am too scared mostly to tell anyone when I am as I have a fear of them turning up again.


yes, I would never mention I felt suicidal, even if I did, as it freaks people out so much. I remember other times on WP one of the members was in post partum depression and said she was thinking about doing a Columbine style shooting and she was tracked down and got mental health help and financial help. It happens all the time.


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GoonSquad
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08 Nov 2009, 2:52 am

you know, cyber-bulling by people who abuse their power could cause suicidal tendencies. Good thing that never happens around here! :lol:


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sinsboldly
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08 Nov 2009, 3:05 am

GoonSquad wrote:
you know, cyber-bulling by people who abuse their power could cause suicidal tendencies. Good thing that never happens around here! :lol:


are you saying you are going to commit suicide because I removed your avatar of a cat's anus? Is that what this is all about, GoonSquad?

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GoonSquad
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08 Nov 2009, 3:15 am

sinsboldly wrote:
GoonSquad wrote:
you know, cyber-bulling by people who abuse their power could cause suicidal tendencies. Good thing that never happens around here! :lol:


are you saying you are going to commit suicide because I removed your avatar of a cat's anus? Is that what this is all about, GoonSquad?

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Why no, not at all. I wouldn't even do that over deleting my replacement avatar and disabling my ability to upload any avatars at all.

I like abuse. I can take it! :wink:

:P


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Last edited by GoonSquad on 08 Nov 2009, 3:18 am, edited 1 time in total.