Should I make suicide because of my asperger's

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Asperger's isn't rare. One in a hundred people are autistic, and that means that in the world there are more than sixty-eight million people in the same position you're in. You're not alone. Many, many people have faced the problems you are facing, and solved them.

I've been suicidal, multiple times. I survived; didn't even make any serious attempts. Almost everyone who is suicidal will survive. You can, too.

What you should do depends on exactly how much trouble you're in as far as those suicidal thoughts go. If it's just popping into your mind, you're just playing with the thoughts and you're not really thinking about doing anything anytime soon, it's probably not an emergency and you can get away with phoning your psychologist (or family doctor if you don't have a shrink) tomorrow when they're open and getting an appointment.

If on the other hand you are feeling impulsive, if you have anything dangerous easily available, or if you find yourself making plans, that's an emergency. You can call the emergency hotline in your area (in mine it's just 911). You can also check the phone book or the Internet for suicide hotlines in your country. They can help you figure out how to keep yourself safe. If you are absolutely at a loss and can't talk out loud, call the emergency number, leave the phone off the hook, and go wait for the police. The police will have to come to your house because they have to come anytime you call the emergency number. If you can write, write down what the problem is: You are autistic, you are thinking about suicide, you are having problems talking, and you need help. They will probably take you to the hospital, which will be difficult for you but will keep you alive.

Don't drink any more. That will just make you more confused. You need to think clearly right now.

If you can, go to bed and pull the covers up over you and rest. It doesn't matter if you can't sleep. Just rest. Even lying still in a quiet place can help.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

Feeling victimized by a condition / label is actually not rare, AS is no exception. When I had suicidal thoughts due to it (within a year) they came at me in short but intense bouts, as I'm prone to have impulsive emotions. I managed to keep these negative thoughts at bay by crying and talking about them to my parents.

One reoccurring problem is when you see other successful people around you and you can't help being jealous at them (and feel judged by some people consequently). Fate could have been ruthless with you, even then, you don't have the right, and this is absolutely NOT the right thing to do. People already have done a lot for you in your life, and even if not, there's such thing like 'responsibility' for every sentient being. The more you can feel its compelling the more you understand that there's a purpose for everyone, every single life on Earth, and it's up to you to find it. In my opinion the best way to do so is to have a noble sense of responsibility for your life AND the life of others (I'm not talking about religion here, though). The latter can't be achieved without first fulfilling the former.

Different standards may apply for people who are differently abled in a somewhat more serious way, like having an ASD. This alone justifies all your righteous and appropriate efforts to make people around you accept its validity. The more serious person you can manage to be in their eyes (taking responsibility, "keeping your chin up", defending yourself in a non-harmful way), the more you will be able to pull off all this stuff.

Alright, I sometimes feel that I just can't manage with my AS (though not all the time). After all, maybe I can be successful despite my AS. I just sometimes feel I can't fight back.

I just god damn hate it when you make a lots of money (not millions though) playing Texas Hold'em online and then because of other forms of gambling I lose it all, like I have no sense of money whatsoever and I'd like to blame my AS about it, but nothing helps. Should I contact gamblers anonymous? The amounts I win and lose even in one day just gets bigger and bigger. Now I am almost completely broke.

If you have a moment, please watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfVXDtG1 ... re=related It is of a spiritual teacher explaining how we can deal with extreme pain. I think it is relevant to your situation.

Sure, why not? It can't hurt. Worst that could happen is that you find out they can't help you particularly well and you have to go and try to find some other way to solve the problem. At the very least you can meet other people who've solved the problem you're facing and get tips from them.

I can see how you could lose your money on gambling. There's such an intellectual challenge in trying to figure out the optimal strategy. But the house always has an edge and there's always the chance of losing everything. If you play theoretically perfect strategy you still gradually lose money. If it's really the intellectual challenge for you, maybe you could study game theory instead of gambling? There's so much to learn in that area, and all without having to risk your finances.

I wonder if there's some way to keep yourself from using all your money on gambling. Like, keeping yourself from accessing most of it, so you can't impulsively go off and bet it on something. Or, if worst comes to worst, even giving somebody else control over your money--but this is a last resort, and only to be done with people you trust absolutely. It's better than going totally broke though.

All i can say is the feelings pass... I cycle through deep depressions, mania, psychosis, suicidal thoughts...
When I think, I am a victim of society (which has actually happened in the form of social ritual sacrifice), I say, it is not really my fault, I was psychotic at the time, I am not the fault of collective hatred... I say... I am brain damaged for having AS +psychosis... I did not choose it, I choose to move past it... I choose to expel it I choose to delay the sickness and take a walk in the park...
I know there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and it's not death, it's rebirth in this life...
Just keep up hope whatever your life situation is things will get better...