People Somehow Know You Are Different

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I just tell people I'm borderline autistic, and they shut up. In fact, people realizing my difference has lead to two things: 1) people not believing I'm on the spectrum or 2) me given opportunities to talk about it in classes (I wrote an entire paper this semester on human rights abuses and autism for a politics class).

People never seem to believe in me neither, no matter if they know that i have asperger's or not.

I've had experience with this. My mum made me go to this stupid summer camp thing and I tried to socialise, but within a few days they worked out I was weird and pretty much ignored me.

Things have got better since then, though. At school most people don't particularly dislike me and include me in their conversations fairly often. I never hang out with them outside of school, but I don't want to anyway. I also don't bother pretending to be normal anymore either.

That's the opposite of light touch, and an example what I mean by 'clunky'---a big all-at-once action that logically 'should' work out, but for a variety of reasons, including just random flux, may not. And, yeah, parents can push these kinds of actions, and you might almost immediately start feeling trapped, because there's just too much downside. Why don't we light-touch it instead! Obviously, I think we should.

In fact, I've kind of observed that people who are highly skilled socially might have two parties (and/or other social events) lined up the same evening. And they will light-touch the first one. And if it's merely so-so, they'll move on. If it's pretty good, the person will stay longer. The person also seems to have the skill of a little bit making a gracious ceremony as they go to the food bar and then stands to the side nibbling, as he or she also catches the vibes and flow of what's going on socially. And to do this kind of casually without overdoing it. In fact, the really skilled behavior is to attend a party with a friend. The two of you might meet other people, which is interesting and fun, but if you don't, the two of you still have had a nice event. It is immediately more ambitious to attend a party or event by yourself, and seems to (usually) require smoother, more practiced skills (of course, a lot of luck involved in all this). Meaning, if you don't currently have a social network, just when you most need friends, kind of hard to boot strap it all.

(We can observe a highly social person and decide which of their skills we wish to incorporate, and experiment with, and which we don't.)

I like this!

Let me just add that I find some legitimate behaviors of NT's such as running on a treadmill like a hampster very strange.

People know that I'm different. They also know that the different one is me. There was one ignorant girl who looked at me in Army & Navy yesterday and she said, "Oh...it's that weirdo." I took it as a compliment, because I love my differences.

Don't forget they drive their car from their home to where the treadmill is

Yes, I've heard weird, different, strange, enigmatic. I don't think it's my appearance. I'm pretty boring in that respect. People say that after they get to know me. I'm not the loud one in the room asserting my opinions; I think they just wonder why I don't function like everyone else does. They can't see why I never have a real job or a steady relationship. I tell them when I figure it out I'll let them know.

Yeah, a lot of people are overly critical, and can pick up on those who are different, and hold it against them. I've experienced the same thing, or so I think.

That you are "different". Yes. Even though you may not tell anyone you are on the autism spectrum, it will come out in non-verbal ways.

Most people don't know that autism is a spectrum in the first place, and often may not believe you when you tell them. A lot of people with aspergers seem to not want to tell other people at all for whatever reasons, perhaps because its very difficult to pin down aspergers. Should we advance ourselves more like people involved in gay rights?

I have had people talk to me really slow like I was either deaf or ret*d.

I also had a boss that when ever I did something he made a big deal about it saying atta boy. Then one a waitresses son with downsyndrome came in and was doing something for the boss and he gave him an atta boy and was talking to him the same way he talked to me. I relized he thought I was ret*d or slow. I later found out some of my tormentors told him I was in special education classes so he assumed I was an idiot. Lets say we had a little discussion with him and the union rep with the main topic being how good the union's lawyer was fixed that way thinking.

People can tell I'm odd from a mile away. Most people tell me that there is something really off about me, but they can't exactly place what it is. Strangely, it attracts certian people. I've had people call me "charming" and even worst "adorable". I have no idea what is wrong with these people. How is describing the functions of the various parts of the brain and the process of skull elongating cute in anyway? It doesn't feel much better being called a freaky, anti-social, self centered know-it-all though.

Yes, I've had this feeling many times throughout my life but, I try not to dwell upon it rather simply do as best as I can.Actually, many people have his/her own way of doing things and therefore, I don't feel that such a notion of doing something unorthodox should be seen as wrong..

Can people tell I'm different? Let me examine a few pieces of evidence.
The one friend from college I'm still in touch with once told me that she could tell right off the bat that there was something "different" about me that I had "special and unique problems," as she put it (yes those were her words -- English is not her first language, and her wording can be a tad unusual at times) She told me that she initially approached me for this reason, because she has an interest in psychology and sociology, and I seemed like I would be an interesting subject to study. She did tell me that she came to genuinely care about me as a friend not too long after that. After college, she spent a year working as a teaching assistant in a school for autistic children, and she told me that one of the children there reminded her of me.
A couple of years after that, I was working at a preschool for children with significant special needs, and I got into a conversation with a teacher there. We started talking about what attracted us to the field of special education, and she asked if I had been in special education classes as a child. I was on an IEP as a child, and I did receive resource room, but I was always in general education. Of course, I didn't tell her all of this. I just said that, no I hadn't. I just thought it was interesting that she asked if I'd been in special education when I'd never said anything that would indicate that.
That's not the only time I've been asked about that. I worked for a tutoring agency at one point, tutoring students in their homes after school. I only had really issues with two of my students, these two twin boys in middle school. They hassled me and insulted me incessantly, calling me weird, then getting upset when I would respond to being told I was weird by saying, "I already know that," before returning to the subject matter.
One of the boys actually asked, "Are you special ed?" while his brother snickered in the background. They would mimic the awkward way I moved my arm when turning the page in a workbook. I was a grown woman getting bullied by twelve year olds.
Another time, I took this assertiveness training course in hopes that it would improve my ability to present a strong, firm image to the children I worked with, and also improve my ability to deal with difficult coworkers. The course was pretty much useless since it was nearly all worksheet exercises and we didn't apply any of it until the last class when we did some role playing exercises. I had a little trouble, but with prompting, I managed to semi-assert myself during this exercise. Following the class, I walked part of the way home with some of the other students in the class and the teacher, as was habit, as we were all walking the same way. The teacher was talking about the roleplaying exercises, and how well they had gone, that "Even 'OuterBoroughGirl' had some success with it." Even me??
I'm not currently in a relationship, however, I have had relationships in the past. My last relationship lasted roughly two years and three months, and was pretty serious for a while. Referring to that last relationship, a coworker once bemoaned her lack of a love life by loudly proclaiming, "Even 'OuterBoroughGirl' has a boyfriend, yet I don't!" Again, WTF??
Additionally, I work at a preschool as a "floater teacher," filling in when teachers are out or on leave, and providing breaks and prep time when no one is out. I was told early on by a veteran staff member that teachers hired in my position were usually given their own classroom pretty quickly, since whenever there was a vacancy, they were always inclined to promote from within before interviewing people from the outside. It's been more than a year and a half since I started. In that time, there have been several vacancies. All of them were filled by people from the outside, and it never occurred to anyone to offer *me* any of those classrooms. Additionally the children I work with are fond of me, and treat me with affection, yet they don't regard me with the same level of respect as other staff, and often don't follow my instructions.
I could give more examples, but I think the point is made. Anyone who scaled this wall of text is more than equipped to accurately answer the question, "Do people somehow know OuterBoroughGirl is different?"
Before I make my long-overdue exit from this thread, let me just add that I act as neurotypical as I'm capable of acting, that I really make an effort to "pass." Apparently, if passing is my goal, I have quite a ways to go.