Because of my chronic loneliness

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There are very direct tangible factors such as how broadly I'm accepted by others, and not merely how I feel.

Plus, I have had lousy experiences with so-called mental health "professionals." This idiot I saw at age 17 did not take my dad's violence seriously. This psychologist I saw at age 23, it was kind of this weird hard to follow thing in which he kind of sat on the sidelines pontificating a bunch of theory and being critical of me, with the unstated assumption that whatever he said was more important than whatever I might say. This psychiatrist I saw at age 26 recommended prozac for my OCD, but when I asked a second follow-up question became huffy literally saying "I'm not going to justify my prescription." Wow, don't know where that came frrom but it seemingly had very little to do with the conversation between him and me.

At times, I think I would be better off talking with a Methodist minister because the minister is likely to be more relaxed about his religion than the psychologist is about whatever little pet theory he or she has. The minister is also likely to have been a christian longer than the psychologist an adherent of his or her pet theory. And I say this even though I am a good atheist-agnostic! I think a person might also do better with a hair stylist or bartender they see on a regular basis, just as someone who has some general life experience and
observational data.

I saw my internist a little over a year ago, and told him I was struggling with depression, beginning to think I might need an antidepressant, kind of to prep him and give him a heads up in case I did need one. He was open to the idea. So, I say, you don't really need a mental health person at all. Just go to a regular doctor. And if the doctor is not open to trying the perhaps necessary trial and error, doctor shop as needed.

And so the goal is, to have more energy to light-touch jobs and social endeavors, and some will fall into place. I mean, if my serotonin is low, there's a lot to be said for an SSRI!

Before you "check out", please read this book
http://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meani ... 0671023373
I think it will change your perspective on topics such as life and suffering a great deal. It's i written by a man with extraordinary merits to speak about mental health as well human tragedy.

folllowing a previous poster's comments about shrinks, you need someone to talk to OP (doesn't need to be a shrink). And a good person to talk to will listen. Think of someone that will listen and not judge. You must have at least one person in your life that will do that for you. Think about it. That will be the first step and hopefully in the right direction

Most books on psychology and social skills seem to recommend conforming in one way or another.

There is another way. And that is to skip followship skills and jump straight to the good stuff of low-key and direct leadership skills, which are more straightforward and satisfying anyway. And besides, the goal would be engaging, not conforming.