Society makes me sick

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26 Apr 2012, 8:01 am

You haven't been to that free mental health place yet? Why not? I know it's difficult but you really should go. It may be that in the end they can't offer you anything but it's got to be worth a try.

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Sweetleaf
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26 Apr 2012, 9:19 am

YellowBanana wrote:

You haven't been to that free mental health place yet? Why not? I know it's difficult but you really should go. It may be that in the end they can't offer you anything but it's got to be worth a try.

No, I haven't, I guess I should....I mean the worst that would happen is they might not be able to help with anything.

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EstimatedProphet
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26 Apr 2012, 12:32 pm

I was just having a conversation with a friend of mine about society. He gave me some advice that I'm not sure I want to follow, but I'll go ahead and pass it on in case it might help you: Embrace the idiocracy, because it's lonely at the top.

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Sweetleaf
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26 Apr 2012, 12:36 pm

EstimatedProphet wrote:

Hmm not quite sure what that means...I'll have to think about that one for a while I guess.

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EstimatedProphet
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26 Apr 2012, 12:38 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

EstimatedProphet wrote:

Hmm not quite sure what that means...I'll have to think about that one for a while I guess.

It just means to embrace all the stupidity of society instead of taking the moral/logical high ground, because you won't find many people up there with you.

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Freak-Z
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26 Apr 2012, 2:03 pm

EstimatedProphet wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

EstimatedProphet wrote:

Hmm not quite sure what that means...I'll have to think about that one for a while I guess.

It just means to embrace all the stupidity of society instead of taking the moral/logical high ground, because you won't find many people up there with you.

I would rather take the moral high ground.

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26 Apr 2012, 2:12 pm

EstimatedProphet wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

EstimatedProphet wrote:

Hmm not quite sure what that means...I'll have to think about that one for a while I guess.

It just means to embrace all the stupidity of society instead of taking the moral/logical high ground, because you won't find many people up there with you.

Well then to be honest that does not really help me, but yeah it does get lonely hence part of the reason I have a lot of psychological pain to deal with. But yeah don't even know how I would go about becoming a sheeple, I can't erase what i know and think about things.

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26 Apr 2012, 2:14 pm

Freak-Z wrote:

EstimatedProphet wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

EstimatedProphet wrote:

Hmm not quite sure what that means...I'll have to think about that one for a while I guess.

It just means to embrace all the stupidity of society instead of taking the moral/logical high ground, because you won't find many people up there with you.

I would rather take the moral high ground.

that to.

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EstimatedProphet
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26 Apr 2012, 2:21 pm

Yeah, I'm still sitting up here mostly by myself. I don't want to take his advice, but it seems to be working for him. He recently dived head first into the shallow end of the pool and he's happier than I've seen him in a long time. I'll stick it out up here on top until I can't take it anymore. If it ever gets to the point that my only options are suicide or follow the herd, I guess I'll at least try following them for a little while.

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Sweetleaf
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26 Apr 2012, 2:46 pm

EstimatedProphet wrote:

I already feel like I can't take it anymore...much of the time, but I cannot follow the herd(even if I tried) and I have attempted suicide, and have considered it more than once since that. But its mostly just because I want the pain to end, not because I think it would be wonderful to die or anything(and maybe it is, but who knows, no one knows what happens until they do die, but it could also suck). Luckily I know of some other ways to decrease the pain besides suicide not that all those are healthy.

but thanks for posting, seems like you can see where I'm coming from...and that alone can be helpful, but its common to be misunderstood by the majority who might not even understand why this society would possibly make anyone unhappy.

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EstimatedProphet
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26 Apr 2012, 4:09 pm

I've tried a few times, but luckily I got found or something else happened to stop it ever time. After the second time I went to the ER they locked me up in the psych ward for the weekend. Once I got out I told myself I'd wait it out until 30, but I think I've mostly given up on suicide at this point. I tell myself that at least. I honestly don't know what I'd do if it weren't for weed, though. It's the only thing that's really ever helped to keep the suicidal thoughts at bay. Before the depression and suicidal ideation started you could've never convinced me that I'd end up doing drugs of any sort.

And there's me going off on some tangent like I tend to do. Alright, back to what I meant to say: It's definitely a hard thing to deal with, but I feel like it gets easier as time goes on. You've just got to realize that you're going to have to deal with a lot of BS to get to a comfortable spot in life. You may not even see it on the horizon, but you've just got to have some faith and wait it out. Surround yourself with understanding people, do what makes you happy, and be the best person you can and it's damn near inevitable that you'll find a nice comfortable spot for you to be you. Just remember that nothing worth having ever comes easy. You've got to work hard at it, but I'd say it's worth it. I like to think that once I get there it'll be more than what the average person thinks of as happiness because of the obstacles I've had to overcome to get there.

I feel like I started going off on another tangent there. Anyway, try to cheer up. It may not seem like it, but there are people in the world that care about you and want you to stay here. I wish nobody had to go through what I've gone through, but it happens and I sympathize and hope things get better.

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Sweetleaf
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26 Apr 2012, 4:52 pm

EstimatedProphet wrote:

Yeah cannabis helps with the depression and anxiety, or at least decreases it some...but I've been depressed for as long as I can remember.......and when I was younger I didn't think it was likely I'd ever use any drugs but it did not turn out way. But yeah I have been dealing with a lot of BS my entire life, so I guess it gets frustrating and it's hard not to get burnt out on it. I mean sometimes it just seems pointless....and at times it seems the harder I work on anything, the worse things become I mean I don't expect things to be easy it would just be nice if everything didn't have to be so difficult. But yeah all I really can do is keep trying to figure out something to do in life.

And I know there are people who care and all, but that only helps so much.

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Bun
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26 Apr 2012, 4:57 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

I wish I was like Ozzy Osbourne, then I would just do whatever the hell I feel like and it would work out.....lol.

I wish I were Ian McCulloch, but with enough tendency to be with Will... But I think I wouldn't want to be Will and deal with Ian... :lol:

It's OK, I don't even 'get' myself, nothing to get here.

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26 Apr 2012, 5:36 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:

I wish I was like Ozzy Osbourne, then I would just do whatever the hell I feel like and it would work out.....lol.

So do I. SHARON!! !! !! !! !! :lol:

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Sweetleaf
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26 Apr 2012, 5:46 pm

DJFester wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

I wish I was like Ozzy Osbourne, then I would just do whatever the hell I feel like and it would work out.....lol.

So do I. SHARON!! !! !! !! !! :lol:

Well I guess I more meant it in the sense that, it would be cool if I could just decide I am going to be a vocalist, and then be in a metal band that ends up getting well known, possibly release some solo albums that would solve the whole bringing in income problem...but yeah I really doubt anything like that is going to happen.

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26 Apr 2012, 6:12 pm

I know what you meant, and of course you would have to work for it, unless you won the lottery, got a big inheritance or something like that. (Not too likely, same goes for me.) It would be cool to be a big celebrity musician / singer like Ozzy, though.

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