Heard any good jokes lately? Anyone? Please?

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Hey blueroses. I hope you're feeling better. So many folks are struggling with uncertainty and anxiety these days, it's tough out there. I'm just getting by on a day to day basis myself. Anyway........ Here is another CW video you might enjoy., I just can't get enough of it. It's Christopher at his creepy cool, wonderfully weird, best

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ7z57qrZU8&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Yeah, he is pretty fabulous, isn't he?

You know, I think "getting by on a day to day basis" is actually something I need to work on; it's when I start thinking about the Future and its uncertainties that I freak out a bit. I am feeling a bit better, though, for what it's worth--thanks. I mean, no circumstances have really changed at all, but I think I'm just dealing with them a little better as they are than I was a few weeks ago. Thanks again.

I am a joker on demand.

PM me.

Thanks, Face of Boo. I appreciate it.

You're welcome, I don't accept Paypal, only Visa or Master Card.

Do you want me to send you my quotation?

Aloha - fair maiden of WP

Just wanted to check in on blueroses, I worry about you at times.

It's unfortunate that you don't live a little closer because then you could stop by and give me a hand with my garden. And then I might try to talk you into cooking up a batch of your famous chicken while I cooked up some fresh veggies on the grill. I smoked some potatoes on my grill the other day using mesquite chips and they were fantastic , if I don't say so myself.

And then we could have a nice meal on my back patio - it would be nice

But as fate would have it you are 3000 miles away, that's over 16 million feet, if you were curious about that, though I'm pretty sure you weren't.

Anyway - I'm up to my ears in summer squash. I generally eat it grilled or steamed. I was hoping that you could give me some ideas on what else I could do with it - Help!

Last edited by DigitalDesperado on 25 Jun 2011, 10:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

How about some bad puns?

If you jump off a bridge in Paris you are in Seine.

I renamed my ipod to Titanic. It is syncing now.

How to console someone who believed in th May 21st rapture? "It's not the end of the world!"

After WW2, Russia did not recover quickly. It kept Stalin around.

Lol, thanks, LostInEmulation.

I'm okay; I just hit rough patches from time to time. Thanks, though.



You know, I usually eat it grilled or steamed myself. But, I guess you could always make a soup from it, if you happen to have an immersion blender or food processor.

Mr.Beans was once running after the thief......and finally he won the 'race'.

I never thought of making soup, I just might give that a try. I don't have a good blender so I'll have to be creative, maybe a power tool of some kind.

Speaking of blenders, if you ever are in the mood too see something silly and that will make you giggle in amazement, search You Tube for - will it blend? - and watch what a Blendtec blender can do

Hey, anyone know this one? : What do you call a country full of rose-colored automobiles?

No, what do you call it?

Did you hear the one about the racist necromancer?

He would only raise wights.

I heard this one from an engineer - I'm sure you could replace the job titles with anything you wanted.

Three engineers and three physicists are traveling to a convention by train. First, the physicists go up to the ticket window and say "three tickets, please." They pay for their tickets and step aside. Next, the engineers go to the window and say "one ticket, please." They pay and are about to get on the train when the physicists stop them and ask how they expect to travel with only one ticket between the three of them. The engineers simply smile and say, "you'll see."

The six of them get on the train and settle in. A short ways into the journey, they see the ticket inspector coming down their car. The three engineers stand up and excuse themselves, then all pack themselves into the tiny toilet at the end of the car. The physicists show their tickets, and then watch as the inspector gets to the toilet, knocks on the door, and says, "ticket, please." One of the engineers opens the door a tiny bit and holds out the ticket. The inspector marks it and continues on his way.

The physicists are amazed at the genius of this plan. After their conference, when it is time to head back home, they go to the ticket window and buy a single ticket for all three of them. The engineers, however, don't buy any tickets at all. The physicists stop them again and ask how they expect to get away with traveling without a ticket, and the engineers all smile again and say, "you'll see."

Once again, the group sees the ticket inspector enter the car. The three physicists, feeling very clever indeed, all pack themselves into the toilet as they had seen the engineers do earlier. As soon as the door is closed, however, one of the engineers gets up and goes to the toilet door. He knocks and, disguising his voice, says, "ticket, please."

And a blond joke to round things out:

A bond, a brunette, and a redhead are all out for a hike in the woods. Unfortunately, they get very lost. They spend hours trying to find their way back to civilization, but with no luck. As the sun starts to set and the wild animals start to make unfamiliar sounds in the twilight, the frightened group is relieved to spot a farm a short distance away through the trees. Around the border of the property are signs saying "WARNING: TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT." But they are too scared and tired to go any further, so they agree to creep onto the farm, sleep in the barn, then get up early and follow the road home before the farmer sees them there.

The lights are off in the farmhouse and they creep as silently as possible towards the barn. Nearly there, the blond steps on a stick with a loud CRACK! A light comes on in the farmhouse, and the three run into the barn to look for a place to hide.

The redneck farmer, annoyed at having been woken up and eager to punish the trespasser, grabs his shotgun and storms out to the barn. He turns on the light and has a look around. The animals are calm and quiet, and nothing seems out of place. He's about to give up and go back inside when he notices movement out of the corner of his eye: on the floor in the back of the barn are three large potato sacks with something wriggling around inside them!

He approaches the first sack, in which the brunette is hiding, pokes it with the butt of his gun, and hears, "meow! meow!" He pulls away, unconcerned, grumbling to himself, "Ah, that's just one o' them sacks o' kittens." He moves on to the next sack, in which the redhead is hiding, and pokes that one with the butt of his gun as well. In response he hears, "woof! woof!" and nods his head knowingly. "Ah," he says, "that's just another sack o' puppies." Finally, to put his mind at ease, he reaches over to the third and final sack, in which the blond is hiding. He gives it a good jab with the butt of his gun and hears, "Potato!"

omg...I could hardly find my way back to answer the below:

Hey, anyone know this one? : What do you call a country full of rose-colored automobiles?

A pink CARnation! Ha! Ha!Ha!