emlion wrote:
Sallamandrina wrote:
The "normal" thing would be for him to apologise and see if you're willing to forgive him.
Maybe you gave him too much power/didn't establish clear boundaries. For instance, it's not ok to feel the need to hide having a fight with your boyfriend - if your friend doesn't like it, he should be explained that arguments happen and it's up to you to decide how you manage your love-life. If you reverse the situation, how do you think your boyfriend would react if he knew your friend hit you?
He does know my friend hit me. And obviously he's not happy about it. He told me he thinks I shouldn't be friends with him, but he'll respect any decision I make about it.
I think i'm going to call my friend later and see what he wants to do. You're right, the boundaries on our relationship are a little blurry, but that's because I generally let him (and my boyf to an extent) tell me what to do often because if left to my own devices I make bad choices.
Thank you for the advice.
emlion, sometimes i am very hard on you and try to be stern with you. this is because i see a lot of myself in you, in many ways. my husband is almost like a caregiver to me, and i don't know if i could manage without a husband to take care of me, in all honesty.
anyway, i cannot imagine having anybody ever hit me though. i could not handle that, whether it was a friend or boyfriend or whatever. it is too awful. i would not consider a person my friend if he or she did that to me. but i am not forgiving and i do not keep friends very long. so maybe i cannot keep a fair perspective on that too well.
so maybe i should just say i'm so sorry this happened to you and i hope you are able to work it out in whatever way is best for you. maybe your therapist can also offer advice on boundaries?
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15 Oct 2010, 4:41 pm
