I hate this.

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Well, my mother for example has similar problems than me. And my sister, too. All only to a certain extend similar, because everybody is different.
There is some inheritance (so far only suspected for Asperger), so I think your mother could have some insight.
But my mother is no real great help to me, (either).

At least if your mother says so that you have just and emotional problem, this might be from her perspective.
But, what could be actually be wrong with you, if you are different? Its being an aspie and It's just something that you have to live with.
And accepting it to a certain extend is part of it.

But that doesn't mean that you have to accept it, the way it is right for you now.
Even if your mother thinks you should do so, she's a different person and has grown up in a different time.
What works for her isn't necessarily working for you.

Well getting rid of the anxiety is a really fine thing. But I think this is by no means an easy thing.
Especially when you thing about triggered anxiety, where you can go quite mad, sometimes.
Better not to push the trigger and develope some strategy what to do if it happens, to get out of it as quick as possible.

What I am also thinking about what is the process of recognizing yourself as an aspie and how much does it actually help to know.
Although there was a first relief, for me there is not a clear perspective yet, how to deal with all the symptoms, that I see now more clearly.

You dealt with it already, but with the "diagnosis" a lot of things change and you probably "recode" your coping strategies to a higher level.

For me the understanding has also raised some new fears about my future, now that I understand more and more about it.
Not that I didn't have worries already before, but now there are different feelings I have. And to those I'll have to adapt.
I cannot just continue as before because I feel I reacted quite often wrongly.
But how the hack should I adapt to this new level?

My stress is really high for the moment....
Cutting down the stress level is one of the most important things, I think

Well it is good to keep your mind open, until you get a accurate diagnosis. I have seen some people go through a phase where this week they are convinced they have one condition, but next week they think it's a different one, and so on. One problem with self diagnosis is that so many things share similiar/overlapping symptoms, and it can get pretty technical or be a process of tests, etc, to determine the exact cause.

Your Mom's opinion is normally important to consider, as they say the Mom knows the child best, and can tell when something is wrong that others can't see. But she may also be in a state of denial, for no parent wishes their child to have physical or mental conditions. So overall she can be conflicted and not an objective observer in this case. And while Mom's can often tell when you are feeling good or bad, they are not mental health professionals. My opinion is this is not a situation to take the Mom's diagnosis as final. You need to persue this further to hopefully find real answers.

I'm trying to keep an open mind. It seems to me my mother isn't though. Anyway, I think I might agree I have a problem with my emotions (and probably something else). I've always found it hard handling my emotions and knowing what and why I feel what I feel. Just don't know if it's big enough a problem to be considered a disorder. Do you know what I mean? What are the different disorders when it comes to emotions by the way? I've mostly just heard of Depression, Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder. Those are at least the ones I first think of when I think about mood disorders or whatever they're called.

I will pursue this further. I need answers. Though sometimes I just feel like giving up.

You will often find people who do not believe certain mental conditions exsist. They accept the obvious ones, that they can undisputably see, (like Down Syndrome) but do not believe there is actually anything physically wrong in the lesser ones. You can still here the saying, 'There is nothing wrong with you, it's all in your head'.

Well yeah, it is, but there most definately can be physical irregularities/problems with the brain causing the undesireable or excessive thoughts/emotions/moods. There can also be something like a domino effect, in that one often physically caused mental disorder, like say Anxiety or Depression, can exhaust you mentally (a normal response to stress) and deepen the depression or cause new problems. Btw, all people, not just Aspies, etc, can get these mental conditions, or even be hereditarily susceptible to them.

Also there are episodic or temporary events that naturally occur such as a depression after the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or perhaps even after lesser circumstances such as adolescence, reaching adult status, a new school etc, that can cause stress and mental turbulence.

Now one of your key questions is what is the case, or cases with you ? Unfortunately, other then providing some potentially useful bits and pieces no one here can tell you. The problem is the complexity and need for analytic tools and testing. If it was just one symtom, it wouldn't be so difficult perhaps, but from the bit you have shared, more then one thing is going on. They could be seperate issues or all tied to one. Getting it sorted out is not easy, even for professionals sometimes and the best inssurance for a good diagnosis is to get multiple opinions.

One basic measurement however is how long have the undesireable symtoms lasted, or how frequent are they. In general a mind in normal health will rebound fairly quickly after a stressful event and the bad feeling or thoughts fade. If you are frequently experiencing uncomfortable moods or are stuck in them chronically its a sign that something more pervasive is going on and you better have it checked out professionally.

Whether to go to professionals or not is actually a very big decision. If the symtoms were light and not really affecting your life you might choose not to get a diagnosis and basically just live with it. But if it is continually troubling or worse, bringing on mental crisis's, then the only way to possible relief is thru professonal medical assistance. It's then a choice of living miserably without a diagnosis and help, or hopefully living much closer to normally, with a diagnosis and assistance, be it counseling and/or medication(s).

As far as feeling like giving up, it is likely nearly everyone here can relate, even if the specific problems are different. NTs get to that point too, if too much goes wrong in a short period of time. It's like trying to climb out of an empty well for a long time, and then slipping and falling to the bottom again.

What thoughts, what motivation, was behind each of our decisions to brush off the dirt, slime, and mold and try again ?

I wouldn't be too surprised if this is typical for aspies. You could see it as a result of the need of keep some order in your life.
If something is totally out of place (like not as expected, not explainable, not feelable, wrong to your opinion and nothing you can do)
then this triggers stress and with stress the level of anxiety rises.

That's how it works on me (or I think so).

I think that anxiety level rises with stress is maybe normal(even with NTs)??
But the stress level in aspies is not normal, not reasonable, often just exaggerated.

It would be really interesting where to cut the connection. Less stress
or is it possible to not get anxiety on stress as an aspie.

I don't want too much go into the direction of totally avoiding stress, I want to be able to resist some stress.
But anxiety feelings I could really get rid off altogether.
Avoiding is not a general strategy for me. I want to find a work around to something

Well and taking medicine to be able to cope with stress as permanent solution
doesn't seem like an option to me, although in certain situations it could be nice
to reset the state of mind to normal.

You are perfectly right, this anxiety really f***s oneself over, sometimes,
unfortunately too often...

On top of that I think that our mind is so different that you probably need basically a different concept
for treating any kind of psychological problems with a psychologist.

It looks like anxiety is a central part of the way our mind works??
and is maybe something similar than hypersensitivity (overstimulated senses), considered "internally"??
(Small things for NTs that are not small for aspies make you go crazy)

Anybody(aspie) here that has no such kind of problems, and never had?

Edit:
Sensory overload, Cognitive load, working memory just took a glimpse at those

Yes you are right, one should be open to it. But this description of counting steps is really difficult to match with anything else. And this description seems to be typical for aspies.
Its probably a question of anxiety problems with or without asperger.



Well moms also have a pretty selfish view on things. It might be they know how it went for them, but are not diagnosed normally.
And how it went for them was ages ago. Society is nowadays so different. And female perspectives are again so different.
Ignoring the symptoms as far as possible is a typical aspie strategy for some, but quite seldom really satisfying (not for me)

I haven't done a lot of research/reading on these subjects, but the hypersensitivity you mention reminded me of something I read in a recent book on observable physilogical changes in chronically depressed people.

The author stated that in all people, major stressors activate a defense mechanism he called 'fight or flight', which is normally a very short physilogical heightened state designed to deal with crisis. This can be as simple as stepping out into the street and suddenly realizing a car is coming, or more disturbing such as being threatened, abused or harmed. But in certain people this state remains activated, or is unnaturally easily activated, something he compared to an switch being stuck in the 'on' position. Over time this causes a certain part of the front of our brain to shrink, which is an area associated with maintaining a balanced interpretation and response to stimulus. The gist of it was that chronic depression damages our ability to recover and fight depression thereby increasing depression even further.

Forgive me if I got bits technical bits incorrect, for it has been about 2 years since I read it, but I believe I got the basic concepts correct.

Yeah, that could well exactly be like that. What I actually meant was going also in that direction of Cognitive load, working memory, overload. But there is probably a connection if the part of the front of our brain (prefrontal cortex) is the place of this working memory.



Could it be that with aspies the working memory is quite strained due to sensory overload and if it is exhausted
what happens then?
Is anxiety triggered by that?

This probably belongs into a different forum on WP. And I should probably read more about it, there.
Anxiety can just feels like some malfunction of recognition, malfunction of things you are able to ignore
(once you are back in normal state you know).
Affects the ability to do reasonable things.
Switches off of this unit



But why the hell are we subjected so easily to stress?
And get even stressed about obviously stupid things?

Last edited by onks on 17 Aug 2012, 1:00 am, edited 2 times in total.

I've already made up my mind. Whatever's "wrong" with me makes my life extremely complicated and I don't think I can get these obsessions (the negative ones) to stop on my own. Will probably get an appointment within 3 months or so. Long time. I hate not knowing.

Ich Verstanen. Du hast Angst.

Have you ever considered joining one of those Viking re-enactment groups they have up there ? Smashing shields and wacking some dude on the shoulder with an axe is wonderful stress relief.

German?



Ha, I suppose that would be a good way get rid of some stress and anger but I think it's probably easier to just buy a punching bag.

I can attest to this and maybe can offer some insight. During times of high stress in my job I forget things, easy things, things I know, they become blind spots, I'm surprised and frustrated to learn that I forget these easy things. While I may do this during times of low stress, it's very minimal. Basically, during times of high stress, I make really dumb mistakes. Working memory is strained during times of high stress.

Add to this, my doc is letting me try beta blocker to help. Super low dose, a drug that essentially regulates and lessens the fight or flight....interesting.....high stress, memory loss, fight or flight.
So....why does our brain take fairly benign situations and turn them into life or death?

Nein, aber ich lebte dort etwa 5 Jahren.



But it looks like such fun! Have you ever seen a happier bunch of Vikings ?

That sounds like absurd. Beta blocker is like a medicin against high blood pressure. Is it also against high stress. Sometimes I had 150 something, which is a bit too high for my age 120/80 is normal. Well, if it works...


Just don't give the brain enough oxygen to work, and it will slow down, hehe. No just joking ... (surprised)




Han är inte tysk men jag är. Naja, men lycka till med dina äventyr. Men vad bra att du kommer att få det klart nu. Jag är redan så gammal men jag tror att du är kanske ungare. Och desto ungare desto enklare är ett chans för ett bra liv!
Ångesten eller min stupiditet jag har upplevt är verkligen bra att ha under kontroll, fast det verkar sånt att du har det riktigt svårt.
Hei, men, förstås, det är mycket belastande nu, men jag har levt med det redan sån dänt 34 år utan att veta nåt. Jättebra att veta före det i princip. Men, början verkar att vara svårt. Men möjligheten finns alltid att ordna sig. Jag förstår inte heller ändå hur, men för mig också, jag vet jag kommer att klarar mig. Och om det kändes lite obekvämt med mina kommentarer, sorry för det. Jag är lite sånt...
I alla fall, om vi inte hörs, jaksa jaksa jaksa!

Sweet Pea hugs