I don't deserve to live.

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I've just took my big Christmas tree down, and I feel 100% better, like Christmas, New Years and the social blips that I've experienced over the past 10 days have never happened. The reminder is no longer shining in front of me. I'll pack up the rest of the stuff on the 8th, like I usually do. I think that I'm ready to smile, again.

:):):):):)

It takes 23 muscles to smile and 46 to frown

Well, if you killed yourself. Several others here who have suicidal thoughts (for there are people who have those thoughts) may see that as the last push they need, the final step in their internal war about their life and its worth. Your death could easily lead to others. Connections like those are interesting, the way one persons decisions and actions can affect others.

It is indeed, good to hear that you no longer have the thoughts. But remember that you are not the only one who will be affected by your death, in the case that you ever get them again.

And you will, most people never stop at one urge for suicide. You read about it quite often, especially here, it seems as if it is a struggle that will take months, if not years to overcome. Even then, it probably will never fully leave.

Yeah, Christmas is a total downer. I've been to my doc's a couple of times the last two weeks for stronger anti-depressants...

I don't generally take my Mum's advice about most things lol, but when I'm feeling crappy, she always tells me - hang on, because you never know what's round the next corner. And it's turned out to be true so many times. Just when it all seems completely hopeless, some little thing happens that changes how I'm feeling.

I tried suicide once - very messy, painful, upsetting, and I didn't even get it right lol. It's much harder than it looks... I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

Yeah, Christmas is a total downer. I've been to my doc's a couple of times the last two weeks for stronger anti-depressants...

I don't generally take my Mum's advice about most things lol, but when I'm feeling crappy, she always tells me - hang on, because you never know what's round the next corner. And it's turned out to be true so many times. Just when it all seems completely hopeless, some little thing happens that changes how I'm feeling.

I tried suicide once - very messy, painful, upsetting, and I didn't even get it right lol. It's much harder than it looks... I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

Thank you for your replies. It really made me think things over. I just got my life back on track, and than I was swallowing these pills. After the 4th one, I went to bed and slept it off. I woke up around 2:00 feeling better, and I decided to live.

Yet for some thier whole lives have been s**t and havent gotten better. Just proves my belief that life is all about how much s**t you can shovel and how fast you can do it. oh, and wether or not the pile falls back, burying you beneath it all.

Almost stopped reading there.

Honestly, I come to that conclusion at least once a week. If I killed myself every time I felt bad for acting childish or felt ignored I'd be dead everyday. If that even makes any sense. I don't know.

that is pretty much how it goes for me as well.

I don't deserve to live either and I am deffinately a nasty person at the moment. My feller is the only link left to the world I have.

There are times where I feel the same way that I don't deserve to live. I am glad you are doing better and didn't kill yourself.

I'm glad to be alive, tonight.

I'm glad you're alive too. The world would be a much sadder place to lose such a sweet soul. One in a million. And I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, too.