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Sweetleaf
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04 Feb 2012, 5:31 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

Sweetleaf, you are one of our bright lights. You have engaged posts that often are really good.

So, one thing, I want you to be part of the coming Aspie Revolution

, where we take a page from gay rights, where it's okay for a person to be different, including in a way which matters. So, whereas today, at least in Houston, most people are accepting of gay persons, I hope down the road most people will be hip to a person being Aspie and be accepting.

Now, one of my standard talking points is that depression can also have biochem component and that it's hit or miss on which medication works. Okay, enough said. (brief . link) http://articles.latimes.com/2009/aug/03 ... ug-choice3

I hear you saying you want something now rather than down the road. First off, please try not to blame yourself for a crummy economy and for the fact that most corporations try and robotize their employees. First off, you may luck out and get a boss who's halfway reasonable.

Well i don't blame that on myself, and I doubt i will really be working for any major corporations in fact I can probably ensure that...but yeah it's possible I can find somewhere reasonable to work. It's just a matter of possibly not being able to find any part time work I am capable of. I just don't see what I could do about that.

You mention house cleaning. I am actually in favor of low-overhead service businesses, as part of a multiple track. That plus job hunting at the same time. And takes a while, and some people might expect more cleaning than reasonable for time and money.

Any chance in talking with your Mom with an advocate you know present? I mean, someone who can confirm that people on the spectrum do things in their own way and sometimes it takes a while.

Not sure what that would help, and my mom is not much help with any of it.

And longer term, I like the idea of re-ambitious dreams (and not buying into corporate superstructure).

For example, with medical, talking to patients in real way and arching across scientific subjects, that appeal to you? (I wish I knew how much I liked medicine when I was still in my 20s)

Or law, architecture, vet science?

Also none of those particularly catch my interest, and I don't know I am capable of getting a college degree. That is part of the reason I was ranting about PTSD the other day because its one of the reasons I fail at college. Maybe if I can find a technical school for something I am interested in I could do that....but obviously I still need to get some income first to afford that.

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Sweetleaf
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04 Feb 2012, 5:45 pm

Salome wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Salome wrote:

This is a tough subject! I'm not an expert and answering freaks me out a bit but I still feel I should say something. I think I know how you feel. I have always been ten years behind my peers when it comes to pretty much everything except personal growth and intelligence. Don't compare yourself to other people! You are just waisting energy that is better spent on more productive and positive things. Don't waist your energy on worrying about stuff that hasn't happened jet either.

I can understand completely that you don't want to be a burden to your friends and family and not be the one that never has any money. But quite frankly, if they care that you don't have money they are not good friends.

And finally, you are only twenty two there is still plenty of time to make changes in your life! I don't know how things work in your country but where I'm from you can start medical school when you're forty and no one cares really. And if they do well you just shrug it of and go anyway. You have the right to live your life the way you want to live it.

Just because you might have gotten sidetracked or for whatever reason are not where you want to be that doesn't mean that it's over.

Well first off thanks for responding, and it helps some just talking about it...but I just want to say ahead of time I'm frustrated so if that seems obvious in my typing it's not directed at you or anyone else who responds I just don't want anyone getting the wrong idea.

I just don't see what productive, positive things there are for me to spend energy on........it sucks but in order to really do anything i need some sort of income otherwise I have no transportation which means major difficulty in looking for work or even volunteer activities if I was so inclined, visiting friends and family, ect. I mean the bus is not the best as it is but at least its something, its certainly not free though its like 176$ for a monthly pass which I guess ends up cheaper then going without the pass but still it's a lot. I mean for obvious reasons it's very hard to survive if you're flat broke in this society and I am not sure if I could do it.

Also it's not that people would not care about me because I don't have money, it's more like I want to be able to hang out with these friends and also a really cool guy I recently met and have hung out with a few times...can't really do that if I cannot afford the bus pass.

Also that's just the thing for one I don't think I would be very good in the medical field at all, and also that's another thing that costs money I don't have, school.........and I am not playing the loan game anymore I probably owe more in student loans then I've ever seen in my life time so I have no desire to take anymore out. I just hope I don't end up with the IRS after me over it, as far as I know I can call the loan department and defer it but I am not sure how long they let you do that for. So basically in order to do anything that i need to do or would like to do I need some form of income and taking out more loans for school is not an option........I could not even handle 3 classes a semester at a community college. And in reality I should probably be trying to get on disability but that would take several months or even years and I simply cannot stretch out around $800 for that long so its honestly more desperation to find a job then anything even having a job would not guarantee anything because I tend to get fired easier then not.

But yeah its just a lot to deal with I guess.

Sorry I couldn't help.
I didn't mean that you should go to medical school I just used it as an example to illustrate that people start over all the time. I understand if you don't want to take an other student's loan. In my country it's free to go to school so I wouldn't have to borrow more than necessary for my living expenses.
Why can't you get disability?
Even if it takes months it might be worth waiting for, I mean you wont have to worry about money in the same way ever again. That is if it works as it does around here which of course it probably doesn't, sorry.
Then I guess the mental institutions don't work as around here either. Otherwise it might be a good idea. I was in one and that sped things up considerably! It didn't take long to get diagnosed and my disability. Now I have a state pension and don't ever have to work again if I don't want to. But then of course the money is not great. I get by though.
I don't know what to tell you. I understand that things must really suck and it makes it even harder to do things which makes everything suck even more. I really hope you find something soon!

Alright well it's alright, medical school is a good suggestion........just not so much for me, if the loan thing was not an issue I would probably be already trying to maybe find technical schools in some subject I like.

Also I am not sure if I can get disability or not, I mean I have AS(or at least all the nessisary symtoms), Major Depression, Anxiety and PTSD so there is no real reason I should not be able to get on it. Other then I'm not exactly doing well financially and never really have been so I don't have a bunch of records from various mental health professionals.......no one even bothered to check on my mental health until I attempted suicide at the age of 15 and all I have to show for that is some counseling......So I don't have a lot of the necessary documents they would want to approve me as not a whole lot has been made official due to lack of resources.

Also it does not matter if I think it would be worth waiting.......its a matter of not having that option also realistically it might not be worth waiting especially if I did get luck and find a part time job I can function well enough at because its not as though they give you a whole lot when you're on disability at least not here in the U.S.

I imagine if I ended up in a psych ward that would probably get me a diagnoses, I just would prefer not to go that route.....because I don't want them to determine I'm incompetent or anything and then refuse to let me leave for some ridiculous amount of time or something weird like that. But yeah I'm working on trying to figure things out.......uhh just so much to deal with.

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Salome
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04 Feb 2012, 5:58 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

Salome wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Salome wrote:

Sometimes I'm sooooo happy to be Swedish! I've often complained about things around here and lord knows they are not perfect but oh so much better than the states.
I don't have any other suggestions. But I want you to know that I'm cheering for you.

AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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04 Feb 2012, 7:31 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

. . . I would like to work at a head shop, possibly a no kill animal shelter because I could not deal with working in one that kills animals that aren't adopted in time, maybe a liquor store or a brewery would be cool but I probably need more experience and maybe a bit of education for that.

Some of those might well pan out, or maybe branching out. Say a micro-brewery restaurant. About ten years ago I worked at California Pizza Kitchen which was a pretty well-run outfit, but the manager was not a very reasonable individual. So there's always that random aspect. Perhaps a hookah bar.

Or, recreational marijuana is going to be on the ballot in Washington State and one other state, maybe California again. Plus, other states might be doing medicinal marijuana. (I support de-criminalizing and adults having the right to choose. Of course, not everyone agrees with me.)

Most of this work would probably be collecting signatures for petitions, and I have heard stories of political work being so disorganized that people are slow in getting paid.

Don't know if any of these appeal to you. Just pitching some ideas.

marshall
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04 Feb 2012, 9:10 pm

Salome wrote:

Yea. The US is in the barbaric stone age as far as healthcare is concerned. It's a massive catch-22 if you have an illness that prevents you from working as in most cases you have to have a job to even have access to healthcare. But the selfish as*holes who inhabit this country will always throw temper tantrums if anyone dares to even attempt to improve the system.

Sweetleaf
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04 Feb 2012, 9:23 pm

It's all ridiculously hopeless....

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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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06 Feb 2012, 1:13 pm

Sweetleaf, I really encourage you to continue to be open to drawing inspiration from experiments which help the broader community, many of which won't work, but a goodly number will work.

For example, your posts got me thinking just how much a trap student loans are. Now, I should have been able to figure this out on my own. But personal accounts, the parts people feel comfortable sharing, do make a difference.

Sweetleaf
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06 Feb 2012, 3:59 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

I am not entirely sure what you mean, I certainly do not feel very inspired at all.....I just tend to think too much so I figure things out, regardless of if I would be happier if I could remain ignorant of these things.

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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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06 Feb 2012, 4:42 pm

I'm might be kind of that way. I do over-think. Now, here on WP I think it plays to strength. As it would if someone was an entrepreneur, a film director, a drug researcher, etc, and most of the really good jobs.

As far as the typical jobs like in sales, yes, I do think it works against a person.

Sweetleaf
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06 Feb 2012, 5:04 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

Well college is kinda out so I don't see how I will get one of the really good jobs.

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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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06 Feb 2012, 5:26 pm

If you could game college out to a level, maybe pre-studying and knowing with reasonable probability which classes you'll do well in . . .

. . . would that make it worth deferring current student loans and taking out more?

---------

PS And I really hope with the coming Aspie Civil Rights Movement, 'normal' will no longer be defined so narrowly. :bigsmurf:

Sweetleaf
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06 Feb 2012, 5:59 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

Well maybe I could have made it in college if I didn't have PTSD......that's what f*cked up my ability to keep up with reading and research to write essays and such. But maybe it's for the better, after all its probably better to have dropped out when I did then have gotten a degree and then found out that due to my limited social abilities it hardly matters if I have a degree or not. Not to mention everything feels so pointless I just don't have the motivation to keep pushing myself to do something I only fail at.

The loans aren't worth it when I already know I'm going to fail, I already have twice.....for the same freaking reason.

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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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06 Feb 2012, 6:31 pm

Okay, that is some serious stuff. I probably don't have PTSD, but struggle all the same with getting the reading down on time, at least according to my standards and that probably doesn't help things.

And you're right, if it's getting an English degree, still not getting a job, ending up with more student debt, that's not much of a solution.

About longer term jobs, what about the possible of studying to be a vet tech? And then, if you like it, and you're still a young person, second phase of full-fledged veterinary school?

PS In a way, I do wish I was 22 again! But then in a way, I don't. It's a hard age because the world is not near as open as it should be.

Sweetleaf
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06 Feb 2012, 6:53 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

I just have no intrest in treating sick injured/animals or people for a living......I am sure that is not a bad suggestion but that sort of thing is pretty depressing and I'm already depressed enough as it is.

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Ann2011
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06 Feb 2012, 7:33 pm

The only reason is you. Nothing the world offers is going to fulfill you ... at least not from what I've experienced. The world does not have a lot to offer. Personally I think it's a matter of a hundred years before we wipe out all biological life.
But you are here now. Make the best of it and do the best for the people you owe. All you have is yourself.

Sweetleaf
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06 Feb 2012, 7:35 pm

Ann2011 wrote:

There is nothing all that good about me though...so that does not feel like much of a reason.

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