massive anxiety after self-diagnosing .. normal??

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hey Katz
Re the sensory overload stuff you mentioned.
Well, I too found this really strangely
overwhelming.

Looking back I now see how pre-dx I hypotized
myself to be non- Autistic......
I formed a personaility to insulate myself.

Think of the drowning man in a stormy sea,
would he hear the screaming gulls overhead
or roar of the sea that threatens to
consume him. Or would he but evey ounce
of his focus upon each stroke that would take
him to the shore.

For me my dx, was like arriving on a that
shoreline, then thinking, how the hell did
I pull-off such a feat? and how the hell
am I going to learn to swim again in calmer
waters with all this flipping racket going on
around me.

O the joys of moving on beyond mere survival.

Keep in touch.

Chris

that actually makes a lot of sense. i'm sure things will quiet again over time. meanwhile i'm hoping to pursue a diagnosis, just so i can say goodbye forever to that "i must be crazy" place i have visited so many times en route to an explanation.

thanks again.

ah, don't count your chickens before they are hatched. I am still staggering from what my diagnosis churned up. Not saying I am 'crazy' but living autistic all my life without knowing it has really fouled up a few wires and circuits in my neurotransmitters. Just luxuriate in knowing your basis for all your reactions, etc was never your 'fault' and let any blame just evaporate.

keep hanging in there, it gets more real


Merle

thank you, Merle.

wise words.

i'm still oscillating: denial / relief / anger / acceptance / remorse / doubt .. and back again.


i will * try* to slow down. deep breaths ...