Considering therapy

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Good luck with your search. I've been in therapy/seeking therapy a few times in my life and most of it hasn't been very productive. CBT is great if you've anxiety issues surrounding certain situations, are phobic or have bad habits you need to break. It won't help with trauma. I once had very good results from a talking based theraby in my mid teens inasmuch as it gave me some sense of self esteem, but it did nothing to deal with actual underlying issues (nobody knew about autism) so didn't really help in the long term. The weird therapies that essentially have you sit talking to an unresponsive therapist who is trying to present themselves as a "blank slate" are really, really unhelpful in my experience. I was sent to one and not told anything about the method. She sat there mute while I begged for help with my social difficulties. It freaked me out and made me feel terrible. You'd be better off talking to a brick wall IMO. I was once offered freudian psychoanalysis, but didn't go since the method is pure unscientific bunk, mentally manipulative and IMO dangerous. I was very suprised that a qualified medical doctor would make such a referral, but then they sometimes make referrals to homeopaths so it's not really that suprising. Take care and do a little research into the methodology of anyone you're considering. There's a lot of crap out there.

Another thing, I've seen on some AS forums people recommending AS/HFA adults try therapists who usually deal with kids on the spectrum. Might be an idea if you can find a decent one.

Update: I attempted to contact therapist #3 on my list. I was told she doesn't see patients, she just directs the practice. Instead, they left a message and offered me a recent community college graduate. I was thinking I might give this a try, but wanted to at least see who else was available, so I attempted to call the office back. I called several times yesterday and today and got a recording every time (when they said they would be there), never a live person. Unprofessional. I give up on that practice.

That leaves me with several names who don't take insurance, and one person with overtly Christian themes on her Web page. I decided to try the religious lady because she's highly recommended, and knows ASD. (I am an atheist.) If that doesn't work, I'm left with any old therapist without ASD experience, because I just don't want to pay out of pocket. Joy. We'll see what happens.

I've only recently started delving into therapy. Thus far, I've been kind of frustrated because I feel like they've all patronized me. I'll talk about what they ask, such as whether I ever want to be in a relationship, and before I even finish my broad to micro-explanation, they'll irresistibly interject with inane, predictable advice such as "lots of people who are in relationships are in them for the wrong reason and aren't happy," when I've already considered and surpassed this on my own, as I was just about to start explaining until they derailed the conversation and explaining what my real problems are. What they don't seem to realize is I've already, by necessity, thought about my own issues longer and more intricately than anyone who's merely lazy would. I daresay I'm too smart for them to treat me but it's hard to recognize since I'm the one who hasn't gotten anywhere in life.

So I'm starting to confirm what I suspected all along: the only one who can be my doctor is me, and right now CBT seems best, since it's the basics that are hurting me and not lack of self-maintenence. No more of these government-issue paycheque-mongerers; I'm gonna make these ba5tards earn their keep. Feels like I should just take their degree off the wall and carry it under my arm on the way out.

That has been my experience as well. And "too smart for therapy" ia a notion I've heard before, and it makes sense because therapies like CBT are about tricking you into thinking differently, and while it might actually help if it worked, it won't work if you can see right through it.

I have been to 14 therapists over the past 20 years and none have helped me, and some harmed me with their inappropriate advice. (For instance I had a therapist encourage me to get out there and talk to people to overcome my depression. She didn't understand or believe that. for me. talking to other people is the most stressful thing there is. I became so stressed and overwhelmed that it sent me into a tailspin.) The therapist I'm seeing now is really upsetting me and I plan to tell her on my next visit that I won't be coming back.

Having said that, I would still encourage someone in Leander's position, who is isolated and seriously depressed, to go to a therapist just to have someone to listen. I think that alone will help lift you out of your aloneness. Just don't expect any real help with actual problems. Think of it as someone who is only there to listen (and find someone who will actually listen, which may be easier said than done.)

I figured I'd give an update here for anyone who's interested. I did find a therapist via Mudboy's link (thanks again for that - it was really helpful) and have been seeing her every week for a little over a month now. While it hasn't been some sort of miracle cure to my stress and emotional troubles (which I didn't expect anyway), and it's difficult to pick out concrete benefits I've gained from each session, I definitely feel it's been worthwhile overall so far, and is helping me. Plus, it turns out my insurance is apparently covering the full cost now, which was a pleasant surprise.

I feel comfortable talking to her, and get the impression of genuine sympathy from her end. It's kind of a safety net waiting for me as the stress builds over the course of the week, and then I can vent about all the things troubling me. I'm hard-pressed to think of a time when I've been criticised or patronised - I've just been given suggestions, advice, and support.

Unfortunately the health problems I mentioned in the OP are still plaguing me, making it over 3 months now since all this started, but that's a long rant for another thread.

That's been the number 1 reason for needing the therapy, though. This infection, or whatever it is, has scared me to the point that it's triggered panic attacks and other symptoms brought on by anxiety, such as nausea and nasty feelings of tightness in my chest that have lasted days. Until I started talking with my therapist and doctor about the symptoms, I'd been convinced that they were part of the illness, and still struggle to tell them apart from real, genuine feelings of some affliction now. But I've been taught a couple of techniques for relaxation, and Valium has helped a lot on the nights where I really, really feel I can't cope, and thankfully it's been about a month since I last broke down and had a full-blown panic attack. There have been lots of close calls, but I'm just about managing to hang on.

I've now been taking Zoloft for a week, and have yet to notice any effects. Anyone had any experiences with that? I was very sceptical until the therapist told me she'd taken it too at one point, which was kind of reassuring. I intend for it to only be short-term, just until I can get back to my normal health and get on with my life, so I'm not too worried about becoming dependent on it.

I believe anti depressants generally take 6-8 weeks before you notice any effect. They should have told you that. Once that begins to work you will probably find therapy more beneficial. It was that way for me. I spent many years in therapy before anyone thought to diagnose me with depression ( I was just "maladjusted" and then later SPD). All those years didn't really change anything but after the worst of my depression lifted I was able to sort of reprogram the way I looked at life and become more accepting of myself. I don't believe therapy can make a quiet person into a party animal (nor should it) but it can help you learn to love yourself the way you are. For myself, it helped me realize ways I have misinterpreted people for my entire life. Think of your therapist as sort of an NT guide and interpreter.

SSRI's affect everyone differently. Zoloft only works with about 45% of people who try it. For me it worked right away but for others it can take longer.

I'm glad it is going well for you. I made it through 3 sessions and quit. I got sympathy too, but I was looking for solutions, and I realized she would not have any to offer. I will not be going back to therapy.