Im not going to pretend to be normal anymore.

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Th first problem is that pretending requires a tremendous effort, fatigue, frustration. The second even more serious is that, as you reach an old age, you realize that all your life ha been a fake, a fraud, a continuous acting, total unredeemable emptyness .
Read "Good old Neon" by David F. Wallace.

Thats the thing. One one hand I am glad I have learned some social skills, but on the other hand, my personality itself wont change. I am less likely to make all the little small gaffes I used to, but every once in a while I will be blindsided by a big gaffe which just blows every good thing I have said out of the water. So it is confusing, what to do... I guess I need to just remember that I will never be an NT on the inside.

When I pretended to be normal I got nothing but a bad name for myself. I'm glad to be myself now, it was so exhausting pretending.

Yeah after a huge break down, I feel the same way.