Anyone 18+ and Never Kissed?

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atdevel
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29 Jun 2012, 1:20 pm

bernerbrau wrote:
Boy can I ever relate. And then everyone telling you "oh, you just need more confidence!" as if that is going to solve all your problems.


Yeah how do you get this confidence? You'd be too afraid to practice and some rejections are bad. I've heard of people turning to vodka to be more confident, and research shows that alcohol improves confidence, but I'm too, erm... scared to try, and probably shouldn't anyway.



OJani
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29 Jun 2012, 1:25 pm

I haven't kissed until I was 36. Before that I had one or two dates maybe. I don't like kissing anyway, it freaks me out. And I tried not to be.

I think I have to accept that relationships with the opposite sex don't come easy, so to speak. Perhaps they never will come. I've been in one (and maybe a half), together for more than one year, but they are stressing.

However, I believe that the sooner you begin to decipher the secrets of romantic relationships by trying to participate in them the more likely you'll have a lasting one in your life that you can enjoy being in. For me, it can already be too late...


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bernerbrau
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29 Jun 2012, 1:33 pm

atdevel wrote:
Yeah how do you get this confidence? You'd be too afraid to practice and some rejections are bad. I've heard of people turning to vodka to be more confident, and research shows that alcohol improves confidence, but I'm too, erm... scared to try, and probably shouldn't anyway.


Sure alcohol can help make it easier to socialize - I certainly find that it does. It lowers the inhibitions of aspies making us more confident, and it lowers the inhibitions of NTs making them less scared to approach us. But you can't really build a relationship on it.

In all honesty, as aspies our social issues make it difficult to initiate romantic relationships, but it doesn't make it impossible. I've been married for almost four years now.

The fact is, if you put yourself out there enough, you will eventually find someone. With our social handicaps, we just have to learn to handle a lot more rejection than normal before we find what we're looking for. We have to push our comfort zones and boundaries a lot more than everyone else does. And as a result we often settle before we've found the right one, and we often stay in relationships too long.



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29 Jun 2012, 4:23 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
I never kissed anyone until I was 19.. nearly 20!

Same here.


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EstherJ
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29 Jun 2012, 6:12 pm

About to turn 21 and have never kissed, dated, had a boyfriend, etc.

Ok, I do exaggerate. I have been on a grand total of three dates.

I have no interest in this right now at all. Someday, but not now.



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29 Jun 2012, 10:18 pm

Never been on a date, never been kissed, never even held a girls hand.


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30 Jun 2012, 3:52 am

starryeyedvoyager wrote:
I too think that in these forums, a huge number of the folks here share your experience. I remember how it was back at school, everyone was having a girlfriend or boyfriend, but I didn't. Never understood why, what I did wrong or what the others did better than me, but it soon started to fade, as I was really ashamed of myself because I thought I wasn't normal (man, if only I knew back then I was right... it would have been so much different). I'm 7 years older than you, and nothing has changed. I can only say that at one point, you start to accept the things you can't change, instead of struggling while fighting against it. Don't do anything you might regret later! Just go on with your life, either you will find love some day (or it may find you), or you find your fullfillment elsewhere.


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30 Jun 2012, 8:45 pm

23 and never kiss :(



hansky
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30 Jun 2012, 10:57 pm

I'm 19 and have never had a boyfriend, kissed, or been on a date (that I wanted to be on).



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30 Jun 2012, 11:59 pm

27 and have never been kissed, never dated or had a boyfriend.

not interested anyway.



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02 Jul 2012, 9:20 pm

I didn't have my 1st girlfriend till I was 20, my 2nd one when I was 28; they each lasted like 6 months & I never kissed till recently & I'm in my 3rd relationship.


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02 Jul 2012, 11:14 pm

I've never kissed or dated anyone before. The furthest I've gone was hugging a guy, and that was done as a act of friendship.


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03 Jul 2012, 12:05 am

I've never been kissed or had a boyfriend, and I'll be 18 in 4 months from today(I hope I can still post here). I don't think I'll have my first kiss anytime soon. I'm going to college this fall, and most of my friends had their first kiss in high school.



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15 Jul 2012, 1:06 am

*sigh* it's on my to do list.... :(

I really need to start dating...


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15 Jul 2012, 2:49 am

18. I went on a date recently. I don't know how it went. I suppose well, as nothing went wrong. We might go on a second one. We'll see.

I haven't been kissed though. I'm not exactly the most feminine person, and thus, probably not the first choice to a guy my age.


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15 Jul 2012, 10:27 am

First serious kiss at 27, and I felt so awkward. In fact, I laughed while doing it. I was not interested in the guy.

I felt nothing. Hopefully if someday I kiss someone I'm interested in, it will be different.