dispair

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Joined: 13 Jan 2008
Age: 45
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03 Jan 2010, 6:32 am

I read half the 'I hate conflict' book last night and it was really good. I wish I had got it months ago, it explained so much about my relationship and Im sure it would have helped.

lotusblossom
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03 Jan 2010, 8:28 am

I read some more of the conflict book, its really good, it explains about couples differing conflict styles making things worse and also says how to have conflicts 'properly' without it ending in hurt feelings. She recomends a book by marc gopin on healing conflict so Ive ordered that too.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Healing-Heart-C ... 391&sr=8-7

Tory_canuck
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04 Jan 2010, 2:12 am

Physical exercise helps with stress too. It has helped me during some hard times. Usually going for a run or jog, doing push ups, or sit ups or chin ups till you are tired and out of breath helps.To me, after doing hard physical activity, the mild soreness and being out of breath temporarily with the heightened sense of alertness gets rid of those stressful feelings for a small time period...enough time to think and strategize with a "clear" mind.It is also good for you as well and your heart healthwise.You can get your kids into doing exercise and such too and make it so it is fun and stimulating for them...

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Tory_canuck
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04 Jan 2010, 2:21 am

lotusblossom wrote:

I dont think emigrating would be a practical solution Tory_canuck.

I think I will just start smoking again to cope as everything is really horrible. Its all too much to cope with.

Its only 2 days now, they are going to give the kids private interviews, of course the kids will say the worst things as they will be worried and not know what to say. Its awful as my 7 year old has pulled the dining room door off in a tantrum so im going to have to explain that to the social worker.

Im frightend as well that they might put me in the mental hospital as Im really not well. Im frightend of hospital as had a horrible time in there in my teens. Everyday just gets worse not better.

You can cover up the dining room door incident by moving some furniture around, taking the door off the hinges and placing it somewhere the gestapo wont go (such as your room...i dont know if they nose around in there or not) and say you were cleaning and moving the furniture around for a change and in doing so, YOU ACCIDENTALLY broke the door and removed it so it would not look like a dump too much.

leejosepho
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04 Jan 2010, 7:11 am

Tory_canuck wrote:

You can cover up the dining room door incident by ... [lying] ...

I doubt that would come off very well.

I believe your visit is tomorrow, Lotus. Are you feeling a little closer to being ready for it?

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I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
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lotusblossom
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04 Jan 2010, 2:26 pm

had the social worker visit this afternoon, I didnt smoke (yay for me). I handelled it quite well it was very traumatric, I had to say my whole life history for her assessment and it was awful as Ive had a crappy life and very humiliateing. I had to say about being in the mental hospital and having violent relationships, it was upsetting talking about it and I expect she will judge me negatively for it but I cant lie.

I have got back with my boyfriend as it was too hard giveing him up as well as it hurt me too much to not be with him. Its been nice spending the evening with him and were getting on great.

the social worker said the next visit is the kids private interviews with her and another social worker.

leejosepho
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04 Jan 2010, 5:25 pm

It is good to hear you survived this visit!

Hang in there ...

_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================

lotusblossom
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04 Jan 2010, 7:20 pm

Thank you!! !

I am trying not to ruminate on the repercusions of what i said to her, Im trying to keep in the present moment.

Ive got the evening off tomorrow as my mother is coming so can babysit and so that will do me good.

I dont think I will be able to go to my aspie meet up though as its snowiung heavily here and the trains might be shut.

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