I'm soo freaking stupid

Post Reply New Topic

Nick007 -

Ah, I know just what you mean about people taking problem-solving or explaining you're trying to do as being argumentative. It's happened to me quite a few times!

It sounds to me like these online things are just misunderstandings like you said they might be. I wouldn't put any stock in mean things anyone has said to you because everything you've said they said so far has no merit.

What is the comedy music, if you don't mind my asking? Is it anything like The Lonely Island's songs? (Andy Samberg and two other guys whose music videos are shown on Saturday Night Live?) They are pretty gross at times but I wouldn't call them offensive!

Don't feel too bad about being hypocritical! Everyone is in one way or another! It's hard to live by your own rules 100% of the time!

Nick007, I've had some ups and downs here in the forums too, and when I can put some distance between myself and what's going on, I can sometimes giggle at the fact that I'm surpised that website for people with primarily social deficits has some conflict once in a while. We're all trying to do and be the best we can, and nobody else can tell us that we aren't.

As for being called stupid and wondering what people mean by it, I hope you'll keep in mind that just like you may not be an artistic person, some people aren't good at using words. Language gets butchered and misused all the time, and definitions of any one word can vary from person to person. Next time someone calls you stupid (or anything else nasty), try to assume that their definition of stupid is "you're so unique and outside of my narrow range of experience that I can't even think of an appropriate word to describe you"

Your rite purchase about the online things being misunderstandings. The woman who I was debating with said that she feels like an a$$hole sometimes because I seem to be a generally nice guy but I am so extremely stupid she legitimately wants me dead so I would never reproduce. The ironic thing is that she called me a troll a few times; I never resorted to insults there. Kinda funny in a way & we're not speaking to each other rite now so that's good.
I think what your saying sandrana is that I could be interpreting what they are saying the wrong way which probably is what's going on. I really wish I could understand better not just because it causes problems for me but because I know it causes problems for others.
Another thing that really frustrates me is that I do not have the intellectual strengths that Aspies are kinda stereotyped to have. I am not good with computers, science, math, & I am NOT book-smart. When I mention AS to people who've heard of it a bit; they sometimes think that I might have these skills or strengths that I don't. I feel like I'm a failure even by Aspie standards as well as NTs. NO one here has made me feel like a failure but I felt like a failure most all my life. Only time I didn't was when I had someone who I really connected with. This is starting to sound depressing

I consider comedy music stuff that is meant to be funny. Weird Al Yankovic is the mainstream name that comes to mind but there's lots of others. Adam Sandler's music would is in that category. If your into comedy music I would recommend checking out The Funny Music Project. Called "The FuMP" for short~ TheFuMp.com

Hi Nick! Unfortunately my computer doesn't have sound now or I'd listen to things on that music project! Thanks for the recommendation!

I agree with sandrana that whenever someone calls you stupid it's because you're too unique for them to label. It's a very rude way of labelling you and only shows their ignorance, in my opinion. Don't worry that you're causing trouble for people. It seems like nobody is making an effort to meet you halfway and they're expecting you to do all the mental "walking" to the place they are sitting comfortably with a drink and snacks, if you know what I mean, and they can do this cause they have a commoner viewpoint, and you have a unique one.

Anyway, if people you feel you have a connection with make you feel better, and you know at least for sure that you have a connection with other people that like that kind of comedy music, any chance you could contact them somehow? Or are there any live shows you could go to that these comedians have?

Nick, I guess maybe it sounded that way, and it's true, that us aspies do have our share of challenges when it comes to communicating, but what I really meant is that NT's are really bad at things too..don't go feeling all inferior, because they're plenty flawed too! I know tons of NTs whose communication skills are worse than yours or mine. They use lazy language, and as a result, everything is 'stupid' or 'awesome' or whatever their favorite word is. Just because they do it with confidence doesn't mean it's right or true--just look at politicians!

It may take you a while to find your secret superpower, I think it's rare for anyone, aspie or not, to know right away what they're good at. It's discouraging, but keep an open mind. I found happiness as a volunteer, shovelling compost! I can do it all day (if I have the time) and it's a chance to be outside and hear the birds and feel the breeze and get some good physical work done.

I think Adam Sandler is a genius, btw,

I've seen it happen. A guy I worked with was constantly called stupid and criticized for every mistake to the point that he started to believe it and consequentially made more mistakes! These people would sometimes make very similar mistakes and nobody would mention it!

You've never come across as stupid (or any of those other negative things you mentioned in this thread) to me Nick, and it seems I am not alone in saying this.

I live in a rural area so getting out is kinda a problem for me.


Your very rite about that. I used to be kinda misanthropic because I thought NTs were morons who couldn't be individuals. I'm not as frustrated with others now.


I'm glad. Some of it could be this great community. I'm not exactly the same on every site. I guess I kinda adjust/adapt to the communities some.

I posted about this before on WP but I think meds made me less smart in some ways. I find it's a lot harder for me to type out post & understand things sometimes than it used to. It's kinda like my brain used to be ADHD & now it's stoned. I feel kinda guilty about spending 5 years on meds after a breakdown that I would of been better off without. I had the breakdown because I lost the one person in my life who I ever felt close to & connected with partly because I had issues with her doing drugs. I feel like I betrayed the straight-edge beliefs I tried to push on her. I feel like I am stupid because I should of stayed instead of letting things end like that. My mind would of been a little better because I would of avoided those hellish meds & I would of had a connection with someone.

Nick, I'm sorry about your loss, I also had someone who I felt really connected to (my mom) and my life is definitely a sadder place without her.

Our brains are funny old things, and medication can hurt us or help us, depending on drug interactions, dosages, finding the right meds, etc. My difficulties with AS are fairly mild, so I don't have to worry about being on meds. I'm on vacation now (for a whole 4 days) and am amazed at how something as simple as being on vacation can change the way I feel inside my own head. I was up at the crack of dawn, dressed, ate breakfast, and am now raring to get out and look around the city (usually can't fall asleep, then can't wake up, don't eat breakfast, etc etc). I feel positive and chatty...and I realize that a great thing about being on vacation is that it gives me a chance to break out of the ho-hum routine, learn a little, do some neat stuff, and then return to the ho-hum with a slightly improved attitude.

I wish you all the best, I know things get difficult, and I'm glad that the forums are as helpful to you as they are to me, it can be a real boost to know that we're not alone.

I'm sorry about your mom sandrana.

I think my AS difficulties are pretty sever sometimes; it may not be just the AS but a combination of everything. Medication made things a lot worse for me & it seems there isn't really anything else that can be done. I just have to deal best I can.

I'm glad you enjoyed your vacation. You need to take a break sometimes. When I was working; I was working 55 hours a week when they let me because they were shorthanded. I pushed myself to hard & when things got very difficult because of extremely bad management problems; I had to suddenly quit because I couldn't deal with it anymore. I think part of the rezone I pushed myself so hard is because of a good work ethic & sense of loyalty; I'm a hard-core ISTJ personality. Working was kinda a distraction for me. I have bad OCD & when I wasn't working; I would think about my problems in the past & depression & stuff obsessively. I also had limitations with certain things & I tried to compensate for em by being reliable & giving it my all. It's like that with other things in my life as well. I sometimes push myself too hard with things because I'm trying to compensate for my limitations & things eventually blow-up in my face & it causes problems for my family. I feel really bad about things & the more I try to improve things; the worse things get. I feel like a huge screw-up & failure in life which makes me feel more stupid. I think the phrase Learned Helplessness is a major problem for me

no one is ever dumb or stupid they just lack certain information at that specific time period. You can always improve your knowledge. What criteria states who is smart anyway? If someone is dumb or stupid, then everyone is dumb or stupid because we do not know everything. There is always a higher intelligence laughing at you, no matter who YOU are.