EstimatedProphet wrote:
I've tried a few times, but luckily I got found or something else happened to stop it ever time. After the second time I went to the ER they locked me up in the psych ward for the weekend. Once I got out I told myself I'd wait it out until 30, but I think I've mostly given up on suicide at this point. I tell myself that at least. I honestly don't know what I'd do if it weren't for weed, though. It's the only thing that's really ever helped to keep the suicidal thoughts at bay. Before the depression and suicidal ideation started you could've never convinced me that I'd end up doing drugs of any sort.
And there's me going off on some tangent like I tend to do. Alright, back to what I meant to say: It's definitely a hard thing to deal with, but I feel like it gets easier as time goes on. You've just got to realize that you're going to have to deal with a lot of BS to get to a comfortable spot in life. You may not even see it on the horizon, but you've just got to have some faith and wait it out. Surround yourself with understanding people, do what makes you happy, and be the best person you can and it's damn near inevitable that you'll find a nice comfortable spot for you to be you. Just remember that nothing worth having ever comes easy. You've got to work hard at it, but I'd say it's worth it. I like to think that once I get there it'll be more than what the average person thinks of as happiness because of the obstacles I've had to overcome to get there.
I feel like I started going off on another tangent there. Anyway, try to cheer up. It may not seem like it, but there are people in the world that care about you and want you to stay here. I wish nobody had to go through what I've gone through, but it happens and I sympathize and hope things get better.
Yeah cannabis helps with the depression and anxiety, or at least decreases it some...but I've been depressed for as long as I can remember.......and when I was younger I didn't think it was likely I'd ever use any drugs but it did not turn out way. But yeah I have been dealing with a lot of BS my entire life, so I guess it gets frustrating and it's hard not to get burnt out on it. I mean sometimes it just seems pointless....and at times it seems the harder I work on anything, the worse things become I mean I don't expect things to be easy it would just be nice if everything didn't have to be so difficult. But yeah all I really can do is keep trying to figure out something to do in life.
And I know there are people who care and all, but that only helps so much.
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We won't go back.