Worst momnt of my life, help me

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edgewaters
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27 May 2012, 5:45 pm

Be strong, stand your ground OOM ... judging from your posts I'm certain you wouldn't have made that decision unless it really was the necessary thing to do. Don't second guess yourself. It's terrible its turned out like that but on the other hand ... its great that its going to change.



OliveOilMom
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27 May 2012, 6:54 pm

I honestly think I'm going to go stay with Patricia and Roy for a while. Patricia is my ex husbands wife (they haven't got divorced but he's in prison for execution) and Roy is her high school bf who recently got out himself. She's always been there for me, and I was there for her and saved her life when she had that nervous breakdown after George shot that guy in their house then shot at her. My mother thinks I should go over to stay with them. It's in Mississippi though and they don't have internet.


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OliveOilMom
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27 May 2012, 7:04 pm

Sh's a friend from high school. I thought I should clarify. Me and Patricia were friends before she got with George. So it's ok.


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27 May 2012, 7:39 pm

I am glad you have a place to stay. I wonder how are you going to take care of your kids while you are away and in another state?

If I were in your position, I wouldn't know what to do so I'd be trapped.


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OliveOilMom
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27 May 2012, 8:07 pm

My kids are grown. The youngest one is 15. The oldest, 23 has been gone for a while with a crazy baby mama. The next oldest 18, is with her rich bf for five years, the 17yo has a couple jobs he has been offered. Liqour store, coal mine, he's got it made. The 15yo has a ton of black boys who like her. She will be fine. They want her to move in with them.


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blueroses
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27 May 2012, 8:07 pm

I think what you did is brave. My mom wound up staying with my alcoholic father until close to the end (he died of cirrhosis) and it gradually tore the family apart. Although I don't know the details of your situation, it sounds like it was the right thing to do.



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27 May 2012, 8:10 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
My kids are grown. The youngest one is 15. The oldest, 23 has been gone for a while with a crazy baby mama. The next oldest 18, is with her rich bf for five years, the 17yo has a couple jobs he has been offered. Liqour store, coal mine, he's got it made. The 15yo has a ton of black boys who like her. She will be fine. They want her to move in with them.


Are there other family members your kids can stay with?



League_Girl
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27 May 2012, 9:10 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
My kids are grown. The youngest one is 15. The oldest, 23 has been gone for a while with a crazy baby mama. The next oldest 18, is with her rich bf for five years, the 17yo has a couple jobs he has been offered. Liqour store, coal mine, he's got it made. The 15yo has a ton of black boys who like her. She will be fine. They want her to move in with them.



I thought being grown meant being an adult now. Anyone under 18 is not grown yet.


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OliveOilMom
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28 May 2012, 12:46 pm

Lague Girl, grown as in being able to take care of themselves around the house. I wouldn't let my younger daughter move in with any of those boys, of course not, but I'd let her stay with a friend for a few weeks if need be.

After giving it some thought this morning, I can't get a divorce. I have nowhere at all to go. I don't have a job, and can't get one here in town and I have no transportation to drive to Tuscaloosa or Birmingham for work. Without income I wouldn't be able to live, or provide for my kids. I talked to my husband this morning and he screamed and hung up on me. He's being a huge ass now. I don't know whats going on or whats going to happen when he gets home. He will probably try to kick me out, and I'm not going anywhere because I don't have anywhere to go right now. If he calls the cops to have them put me out, number one they can't because I haven't done anything wrong, and number two if he does that I'll invite them in and take them to his little weed stash, so he will be the one going somewhere, not me.

I HATE it when I don't know what's going to happen.


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conundrum
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28 May 2012, 6:48 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
I have nowhere at all to go. I don't have a job, and can't get one here in town and I have no transportation to drive to Tuscaloosa or Birmingham for work. Without income I wouldn't be able to live, or provide for my kids.


Would your friends be able to help you out in that respect? I doubt they'd want you to have to stay in this situation for any reason.

OliveOilMom wrote:
If he calls the cops to have them put me out, number one they can't because I haven't done anything wrong, and number two if he does that I'll invite them in and take them to his little weed stash, so he will be the one going somewhere, not me.


He'd deserve that, BIG TIME.

Let us know what's happening. I hope things work out for you somehow. Take care.


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28 May 2012, 7:03 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
Lague Girl, grown as in being able to take care of themselves around the house. I wouldn't let my younger daughter move in with any of those boys, of course not, but I'd let her stay with a friend for a few weeks if need be.

After giving it some thought this morning, I can't get a divorce. I have nowhere at all to go. I don't have a job, and can't get one here in town and I have no transportation to drive to Tuscaloosa or Birmingham for work. Without income I wouldn't be able to live, or provide for my kids. I talked to my husband this morning and he screamed and hung up on me. He's being a huge ass now. I don't know whats going on or whats going to happen when he gets home. He will probably try to kick me out, and I'm not going anywhere because I don't have anywhere to go right now. If he calls the cops to have them put me out, number one they can't because I haven't done anything wrong, and number two if he does that I'll invite them in and take them to his little weed stash, so he will be the one going somewhere, not me.

I HATE it when I don't know what's going to happen.


There must be crisis lines you can call that will help you and give you advice. Your husband sounds like somebody I would not want to go back to. You're a strong woman, I know you can do it. You could probably stay at some kind of women's shelter and get social assistance or disability to get you a house/apartment lined up.



edgewaters
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28 May 2012, 7:12 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
After giving it some thought this morning, I can't get a divorce. I have nowhere at all to go. I don't have a job, and can't get one here in town and I have no transportation to drive to Tuscaloosa or Birmingham for work. Without income I wouldn't be able to live, or provide for my kids. I talked to my husband this morning and he screamed and hung up on me. He's being a huge ass now. I don't know whats going on or whats going to happen when he gets home. He will probably try to kick me out, and I'm not going anywhere because I don't have anywhere to go right now. If he calls the cops to have them put me out, number one they can't because I haven't done anything wrong, and number two if he does that I'll invite them in and take them to his little weed stash, so he will be the one going somewhere, not me.

I HATE it when I don't know what's going to happen.


Oh God that sounds awful OOM. You probably should have planned more before you made your move, not that it helps any for me to say that now.

I've been trapped in very bad living situations because of finances before, its terrible. Life must be so easy for people with money. They think they can understand because they had to eat Ramen noodles as a student, or did a 2 week "minimum wage challenge" while living in a fancy house with a nice car and wardrobe and still going to a good job. They have no freaking idea and never will.



2wheels4ever
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29 May 2012, 12:04 am

edgewaters wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
After giving it some thought this morning, I can't get a divorce. I have nowhere at all to go. I don't have a job, and can't get one here in town and I have no transportation to drive to Tuscaloosa or Birmingham for work. Without income I wouldn't be able to live, or provide for my kids. I talked to my husband this morning and he screamed and hung up on me. He's being a huge ass now. I don't know whats going on or whats going to happen when he gets home. He will probably try to kick me out, and I'm not going anywhere because I don't have anywhere to go right now. If he calls the cops to have them put me out, number one they can't because I haven't done anything wrong, and number two if he does that I'll invite them in and take them to his little weed stash, so he will be the one going somewhere, not me.

I HATE it when I don't know what's going to happen.


Oh God that sounds awful OOM. You probably should have planned more before you made your move, not that it helps any for me to say that now.

I've been trapped in very bad living situations because of finances before, its terrible. Life must be so easy for people with money. They think they can understand because they had to eat Ramen noodles as a student, or did a 2 week "minimum wage challenge" while living in a fancy house with a nice car and wardrobe and still going to a good job. They have no freaking idea and never will.


Compound that with NT + 'let them eat cake' - and you probably know how easy it is to feel like a 'taker' when you're forced to surf a couch. At least me being a guy it feels like crap to be in that position.

OOM I don't know the whole backstory but has it been to this point before? If it has I would be doing the kiss-and-make-up bit while carefully premeditating a plan for total independence. So there's that and if it comes to pointing the cops to his treasure chest, what would be the full outcome from that? I don't expect he'll be indisposed very long if they do more than write him a ticket but it may buy you some time to strategize over the next few days, but best of fortune to ya


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edgewaters
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29 May 2012, 12:40 am

Yeah pointing the cops to his stash, might not do you much good OOM. I was once arrested for cultivation of marijuana (the only trouble I have ever been in with the law). I was out of lockup in 6 hours, and only wound up with a summary conviction for possession and a $700 fine. No time.

That was just a closet. Maybe if he has a whole basement or something, but even then he could be out on bail or recognizance quickly. Plus. You would probably be charged as an accessory if it was that large and you were living there the whole time.

I do not believe this would be a wise strategy.



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31 May 2012, 5:45 am

Yikes, hope your going to be OK!