Proof that I need a girlfriend FAST!

Page 2 of 9 [ 135 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 9  Next

Craig28
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,258

28 Oct 2010, 2:16 pm

I was apart from her when she was off for over a month due to a family bereavement. She's back at work now and she's doing brilliant and as usual I am offering her support and someone she can confide in. She has accepted the offer and has confided in me. She understands that befriending isn't a one way street, she isn't just there to give support to me, I am also there to give it to her if and when she needs it. Being apart from her won't do anything. The feelings will lay dormant like before and reoccur when she comes back into my life.



Funaho
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 447
Location: Detroit, Michigan

28 Oct 2010, 2:17 pm

Craig28 wrote:
I've gone back into crying over my female befriender. I find it so difficult to focus at the moment. I recognise that I do have a problem and that I am going to see an AS counsellor as soon as possible.


I know exactly how you feel...there's someone at work I've liked for at least two years, and just yesterday I discovered that she is actually dating someone (someone from overseas, no less) even though she lists herself on Facebook as "single." I found this out when she came back from vacation with vacation photos of her with said guy, and referred to herself as his girlfriend. Been miserable and completely unable to work for the past two days now.


_________________
Quantum Mechanics -- the dreams stuff is made of


Craig28
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,258

28 Oct 2010, 2:27 pm

Funaho wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
I've gone back into crying over my female befriender. I find it so difficult to focus at the moment. I recognise that I do have a problem and that I am going to see an AS counsellor as soon as possible.


I know exactly how you feel...there's someone at work I've liked for at least two years, and just yesterday I discovered that she is actually dating someone (someone from overseas, no less) even though she lists herself on Facebook as "single." I found this out when she came back from vacation with vacation photos of her with said guy, and referred to herself as his girlfriend. Been miserable and completely unable to work for the past two days now.


I knew that my befriender, Helen, was married before I met her. She married a guy called Paul in 2005 and Paul is the former boss of a man I know, Kevin. You see, Kevin has his own business now and Helen is an employee. After experiencing the first bout of feelings over 2 months ago, and knowing Paul since 2000, I decided to meet him weeks ago and me and Helen went to see him when it was his week off work.

Like I said to a confidant of mine when I spoke about Helen, I told him that I would shake Paul's hand when I met him, and I did. He's a great guy and they are a lovely couple. Its a shame that Helen isn't my girlfriend, but being AS I guess that I probably couldn't show her the love that she needs. I'm just glad that she is with someone like Paul in a loving relationship and she is very happy. That makes me happy too. Although I am 28 and she is 41 and childless (they aren't having any, he also has 3 from a previous marriage), I don't consider the age an obstacle in us being friendly and getting on well together.

She has only been in the job since February this year and started seeing me as a client in early May and already she is an absolute treasure for the company and everybody likes her. She treats me how I should be treated - with respect and validation and for that I am truly thankful and grateful to any possible higher power that put us together from a series of events that were taking place since my diagnosis at 16 in 1998.



DemonAbyss10
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,492
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania

28 Oct 2010, 2:57 pm

Craig28 wrote:
Funaho wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
I've gone back into crying over my female befriender. I find it so difficult to focus at the moment. I recognise that I do have a problem and that I am going to see an AS counsellor as soon as possible.


I know exactly how you feel...there's someone at work I've liked for at least two years, and just yesterday I discovered that she is actually dating someone (someone from overseas, no less) even though she lists herself on Facebook as "single." I found this out when she came back from vacation with vacation photos of her with said guy, and referred to herself as his girlfriend. Been miserable and completely unable to work for the past two days now.


I knew that my befriender, Helen, was married before I met her. She married a guy called Paul in 2005 and Paul is the former boss of a man I know, Kevin. You see, Kevin has his own business now and Helen is an employee. After experiencing the first bout of feelings over 2 months ago, and knowing Paul since 2000, I decided to meet him weeks ago and me and Helen went to see him when it was his week off work.

Like I said to a confidant of mine when I spoke about Helen, I told him that I would shake Paul's hand when I met him, and I did. He's a great guy and they are a lovely couple. Its a shame that Helen isn't my girlfriend, but being AS I guess that I probably couldn't show her the love that she needs. I'm just glad that she is with someone like Paul in a loving relationship and she is very happy. That makes me happy too. Although I am 28 and she is 41 and childless (they aren't having any, he also has 3 from a previous marriage), I don't consider the age an obstacle in us being friendly and getting on well together.

She has only been in the job since February this year and started seeing me as a client in early May and already she is an absolute treasure for the company and everybody likes her. She treats me how I should be treated - with respect and validation and for that I am truly thankful and grateful to any possible higher power that put us together from a series of events that were taking place since my diagnosis at 16 in 1998.


At least you recognize the issue at hand. I feel as long as your still friends/on good terms with her and her husband, its good.


_________________
Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5

Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/


pandorazmtbox
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 25 Jul 2010
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 297
Location: Cone of Silence

28 Oct 2010, 3:42 pm

Craig28 wrote:
Its a shame that Helen isn't my girlfriend, but being AS I guess that I probably couldn't show her the love that she needs.


Well that part's just pure bullsh!t, but I'm with you on the rest. :D Thing is, you now know you are capable of having these feelings for someone and that it is possible for you to feel this way and reciprocate with someone. Problem is, this is a painful situation no matter how it develops and resolves. Please don't put yourself through more pain.


_________________
-Amy
without the dark of night we could not see the stars
hereirawr.wordpress.com <---shameless self-promo


Craig28
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,258

28 Oct 2010, 5:07 pm

When I was with her earlier on, we talked about my writing a book. I told her that I would do it and dedicate it to her. She was very happy to be thought of in such a way.

Whilst driving, we got into the topic of poetry and how she wrote one and read it out for her fathers cremation service. She offered to show it to me and inside I was like NOOOOOOOOO!! ! I told her that she should keep the poem a personal memento of that day, although she did read the poem to family and relatives at the service. That day was for her family and relatives and should remain a private affair, although she did thank me from the heart for the lovely big bouquet of flowers and condolences I sent her from me and my family, which she met over the previous weeks.

Also on the drive, with the topic of poetry still being discussed, I told her that she would be a great poet and should get some words down to send off for any possible publication. She then asked me for a topic to write a poem upon and she would write it and show it to me next week and after a little thought, I said that the topic should be about me. She took up the challenge!

Within the last few hours, I started on something of my own and found it difficult to start and thats when I decided to write it in the guise of a song, and I followed it to a song that makes me think of her when I hear it on the radio. Of course, I followed the tune, but changed the words, although I did leave some in there, but in different places. It feels supergood that I sat down and put my mind onto something and its made me happier right now knowing that I am capable of something constructive. The song/poem isn't offensive or lovey dovey in any way, its just something that she would really like to read when I see her next week.

Everything is going to be lovely, I have a factual book to start writing, a few errands to run at the weekend and websurfing, TV and DVDs to watch. I'm even going to write another song/poem on Monday from another song that reminds me of her.

2011 is going to rock! :D :D :D :D :D



Craig28
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,258

29 Oct 2010, 11:48 am

Well, I have survived my second breakdown and I've forced myself to take the anti depressant medicine that I left untouched in the cupboard.

What happened this time? Well, this same lady really got to me again. Its because she just gets me, she listens, understands and validates me. So, I got my little knife out of my cupboard and I sat on the bed and ran it up and down by left hand, each time applying slightly more pressure until I could feel it. Wow! Blood!! I stopped and I actually said to myself "What am I doing?", I quickly put the knife away and won't be doing that again.

I have to make a stand and get strong again, day by day. I will be fully strong by Jan 1st! :D



DemonAbyss10
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,492
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania

29 Oct 2010, 10:51 pm

Craig28 wrote:
Well, I have survived my second breakdown and I've forced myself to take the anti depressant medicine that I left untouched in the cupboard.

What happened this time? Well, this same lady really got to me again. Its because she just gets me, she listens, understands and validates me. So, I got my little knife out of my cupboard and I sat on the bed and ran it up and down by left hand, each time applying slightly more pressure until I could feel it. Wow! Blood!! I stopped and I actually said to myself "What am I doing?", I quickly put the knife away and won't be doing that again.

I have to make a stand and get strong again, day by day. I will be fully strong by Jan 1st! :D



At least ya stopped yourself. And honestly If I was an In real life friend of yours and saw ya doing that to yourself you prolly would have been knocked unconscious.

But yeah, as I have been saying, you gotta pick yourself up off the ground and wipe off the dirt and blood. You and the woman could still be good friends IMO without infringing upon her marriage. Just takes a bit of self control and willpower.


_________________
Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5

Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/


richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Xfractor Card #351

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

30 Oct 2010, 9:14 pm

how do i know i need a girlfriend fast? the proof is all over my bed sheets! :pale:



DemonAbyss10
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,492
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania

30 Oct 2010, 10:06 pm

richardbenson wrote:
how do i know i need a girlfriend fast? the proof is all over my bed sheets! :pale:


and you sir just threw my mind into the gutter... now I am tempted to make a semen joke/remark :/


_________________
Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5

Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/


richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Xfractor Card #351

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

31 Oct 2010, 10:29 am

haha, spunk jokes are teh hilarious. i know some but i'd get banned for posting them here

there so dirty! my goodness :jester:



DemonAbyss10
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,492
Location: The Poconos, Pennsylvania

31 Oct 2010, 11:10 am

richardbenson wrote:
haha, spunk jokes are teh hilarious. i know some but i'd get banned for posting them here

there so dirty! my goodness :jester:


I know, hence why I am not gonna post mine either. Now if it were under the adult section perhaps.


_________________
Myers Brigg - ISTP
Socionics - ISTx
Enneagram - 6w5

Yes, I do have a DeviantArt, it is at.... http://demonabyss10.deviantart.com/


Ash13
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 14

01 Nov 2010, 7:50 pm

Pistonhead wrote:
Eh, I find relationships easy to get into....problem is finding someone I can be with for more than a week, more than 3-4 months, etc. Not that I want to be in a long relationship or any right now. Now friends with benefits....much harder to find :wall:


I have same problem, i've never had a relationship last longer than about 4 months. I'm always misunderstood - but now im wondering if I care anymore. Maybe FWB is the way to go.



Faidin
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 105
Location: Oklahoma

01 Nov 2010, 10:03 pm

I've been around someone like Helen before, and let me warn you, I think your playing with fire. Is there a reason she's not confiding in her husband?



Craig28
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,258

02 Nov 2010, 11:08 am

I've been back just over an hour after being out with Helen. I can't shake these feelings I have for her. I'm actually depressed and am seriously thinking of cutting myself again. This time, there will be more blood.

Like I said, to make all this go away, I need my own girlfriend NOW!

Its no use people here telling me that "it won't make me happy" blah blah blah, you aren't me. I know me and I know what I want, but more specifically, I know what I NEED.



mechanicalgirl39
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Apr 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,340

02 Nov 2010, 11:29 am

Seanmw wrote:
Craig28 wrote:
DemonAbyss10 wrote:
Sharpen your willpower and just power your way through the hormones telling ya you absolutely need to get laid.


I've done this three times, once at 26 and twice at 28. It really did nothing for me because it happened a little too late for me. Having a girlfriend will also not do me much good, but only because I believe its happened a little too late. However, the girlfriend, just like the sex, is needed just so I can say that I have been there and experienced them. Overall though, a girlfriend would make me a lot happier.


Wow, that's a terrible reason to get a girlfriend.
I wonder how she'd feel if you told her that :roll:


This.

You should want a girlfriend because you want to connect with a female human being sexually/emotionally, and take care of each other - not as a status symbol.


_________________
'You're so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me, one last time' (Breaking Benjamin)