How do I become the emotionless robot...

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I think most of this is true but it's possible that some people have some non-emotional impulse to "collect" knowledge. Or studying could have just become part of ones routine because their parents trained them to do it, maybe. I think the need for connection in itself exists within us because of emotions. In academia, this need doesn't seem useful, at least for us students. Profs don't seem to want students making any kind of connection with them. That's a pity because I learn best through engaging in in-person connections...

Well, the need or desire for social connection and emotional expression might be distracting for you as a student but you're going to school in order to prepare for a job, the job is what you'll be doing for the vast majority of your life and these needs will be fulfilled in and be useful for your career.

How do you go about getting these needs met? These are normal needs. People get these needs met in various ways or they become unhappy. Emotions are part of your experience. It is something your brain is wired to create in response to lived experience. They cannot be turned off. Perhaps what you label as "being an emotionless robot" is delayed expression of emotions. You do your homework and then you get to do something else that fulfills your need for self-expression.

I know that when I was in university, I was miserable. Even in high school, I was miserable, because it seemed like all my time went into doing homework. I couldn't imagine doing homework and having a life outside of doing homework. I had no clue how to fit other stuff in. I just tried to suppress my emotions and force myself to do the job at hand. It got so miserable that I eventually went the other way and gave up on my studies and got high and drunk and did what I wanted to do. I'm a very black and white person. Of course, I never contributed my difficulties to AS. I see it now only in hindsight. Other people seem to be able to balance all this s**t a whole easier than me because of the way my brain works.

To put it simply, I hate doing things that I don't want to do. It makes me miserable. It never gets any easier. Could it be possible that you have a similar problem? You resent having all this boring stuff forced on you by society and want to do your own thing, but society will not reward you for doing what you want to do?

Just be aware that after you complete college, if you are interested in clinical psychology, you'll have all the fun you want putting what you learned into action. You just have to make it through the hell of college in order to get the payoff. I just completed my psychology degree a couple of months ago. It feels so good now that the pressure is off.

There are plenty of people out there to help if that is what you enjoy doing. Find a population or problem you are passionate about and see if you can get experience volunteering or working before you graduate. That might make the hours you spend doing school work much more bearable, or at least remind you of why you are in college. The types of emotional connections you are talking about come when you are doing clinical work. It is a great feeling.

Last edited by em_tsuj on 14 Mar 2014, 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I truly feel like one day I won't be able to live with my emotions anymore and will just end it all. I am too sensitive and this is bad. My parents have always said it's bad. I don't know how to become otherwise. I have been treated in very disrespectful manner by a TA today and it ruined my whole day. I burst into tears in front of her and she didn't even show a single bit of compassion or concern for my emotional state. I tried to distract myself but now I spent only 5 minutes by myself (just went downstairs to take out garbage) and am crying again. I feel like I am being punished for simply wanting to learn. The university faculty don't know s**t about me. This is a f*****g hellhole. It's not helping me learn at all. I hate it so much.

They want my brains but not my soul. They can't get my brains without my f*****g soul. Screw them.

I'm sorry to hear that. I know how you feel. I hope things get better or you get to leave the situation you are in. Or you find somebody on staff there who is supportive and can help you get through this time emotionally.

Right...you are assuming that emotions are only needed to connect with another person/animal rather than objects. That is incorrect, because people can become quite attached to objects too. What attaches people to these objects? Emotions. What gives people the impulse to study? Emotions. The 'need' for study comes from emotions. With no emotions there is no meaning attached to these impulses to work.

When people have the impulse to study, they get upset if their work is interrupted. If they studied without emotion behind it, they would be quite happy whether they studied or not - which shows that their work has meaning and their emotions are drawn to that work rather than the people around them.

You could choose to learn how to suppress your emotions, totally turn them off so to speak. It can be done and does work. I have done it and fake the NT emotions in an attempt to fit in. Sometimes I get the cues wrong on what kind of emotion (if any) a particular situation warrants. Trouble is I have forgotten where the switch is and now I am totally devoid of emotions or caring about anything. But looking at my life it is not something I would recommend for most. Meltdowns can still occur and have on occasion. I keep those hidden away like the rest of the real me.

You will find people suck and don't care about your feelings. Or if they do they have a weird way of showing it. Others like to push those buttons once found and make them worse (the bullies). Find whatever diversion you can and focus on those instead of emotions that try to overwhelm you. Instead of dwelling on the NTs of this world that are so insensitive. They aren't worth torturing yourself over. Also, if that TA was so disrespectful I wouldn't hesitate reporting the individual to admin at that institution. TAs are by definition paid and there to help you, NOT hurt you!

Don't become an emotionless robot, just watch The Wall if you want to see where that sort of thing would get you.

You don't have to supress your emotions. You are an emotional person and trying to be someone that you aren't is generally regarded as a bad idea. It's perfectly acceptable to try to supress your emotions when being social, if you can get some alone time, just let it out. What's the worst that could happen? Put on some sad song, cry for a bit, return to normal. There's no shame in it.