I'm here. Thank you all for the concern, I truly mean it. I was so hesitant to post about it because I was afraid I would be seen as attention seeking, which I wasn't, I don't even know why I wanted to tell anybody, but either way it didn't work so that's neither here nor there.
I've tried before and I'm apparantly a lot harder to kill than you would think. I'm going to try not to try that again for quite a long time. It's been a few years since my last serious attempt, and vanity has made me stop just cutting the crap out of my left wrist, because I know I'm too much of a wimp to do it right, that rarely works, and I'll have to hide scars for a while.
I'm still very depressed, but not suicidal at all right now. I felt I owed you folks an update.
My pee is ok too, not dark at all or anything. So I'm not worried about my liver. Or kidneys. I'm just not dealing with that, it'll either be ok or it won't. It probably will though.
I saw my grandbaby today for the first time since she was a little baby. That made my day, really.
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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is
http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com