You Need To Change

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What the hell is it with families and hypocrisy?? Mine are just as bad! They tell m I shouldn't keep my problems to myself and that I should talk and that they're "there to support me", and then if I do I get talked across, ignored, even shouted at for saying what's wrong! It can be simple or complicated and each time they'll act like it's a shock that I have a problem or two to talk about! They'll act as though it's immoral for me to complain about one thing or another and then they'll be the very ones to remind me that everybody goes through bad times throughout their life. If this is so, then why do I get told to "grow up" when I've decided to have the guts to admit that I have problems? Or is this just them taking their anger and insecure feelings out on me? Either way, it's ironic that they are the ones telling me to "grow up". I'm disgusted with their behaviour in this regard, especially when I would do ANYTHING for them.

They're basically telling you to show dominance if you're in a relationship.

I get a lot of that crap too, the only difference is that they say I need to learn how to take care of certain situations by myself, yet I know nothing about it and if it'll do something that destroy my lifestyle in the future... Very frustrating indeed.



When I was little, my folks brainwashed me. They'd always use to assure me that if I ever got into a fight (which I did a lot as a kid,) they'd be on my side. HOWEVER, whenever I did they were on my ass saying I was ret*d and that I should of attacked them...

That's because "everyone" thinks that the social realm is the most important thing. Number one: it isn't. Number two: there are different ways of being "social"--one size does not fit all. Most people just don't get it.

Also, as someone else said, people would rather point fingers at others than try to work on their own "issues."



Yes, VERY ironic! People who say that usually don't have a clue about what it REALLY means.

And no, I will never understand this. It's like someone asking "how are you?" when they don't really care. They pay lip service to "being there" (secretly hoping you won't really need them to be) and then throw a fit when you finally do what they ASKED and open up.

Sheesh.

Soledad, IMO you don't have to change a thing (and I'm not BS'ing you here), UNLESS YOU YOURSELF actually decide that you want/need to for your own reasons. Never change for others. Nine times out of ten, it's not worth it.

Oh god, I'm just glad I'm not the only one who's having to deal with the same issue. Yeah I think a lot of people don't get "it". They're wanting the best for us without realizing how destructive they're being when they're telling us to change. I'm sure most of us can relate but it's almost impossible to change or become something you're not esp if you're on the spectrum. I'm finding this out more and more. I use to call myself lazy or stupid because I could never be what my dad or mom wanted. My dad was the most hardest on me and still is. It's very tough to live with him even when he now understands I have a "disorder" or personality that is innate in me. Too many ppl in this world still have this attitude that our personalities are like blank slates that can be changed.

You can sort of roll it off your back. I've been taking cognitive therapy and it does help but there is feelings you have every right to own. But it's something you'll have to learn to assert without acting out destructively.



I eventually wrote a letter to my dad. It took me a while to get the words in its proper form but he seem overtly acknoweledge what I was feeling. He's still got this attitude but he's a much different father from the one I use to know.