I'm not sure if I can handle living this life anymore:(

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I dunno how to take that. Is that a compliment or an insult?

A compliment.
Sorry, i have a twisted sense of humour.
I'm not completely heartless, and i certainly don't take pleasure from 'laughing at' your situation.
However, i do see a lot of humour in your posts, eg. the 'top 3 things to do with girls' thread.
You must admit there's some comedy value in there.

Snake

Your dream of an autistic nation has come up in a lot of threads. I guess here is as good a place as any to bring it up again.

You are talking about making a major change in world history. Major changes in world history have happened, but they have always been incredibly difficult for the people who made them happen.

You might want to take a look at the early history of zionism. I'm not an expert, but I know the general outline of the story. The idea of a jewish nation was around for a long time before the nation of Israel came into existence. A lot of jews thought the idea was ridiculous. The people who worked to create a jewish nation were often ridiculed as crakpots by their own people. A lot of them died thinking no progress had been made. Some of them started building the nation on their own, creating jewish communities in palestine, experimenting with different systems of organization to learn how a jewish nation could actually be made to work in the real world.

The nazis gave zionism a huge boost, but persecution was an old problem, and there is no way of knowing how things would be working out if the nazis had never come to power. There have always been very strong differences among zionists about what they should be trying to accomplish, and how to go about it. During the 1948 Israeli war of independence, the jews had three separate armies operating. Cooperation was difficult, and they sometimes fought against each other.

After centuries of oppression of blacks in the western hemisphere, the civil rights movement made fundamental changes in race relations in the United States. It wasn't simple and it didn't happen fast. Many blacks were convinced that things could never change, and that the people who were working and fighting for change were making their problems worse. A number of blacks have believed that a better solution would be for blacks to increase their separation from other races. The only attempt at a freed slave nation, Liberia, has turned out to be a disaster, but that doesn't mean another approach to black sovereignty couldn't work. I don't know the future.

The people who have influenced world history were often people like you, not so much like the George Washington caricature in the school history books. Yeats wrote about the Wild Geese, irish nationalists who traveled the world, fighting the british:

Yet, could we turn the years again
And call those exiles as they were
In all their loneliness and pain,
You'd cry, "Some woman's yellow hair
Has maddened every mother's son."

Loren Eiseley blew apart the standard view of how vertebrates first took to life on land. Fish normally stay in the water, it's what they're adapted to. The ones that came ashore were those fish failures that were driven to the very fringes of the aquatic environment, and most of them died. A few managed to survive. He summarizes:

"It was not the proud march through the breakers and up the cliffs we so fondly like to imagine. It was a desperate journey made in suffocation and terror."

It's a rough game you've chosen to play. Expect self doubt and disappointment. Nobody knows how it will turn out, but history has pulled unlikely surprises before.

Snake, don't give up. Please! We all love you.

I'm studying the zion movement... Activist-wise, I believe honestly we need a format closer to that of Malcom X. He put the fear of bejesus into his oppressors, and because of that he gained their respect, thereby making life easier for his people. The flower child whiney pacifist computer-screen-activist stuff isn't gonna make anyone listen, they'll just laugh and call us whiney b*****s. Now, I'm not supporting terrorism or anything of that nature. However, I may support an autistic defensive militia in the US, similar to the black panthers movement.
I think I plan on starting off with protests against pre natal testing and the defamation of our peoples name by the media and organizations such as CAN and the Autism Society, marches to the white house, working on plans to start off establishing aspie housing projects, by and for aspies, and by establishing our own businesses.... If these businesses create enough revenue, some of the savings can go into a treasury... Over many years if the treasury gets big enough maybe some day we'll have our invisioned land.
Honestly, I hate the idea of seperation, but I don't think full integration is possible without it. Besides, any other nation in the world belongs to NTs, we should have atleast 1 place to call ours. Some NTs are welcome to become Aspergians too if it ever becomes established, if they contribute to our cause or if theyr with an aspie.
Above all, my goal is to stop the battering of my people. To make our lives better, more happy and fulfilled, prosperous.... And hopefully to bridge the gap between NT earth and AS earth. Right now I'm trying to gather more aspie warriors online to help reach out to other areas of the world... There is another aspie in the UK who I feel has the same dedication I do. Perhaps he can become my equivalent in Europe and run the European office. This will take time, sacrifice.... My blood, sweat, tears, my dreams, my life. But I refuse to quit.

The main reason I said I **might** get a defense militia going was because, I could imagine in neighborhood where aspies lived in our communities together, and were getting noticed and standing out, I don't doubt for a single moment some NTs somewhere will think it's comical to do something horrible to f**k with us. A strong and successful civil rights campaign will get alittle messy at some points, because your challenging a big part of the oppressor's biological hate mechanisms and their need to feel dominant over you. If I established a defensive organization, it would definately make them not feel as dominant, it'll take time for them to get used to it and accept it, and accept us as equals, over time if we keep raising our voices we'll get to paradise...... So it is written...... So it shall come to pass.

Ok I've had enough...... I'm not gonna say for sure because everytime i get ready to off myself some blind hope arises from somewhere, then lets me down. But I'm seriously thinking about buying that gun this week. Finally, will be no more tears in my life.

Bad idea. Dude...there is hope. It's just hard to find genuine hope. But there's always the possibility of happiness, but you always have to work hard for it when it comes. Sometimes that means doing some really terrifying things. Plus, if you off yourself then who's going to be the Aspie Malcolm X? I know that may sound weird for me to say, since I don't agree with the whole "Aspies vs. Nt's" viewpoint, but this is something that YOU believe in. You'd be letting yourself down if you shot yourself, man--you'd be betraying this dream of yours by giving into that feeling that most NT mainstream societies are so insistant on giving dissenters. You'd just be doing what the insensitive would want you to do: removing yourself, and your different viewpoint, from the gene pools--both the genetic gene pool and the gene pool of ideologies. At the very least you could publish a piece of writing on your ideas for an autistic community, putting them out there so as to influence other people and help them form ideas of their own.

I'm not against all NTs, just some of them.

I may have said something in an angry rambling somewhere that I didn't like NTs, but that's just me being frustrated as usual. I didn't mean that completely. The only ones I hate are the ones who make my life miserable. Which is alot of them, believe me. But there are a few good ones out there, and I know this..... I think more than anything I was upset about being judged and made to live a life I felt was little more than a slow bleeding death sentence.

you know its not just aspergers thats discriminated against. schizos, bipolars, clinicly depressed, they all have the same issues. maybe you should widen it to a community based on psychological equality, where people arent defined by their psychological state?

autistic people are dehumanised a lot more though..

and if your serious about blowing your brains out, you should talk to someone about that. you have some kind of counceler no?

While I support them in their struggles, every "group" has it's own obstacles, and as you said we are more dehumanized. Not belittling schizophrenics or anything, but it's too much to be able to take care of every group's issues.
Not that I wouldn't align with a cause for schizophrenics or whatever. Technically, they'd be like our cousins. But, theyr also not nearly **as** discriminated as aspies (not saying that people don't discriminate against them, but atleast they can live fully normal lives and not be completely shoved into a closet... Schizophrenics have broken alot of ground already in their fight, from institutionalization up till now).

Also, I would beg to differ that bipolars are severely put down by the majority. Bipolars, AD(H)D, are not looked down on, in fact we may even elect a US president who is bipolar or AD(H)D. It doesn't effect their ability to function regularly in society. Bipolars may have some issues, but theyr nobody's victim... (well maybe to a small extent they are). AD(H)D, is such a minor "disorder" that theyr not even put down to a small extent. And an AD(H)D person can relieve their "symptoms" with medication also. Theyr not really in any way defined by their symptoms.
As with autism, it is a disability but at the same time it's also an ability. I think the only reason it's a "disability" is because our world was set up around NT strengths and weaknesses (which initially you can't blame them for seeing as autism wasn't even noticed for so many years, and other nuero diversities were functioning fine in their system).

The ultimate reason why aspies are dehumanized is because of lack of relationships/intimacy. Yes, most of society does judge your value on how successful you are in those areas. Note this society is an heirarchy.

Snake – are you good with art or writing – your anger could be most beneficial for the arts – if you have no such talent – then you probably just haven’t found it – Could not some of the most successful artists and writers of the past have been aspies. Their lack of human intimacy may have driven them to fulfill it out on paper, sculpture or canvas. Getting into the arts may move you into circles of people who shared the same anxiety. Why would a normal person create a masterpiece when their mind revolves around the “common” human bond of experience – yes, the art is rooted deep beneath pain – when you uproot trees and shrubs, don’t your hands hurt and get dirtier as the roots fight back – where their the strongest. You’d be surprised how much we artists control the world of the normal – I decide what music they like – what TV or movies they watch – what tourist attractions they see or how they dress. I’m (the artist as a collective unit) tell my people what they can and can’t spend their money on – don’t believe me – the word Johnny Depp or Leonardo DeCaprio should answer that for you – did they not portray writers who were weird in films. Failure=’s a movement of creativity through turmoil.