deleted my (former) best friend from facebook

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I deleted my entire facebook. Five times.

Just wondering, what are you supposed to do if someone tells you they're suicidal online?

There's actually a thread on this somewhere in the Haven where we discussed various ideas. Unfortunately it's not stickied so you'll to dig for it...I tried to dig through the past 7 pages myself but no dice.

Thanks Raised; I remember that thread. I don't think a conclusion was ever reached.

I know you see it as a betrayal, but I think in the same situation, if I cared about someone, I might have done what your friend did; going to the police or calling an ambulance would be too extreme, but stuff like suicide threats are too serious for one person to handle alone; parents would seem to be the middle ground.

The thing was however I was really expecting her to call me if she was that concerned but she never did. I was more baffled by the fact that she managed to somehow contacted my parents without knowing who they were or what my home phone # even was! I only put my cell phone # on my FB profile (back when I had Facebook that is). I dont understand her reasoning as to why she went straight to my parents without even bothering to call me first because I was out of my suicidal phase by the end of that day when I sent her the AIM. She didn't get that I was more upset by our lack of communication. I do agree that suicide is extreme stuff that you can't just leave alone. I just wish that my friend did more for me as a friend than just be a suicide prevention counselor when I was in that mood.

I've been in a similar situation, but in your friend's position. Whilst I don't know the ins and outs of your situation, I can perhaps offer one explanation of why she acted this way.

She may have known that you were expecting her to call. Quite often (though by no means always!) that is why people threaten suicide, especially to exes or former friends. If you are in the friend's situation, you can respond to it in three ways; be at someone's beck and call everytime he or she threatens to harm themselves (or so it feels), ignore them and block them, or call their bluff/ call someone who can and wants to deal with the situation (aka the police or family).

I don't mean to be rude; it must have been awkard at any rate, and a bit humiliating to find out she'd been chatting with your dad behind your back, but I really would advise only telling someone you are thinking of killing yourself if you are prepared for them to try and act on it. If you just want a phonecall, tell them that instead and then maybe mention the thoughts (still be prepared for them to take action; it's a very serious threat). I know you wanted her to act as a friend, not a counsellor, but you describe her as an 'ex friend' and that she 'ditched' you before the AIM, so maybe she didn't want to be in that role anymore?

Sorry, I don't mean to give you the third degree or sound as if I'm telling you off; I'm just really curious because as I've said, I was in a similar (reversed) situation in the past. Feel free to tell me to mind my own beeswax if you want!

^ Nah it's fine. Besides, she seemed have way too many issues with her own self that seem to occupy her own life ahead of everything else. Which is a bit ironic to me. If you knew her in person you would think that she would never seem like the type but I'm willing to accept the idea that I probably got on her nerves to the point where she didn't want to socialize with me like a real friend anymore. I just wish that she would just tell me that instead of yanking my chain.

BrianRuns...sorry if we took the thread away from you.

Cool, thanks for the explanation. Yeah, life would be way easier if people were more direct.




my fault, sorry BrianRuns!

I've found that being the active person in a one-sided friendship is much more infuriating to me than to other people I know. I've started just letting go of these friendships, because if the other person can't be bothered to put forth the effort to act like a friend and stay in contact, why should I? You were absolutely right to delete him.

It's a two way street. Both have to make an effort to care that each other even exist. Sometimes it's honestly not intentional. You're not blatantly ignoring somebody, you just can't get out of your own head, due to a mental addiction involving non-stop bad thoughts, entitled 'Feeding the Negative." In my view, if we can lose that, and focus a lot on others or whatever we're doing at the moment, we'll be better off.

I had my highschool best friend delete me completely one day out of nowhere, screw him then.

That's happened to me several times. I just stopped caring. Facebook is taken so unbelievably seriously these days. Life is better for people without it. (If more people quit Facebook it would at least decrease the amt of bullycide going on these days.)