How often do you feel suicidal?

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I found this book which is a suicide self help book useing CBT very helpful. I especially liked it as it had logical arguments against suicide which I had not heard before. My favourite is that we all are going to die so suicide reflects a lack of patience, and so when I feel like dying I say to myself 'patience kathleen, patience' its not like its never going to happen, I wont have to suffer forever. Anyway here it is, its full of useful gems.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Choosing-Live-S ... 345&sr=1-1

That's really ironic, as my local mental health team told me that I was too suicidal for CBT.

perhaps you can tell them about the book and they can then refer you? The book is writen by 'top' psychologists who are very well known and there are quite a few other books which are similar so I dont know why the mental health team would have that attitude. Maybe they are short of psychologists and dont want to refer people?

I'd just reached the top of the waiting list for CBT, and this interview was to assess me for suitability for CBT. I made the mistake of telling them of answering the how and when question about suicide, at which point I was refused CBT, and referred to a psychologist for assessment immediately.

The psychologist made it clear that if I insisted on telling the truth to the question, i.e. the how and when of suicide, then I'd be locked up immediately, so I declined to answer.

The psychologist later declared that I would not benefit from therapy.

So that was that. Too suicidal for CBT, not good enough for therapy.

Excellent logic on your part. I can't fault that!

Usually daily with the occasional day of happiness.

Whenever I think of those that have been (financially) supporting me for so damn long.

2 days ago i wanted to cut my vein off because the member that said me to die and disappear we don't need people like me because of my thinking of women and i knew she haved right a 100%. I feeled like a crap. By chance i go out to a wrestling show no long after that i feeled better. Sometime i ask myself with my parents not let my die a 1 year with my hernia. Now i feel better and i will talk to my autism specialist when i will see him

A lot.

I guess it depends on two factors:

1.) My amount of sleep or energy
2.) What is going on around me

#1 typically makes me more depressed in general. #2, life events, stress, a family who can't accept their child for who he is (so he must somehow lie and love them simultaneously), no friends to fall back on, lack of time to spend on things that could make me happier, etc... I could go on for ages.

When both #1 and #2 are going pretty bad, or really bad, I get suicidal.

These days, I'm not suicidal as much as I am just wanting to get away from everything. An impossible wish, of course.

I think about suicide nearly every day from gender dysphoria. I don't want to be a man anymore and it really really hurts. Since I'm huge and will never look like a woman, I wish myself dead constantly. My life isn't worth anything to me if I have to be a man.