i am a wimp!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! help me!! !

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I received a fair amount of bullying around 12 years of age. My weight was around 100 pounds and was very gangly and thin. But when I started to fill out at about 125 pounds people left me alone a lot more. That is still a small stature, but it made a big difference. The bullying became less with every grade I went to as well. Fighting was very effective for me. It does hurt, but the pain is less than being bullied constantly. If I had to do it again, I would have fought more. It is surprising how many people back down from a fight, even one they will likely win. I think their thought process is, "Well, I could, like, totally kick this geek's ass, but my hands are gonna be sore for a weak, and he might give me a good shiner, which would be embarrasing to explain to my friends how this geeky little dude brained me a good one." Then his subconscience thinks, " And besides, fighting is kind of scary anyway, so don't do it." Now this won't work for everyone. Some people aren't afraid to fight and will put the hurt on you. Fortunately, the percentage of these type of bullies is quite small.

As school went on I also didn't realize to full extent of how afraid that I was supposed to be, and that projected an air of aloofness which translated into confidence which further reduced the bullying. If I was able to understand how much the bullies were trying to intimidate me, then I would have been more afraid, which they would have picked up on, and therefore, would have bullied me more.

Management. Think about what you could do to prevent bullying. Are you right or left handed? You may carry your books in your dominant hand leaving your weak hand to do all your other stuff. Learn to carry your books in your weak hand that way you can better protect yourself, and more importantly, you will present a stronger image. Bullies are predators and will find the weakest prey. If you look weak, then you will be a target. Anything you do to make yourself look stronger will go a long ways. You may not be a strong person, but you clearly aren't weak-minded. Use it. If you have access to a locker, learn to open it quickly so you can only carry a smaller number of books. If someone wants to knock the books out of your hands, it is harder to do and if they succeed in knocking them out of your hands, a couple of books strewn on the floor doesn't look as bad as 5 books strewn about which would present a very weak visual image for all of the bullies to remember and use against you. Or maybe your classes (when you start moving from room to room) are close to each other, so having a bunch of books at one time will save you from confrontations in the hallway or at your locker. These are just examples, but hopefully this will give you something to think about.

I remember a time where my classmates thought it was funny to hit each other in the arm, hard. I didn't like it and tried to avoid it. This just made it worse for me. Everybody started nailing me all the time. And I mean all the time. Then I decided to hit back. I couldn't hit very hard, but my bony knuckes could really hurt, so when they hit me, I started playing their game and calmly hit them back harder. Then they started really hitting me hard, but I didn't give up. After a week, my wrist was quite sore as was my arm, but they finally stopped.

Another time I was coming back from some out-of-town function in a station wagon driven by one of the parents when the guys I was with starting hitting me. Not in the face, but in the legs and arms and stomach. I tried to fight back and defend myself, but was very inneffectual. After a couple minutes of this, I said something to the driver, but all she did was look back and ignore me. It was awful. After that I never attended another function. This is a form of management. It isn't fair, but it beats (pun intended) getting hit by three guys for 45 minutes.

One last example in this long winded, babbling response: I was on the bus and a guy in my grade started to slap me in the head very hard. This guy was into karate and had fought a fair amount and used steroids; needless to say, he was someone to avoid at great cost. He kept slapping me whlie I was directly behind the bus driver and I asked the bus driver to stop this guy, but the bus driver just looked in his mirror and didn't respond. After about the fifth slap, I turned around and slapped the bully upside his head about as hard as I could. My hand was numb. He didn't even look at me when he smiled and said he was going to get off at my stop and totally kick my ass. He was scheduled to get off before my stop. The bus driver heard the whole thing and when his stop came, the bus driver let that bully stay on so he could get off at my stop. When this happened I knew I was screwed. I imagined myself missing a few teeth and crying in front of everyone. Fortunately when we got to my stop, his brother stood up to him and protected me. Close call! That bully still have me grief at times, but it never did escalate to that level again.

Physical bullying fortunately goes away when we get older, but unfortunately, bullying continues on in different forms. Bullies use their positions of influence to make things harder for us. People often become passive-aggressive, and that is just as harmful physical bullying. If I had to define bullying I would call it purposely making an effort to cause harm to another, even if it has negative consequences on the bully.

I noticed I focused on the physical part of bullying, not the name calling. Name calling wasn't much of a problem for me. I think it was because I didn't realize how much they were trying to be mean to me, which made their efforts much less effective. Because of my name, I remember being called Thornbutt, Thornchicken, etc. I found it kind of funny, and still do, but if I was called ret*d, fa***t, freak, loser, and such by a great variety of people, that would suck. I'm not sure what I would do. Fortunately that will go away for the most part as you get older. Knowing that probably doesn't do much for you at this time for you, though.

Your karate teacher is correct in a big way, but I suspect that part of the reason he/she said not to hit someone else is because of the liability. If your teacher said, "It's OK to become physical in a confrontation if it will de-escalate the situation and protect yourself", then someone could hold the teacher legally liable. In some situations it is OK and legal to use physical means to protect yourself even if running away or telling on the bully is also an option. Often using physical means or projecting a strong physical presence is better. That is an awful thing to say, but it is reality. People tend to respond well to a strong, physical presence. Bullying is something that bothers me a lot. Now that I'm 35, my experiences have a very small impact on me; I'm not mad at my bullies, nor do I think about the bad stuff that happened to me. I do carry some bad feelings for the people that were supposed to guide me and protect me, but didn't. Chaperones are there for a reason. Teachers need to do more than regurgitate facts and hand out homework. I was put in the Resource Room (special education classes for slower students) partially because of bullies. I was so focused on how to fit in and be comfortable that my grades fell to such an extent that they thought I needed remedial classes when part of what I needed was not to be so afraid of other people. Not just bullies, but other classmates that would ignore me or exclude me from school activities. I found it hard to do well at schoolwork when I was so focused on how hard it was to write when my wrist hurt from punching, or where the best spot was to sit to avoid people getting up and sitting away from me. Most of the time it wasn't this bad, but sometimes it certainley was. Even if there wasn't a lot of bullying, it was hard to be alone. I had a strong desire to fit in and have fun like the other classmates, but that never happened consistently. Now I'm OK being alone as long as I have my dog. I actually like it.

These examples may not be too helpful, but maybe you can glean a little good from them.

First, tell the bullies to stop. Not that they will, but when you look back later you can at least say you gave them the chance to get out without having to suffer much humiliation.

Next. Tell an authority type person. You'll get accused of being a Narc or whatever they're calling them these days. It's just another level of control these people try to hold so that you can't do anything.

Finally, if none of the authority types do anything, or they do an unresonable amount? Knock yourself out. Let that vicious creativity out. Do what you feel like. If you want to really make a point? Do it right in front of one of the teachers. Might be in the middle of a class when you just walk right over and slap one of the people giving you crap.

When you get told off by the teacher about how it's not appropriate, tell them that you gave them a chance to do something, but that they obviously don't give a damn. And that neither should you. This will force the issue. Good chance you'll get in trouble, but if the staff has even a shred of descency, they'll try to resolve the issue by talking it over. If they decide to just pin everything on you, just keep at it.


There's also a small chance that people will start saying that you're the coolest kid in school Sure, some of them will throw things around and call the teachers names. But how many of them would have the guts to do something like that?


But do try your best to resolve the issue without doing anything vicious first.

Xuincherguixe,

I like that approach. Seems like a very effective way to make a point if one decides to get physical.

I really don't like violence. But, sometimes you really need to shock people to get them to start paying attention. Slapping someone isn't all that damaging, and it's sure to get attention.

True slapping has a good deal of shock factor.

DUDE! Some one beat up my poor and defensless boyfriend amd sent him to the hospital!! !! !! And that all happened at school

You're not a wimp..

Those that use violence against the defenceless are cowards..

And I lost control in this way, today..

I'm the real wimp.

You're only a wimp if you wimp out.
I agree in that you should stand up to them.
Ignoring it won't make it go away.
Take my advice. I didn't and it only made things worse.
If I had to relive my life, that's one thing I would have changed.
You will most probably get hurt, but you will also grow stronger.

They do consider being ignored yet another excuse to continue.
With all the hate I have for bullies my advice might be a bit biased, but generally, I think that you should give back tenfold.
Disclaimer, though, because this will probably get nasty.

Enhance you wit.
Check out a lot of comedy and comedians often speaking about injustices and what's wrong with the world and that rely on a quick wit and often defeating comebacks.
Chris Rock, George Carlin, 2 Gryphon or Sean Kennedy for example.
If you do that you will probably get a rapid wit and tongue, which will serve you good as a weapon.
Never underestimate the ability to come up with defeating comeback on the spot.
Ditch your ego. Know yourself, and if you do, you know that what they say isn't true, and if it is, to not let it affect you.
Just deliver a snappy comeback and make people laugh at him.
So whenever they say something you don't like, you just shoot them down.
If you're the one being shot down, make sure to come down like a Japanese ww2 kamikaze pilot.

I would hope that you don't have to go here, but if it comes down to it, it comes down to it, so: Disclaimer, disclaimer!
If you decide to go this route, you should of course make your intent clear first.
Tell them to stop (they won't). Tell your teachers to do something (they won't).
Report the school to the police (that might prod your school into do something).
Tell them that if they don't do anything about it, then you will take matters into your own hands and that they will be held responsible for not doing anything.

If after that they still touch you, give them a warning, saying not to touch you again.
If they touch you again, I don't see how anybody could accuse you if you go berserk.
When it comes to the physical, you should learn some really dirty fighting.
There are some good sources on this. Try to find army close combat fighting manuals for some tips.
DON'T take knives or guns to school, because then you will have to spend the rest of your life in Guantanamo Bay or prison.
Pretty much, go for the sensitive areas like balls, eyes, throat, etc. Bite (chunks out of their flesh), rip (their ears off), scratch (their faces up) kick, knee, elbow and punch them and do it fast and hard and don't stop.
If you do this, you most likely be in a world of hurt afterwards, no pain no gain, but so will he, plus you rolled a higher initiative and thus had the advantage of surprise, and chances are, if you do that every time they even touch you, that they will probably consider not touching you any more.
If you were to be called the "crazy kid", might as well give them a reason to call you that.
Besides, I don't think you are but some who are bullied are suicidal, so if it's that far gone, then you wouldn't really have anything to lose.
I'd never commit suicide. I'd rather go down fighting.

And who knows? NT bonding is so weird that after you had a good brawl, you might end up friends...