How to stop myself from being a stalker

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We're supposed to be good at thinking logically, no? Well stalking is a very irrational thing to do. It won't get you what you wanted, and it will likely get you in trouble. So it seems to me it wouldn't be a problem as long as you can think about it rationally.

Well my advise to not be a stalker would be erm...i dunno STOP FOLLOWING PEOPLE??

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Aspies can actually get away with stalking people because they aren't supposed to know what they are doing.

Pilot your own ship, because no one else is going to... Even if you love them...

I think your best bet is to nip emotional attachment in the bud.

I am the same. There is one guy i'm madly in love with and look at MSN every 5 minutes to see if hes online. That isn't hurting anyone, but it's unhealthy. Best to nip it in the bud at the stage where it isn't hurting anyone.

If you are unsure of what healthy behaviour in regards to this is, I can try and help out.

Calling/texting someone you don't know too well more than a couple of times a week.
Don't let it get past this point, if you find yourself starting to do this, try to nip it in the bud.

Also, sometimes you know where they live, and you go out of the way to walk past their house. Its not hurting anyone, but this is the time to tell yourself "Its developing into something unhealthy now is the time to act/put it to a stop".

To avoid being a stalker first you have to be capable of recognising stalking behaviour in yourself so you don't need it pointed out to you. If you have any more problems or questions, post here.

This thread makes me sad. I don't want to agree with the folks who said not to get attached to anyone, but I'm seeing some wisdom in it. When I fall in love, the other person becomes my special interest, and that can be a beautiful thing. Most recently, I fell in love with another Aspie and we were each other's special interest. We were constantly in contact--texting, e-mailing, IM'g, all over each other's social sites...and then all of a sudden I was shut off. I didn't understand it. I still don't.

I feel like he was the first person to understand me, the legitimate me I've always hidden away lest she be laughed at or made fun of or bullied. For the first time I had an honest to God friend...and then I didn't. I still have to restrain myself from contacting him, because I'm so alone now. He's accused me of stalking, and I guess technically I did--but only because I didn't understand why things changed so suddenly. I almost wish I'd never met him, or that I'd stayed well away from him when things first started. But right now I want my friend back.

I can't bring him back, nor would I want to coerce him, but I sure could use that kind of friend again. And I never, ever want to feel this rejected and worthless again. I guess I have agree that staying away from people completely is the safer thing to do.

i've had a sort of stalker before.
That girl was loco... or maybe just unattractively desperate.
she tracked down my address and asked my friends for my cell number after i wouldn't give them to her. She kept telling people i was her boyfriend

I was like "oh my god.... i can't believe i actually have a stalker."
She gave up after a few months though. Possibly just found someone else, idk

Don't stare and don't fallow them. I learned that the hard way.

I was actually called a stalker, by a member, here. He dumped me, because I was too gross, for him, and than he called me a stalker.

After all the trouble with the OP who made this thread as a threat to me, I feel it should be locked.
Guys can be jerks Cockney, your not a stalker

How do you know this thread was made as a threat to you?

hmmm my input on this may be valuble yet i may sound like someone who thinks of himself as superior although im not. the stalker claims to "need" the person he stalks but really who is to blame in this scenario? the stalker is to blame and only the stalker. those who say that they "cant control themselves" are weak minded or just lying and therfor deserve all negative consequences associated with their actions.

basically what im getting at is if you dont want to stalk then simply dont do it, and if anyone says its not that simple they are one of the weak or a lair and the weak always deserve what they get. responsibility to the responsible. I live my life by that simple rule.

earlier the statement was made that the stalker substitutes this imagined need for another person for a personal need or problem. If that is truly the case that still doesnt mean that the person who fits this description isnt 100% to blame for all their stalking behavior. If thats the only way you can deal with your un met needs then do us all a favor and fix those problems your self in a healthy non destructive way because all personal problems can and should be taken care of solely by the person they apply to even if this means seeking help from others. although i personally see that as a sign of weakness as well. do not tell me insensitive or harsh because i will take it as a compliment. if everyone was a harsh rugged individualist then we wouldnt have these kind of problems in the world.

A legal definition might shed some light on this, it varies from state to state in the US, but this definition comes from aware.org (Arming Women Against Rape & Endangerment):

"Fundamentally, stalking is a series of actions that puts a person in fear for their safety. The stalker may follow you, harass you, call you on the telephone, watch your house, send you mail you don't want, or act in some other way that frightens you."

People use stalking casually on the net, thinking it means getting information about someone or 'snooping' in what is publicly posted information (FB profiles, forum posts, websites, etc.). Where that behavior, online or in person, crosses the line is when it starts creating a fear reaction in the stalkee. Now, the most clear way to establish this is for the stalkee (or their representative) to clearly state: what you are doing is frightening me, stop now. If the other person does not stop, they are then (legally) a stalker.

In other words, do not follow someone around after they have told you to leave them alone. It's a rule.