Tired of being told I'm wrong.

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A smile in return when I smile to them. Maybe something more significant than a grunt when I make a comment about something like the weather or something nearby. It would also be nice if people didn't seem to go from extremely friendly to the other people talking to them to dead silent and seemingly annoyed when I try to joke around with them. Just in general not acting like I'm doing something wrong by being social.

And back down. We had a good conversation and she turned out to be a pretty cool person. Talked for about six hours. Figured I had found myself an actual friend. ( Which made me feel really good because as of around February of last year, I lost the last person I could confide in and "vent" to without having to worry about being misunderstood. I really hit the wall when she told me never to talk to her again. ) So I had my hopes up that I had finally found somebody else to listen to and talk to in return.

Until tonight. She had said she was mad at her "ex", who I assumed was the jerk boyfriend from a few nights before that she was upset with. Not so. The jerk from a few nights ago is her new boyfriend, and he does not like me talking to his girlfriend. And tonight the two of them got engaged. So there goes that little ray of sunshine. Every bit of comfort I had in thinking I had made an actual friend just got ripped up and stomped on.

This is actually the fifth time this has happened with a girl online. Her as*hole boyfriend tells me to beat it. And I can't tell him to blow off because I'm not angling for a girlfriend, just looking for good friends. And therefore do not offer the girl the benefits that the real life as*hole boyfriend offers. She's not going to chose random stranger online over real life relationships. And that is understandable. But I am sick of this.

I wish I could get rid of my emotions. I'm tired of feeling knots inside when I am rejected and just wanting to just run away from everything, because I don't have anywhere to go.

stop being wrong then

Super insightful and helpful reply.

So, another year, another failure. I get insulted and this thread dies. Other people talk about their problems and people keep posting replies. There's never any explanation. You people hate me. Everybody hates me. I dare to complain that I have no answers, and say that I have tried other solutions before and they don't fit. I am human refuse.

I would talk about being near suicidal again, but it wouldn't matter. People would read that and say I'm trying to get attention. I'm such a rotten human. My life is so perfect and I'm so selfish that I'd pretend to be miserable to get pity from strangers on the internet.

I'm losing my mind. I thought I made friends again but it turns out I was just being used. They had no respect for me either, and while I'd bend over backwards to help them, they would reply by only acknowledging me when nobody more interesting was around, and then insulting me by calling me ugly, weak, and useless when their friends showed up.

I stayed because nobody gives a damn about me. Being treated like a person one eighth of the time is better than never, right?

But they took it too far, made it clear I was nothing to them, so I am alone again. And people think I am faking it all. They think I am manipulative. That I do this all the time and get what I want, and they are too clever to fall for it, so I am left ignored and alone when I try to ask for help.

If people talk to me I grow attached because I'm starved for attention. And people hate that. So it gets worse every day. Nobody cares, and nobody is going to care. I'm always "emo", and the next person is "in a bad time", so I watch them find support while I rot.

I'm cursed with the fact I post with a lot of words, but have no skill in explaining anything. I made those fake friends angry with that same issue, too. An alpha male wannabe got involved and everything went to hell. He wanted to prove he was superior to me and did so with the greatest of ease. I went from trash to less than trash.

No reason to keep posting. I'm too scary to reply to, to illogical to reason with, too useless to worry over. Nothing I can say or ever do will convince anyone that I'm not lying. Want to just end it, but I'm a coward. Going to hope a fire breaks out and kills me in my sleep or something.

Can a board mod ban me so I won't be tempted to come back and post later?

Ignore this troll, Axel.

You're living hell is pretty much the same as mine. People have given me plenty reason why I don't want to work, go to school, or even go to social events anymore. In fact I refuse to leave the house these days unless it's for myself because I know there will be someone out there to put me down.

And I can't believe your mother would treat you like that but she probably has this expectation you could be a successful person like Mark Zuckerberg but just aren't trying. That's how my family is always is with me. Family, friends, and coworkers have always made cruel insensitive jokes about me in my face. My friends in college were real hypocrites, always getting on me for my treatment of them and demanded I apologize but were giving me the same treatment without caring when I was offended. They developed the immature concept of justifying cruel actions and it makes me sick really especially when they talk about what great people they think they are.

I've already reached the point of no longer caring and I refuse to apply for work anymore because I refuse to go out there and get crapped on for something out of the blue that's a major deal for people than it should be. It made me want to be alone and isolated so I dont have to deal with these jerks anymore. If only I can get away from my family I would be content. My only other option now is to try winning the lottery. It would be a quick way to make money and it would be better than making billions off of the cruelty and internet abuse of Facebook users the way Mark Zuckerberg does. ha