Jealous of younger people who were diagnosed?

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It's impossible to tell if things would've been better if I would've been diagnosed at a much younger age (I am diagnosed at the age of 21). I often wish I had. Maybe I would've been happier now, but maybe I wouldn't. Nobody can tell.

My point is, you just got to try to accept the things like they are. Some things - like this - you just can't change.

I was diagnosed at a young age, and it changed the way I was brought up and stuff. Maybe I would be better than I am now if I had not been diagnosed until later. Maybe I would have had more chance to go out and do stuff because my parents might not have been that overprotective.

Then again, my life might have been harder if I did not get the help I needed.

I understand the feeling, I wouldn't say I'm 'jealous" of the younger generation, but I guess you can say I feel a sense of relief that at least children today, and future generations for the most part won't have to grow up wondering why they are so different from everyone else like I did, and have life make no sense at all. Hopefully more young people being diagnosed will bring autism to be accepted by more of the population, it will become more "normal" in the eyes of NT's, and they will start understanding it more.

I was just talking yesterday to someone who I hadn't seen since my high school years, and I had told her about my suspicions that I'm an Aspie, and that I want to go to see a professional about it to make sure, and she had said that not many people when we were children knew much about high functioning autism. I got to thinking about it later, both me and her are only 24, but even 15-20 years ago when we were young children, how many people did know about Aspies, and understand what Asperger's is? Not as many people as understand it now, for sure, though there's still a long way to go.

Yes, same here, given it a lot of thought actually, especially lately. But I'm grateful at the same time, because have someone who helps me.

Hmmm. Despite my post yesterday. I am now watching the series Parenthood (there's a kid with Aspergers in the show) and now, after seeing it, I am actually feeling really sad about it. Today I wish that I could've had the help and support he had at that age.

I wasnt dx'd until a couple years ago when I was over fifty.

I totally relate to what the OP is saying.

I think that most aspies over a certain age, feel that way.


I just try not to dwell on it.

And the negative feelings I get are not directed AT younger aspies of today, its directed at those idiotic ineffective shrinks my parents sent me to all of those years ( some were good and effective TO A POINT but never heard of apergers, others were incompetent even by the standards of the time).

Can't agree. There seems no point at all in being jealous of something that can't happen to you anymore, and thinking whatif!!

Not diagnosed until I was 63, it is the best thing that could have happened to me as it has made understanding and acceptance of myself to a whole new level.

Do I regret not finding out earlier, . . . there is no point as it did not happen. The struggles I went through have helped to make me what I am. I think I have done quite well, and am happy with myself.

Also at least now I can help a granddaughter come to terms with being on the spectrum.

Cheers

Thats all bogus.

you're admitting to being aware that you would be have been better off having been dxd earlier in life.

So why deny it?
Acknowleding the pain helps get over it. Acknowledge it. But dont dwell on it.

And BTW you're miss using the word "regret".

"Regret" applies to your own mistakes. Not to other people's, even if they effect you.

Since you had no control over the evolution of the thinking of the mental health community you had no control over the fact that aspergers didnt exist as a dx until only a few years ago.

So it doesnt make sense to say "you dont regret it" because its the healthcare systems mistake, and not yours in not dxing you earlier.

I think it would have been nice. Dx now at my age is very difficult. Im living in a foreign country and no relatives or people around that could describe my childhood.
I think the most important thing is to get the right support. At least this support can not harm you.
Many aspies or people with autitstic traits can live a normal life.

The differentness I feel is not a problem as such. It is about to get this coped / understood / accepted and develope your own comfort style.
The problems are the psychological effects that result from it.

I would say i am jealous of people that got good enough support to live almost without problems.
But these are rare.

the question then becomes "who lives virtually without problems?" Even fiscally responsible, wealthy, carefully confident neurotypical people have a fair amount of problems. the only difference is the type of problems. Again, a dx in early age or later in life would not be a considerable difference if only the support structure was equally adequate. Even now, once the early dx aspies pass a certain age, the support structure falls away. Unless the aspie has a great family and friend group that will be there even when society quits, then life will become a problem. The biggest advantage of an early dx is realized only if the individual has the circumstances to take advantage of the support system, AND, makes tremendous effort to modify detrimental behavior while learning independent behavior. The support system can help better ensure success in these areas if properly utilized. But if the aspie reaches the invisible "cut off point" and has not established proper behavior and habits to best ensure success, then society just doesn't care anymore.

that is tantamount to a religious believer saying "the devil made me do it". it is your responsibility and no one else.

Science and the pseudoscience of medicine are not perfect. worse yet, medicine is driven by profit. the only reason the medicine of psychology makes any discovery or advancement is if there is a possibility of a substantial enough profit to be realized by some company or group somewhere. If you want to be healthy and/or functional in society, then you have to be willing to take control of your own medical care. The doctors are your servants. If they prove to be arrogant, incompetent, and/or ignorant, then you have to be willing to do your own research, find your own doctors and consider your own treatment and therapy.

I am somewhat fortunate in this regard as my primary care physician is willing to listen, suggest, and compromise with me. She understands that it is my body and I am the one who has to live with the consequences of my health care decisions.

However, it is no one person or group, but myself, that is responsible for my not getting a dx of a disorder that has been relatively unknown until recently. I knew that something was different about me. I struggled, I adapted, I failed, and in some cases I succeeded. Life continues with or without a dx. When I realized that alcoholic beverages were detrimental to my health and sanity, I didn't blame the manufacturers nor the medical community. Even though I have a genetic predisposition to addiction, and even though the health care system didn't make me aware of my increased risk of addiction. I took action myself, too late for some things, but early enough for others.

Society (likewise the healthcare systems) is not responsible for predicting every difficulty you might experience. Nor is it responsible for identifying everything you suffer. Healthcare systems are only responsible for doing the best they can, without suffering financial losses in the process. If you want answers and solutions, you shouldn't be relying on a business that is only in it for profit. The only answers they have are the ones that increase their profits.

it is nice to have a support system but ultimately, everything is your responsibility.

many of the people i met who were brought up differently and given more wiggle room end up very entitled. I was put through the ringer by my father and school. i floundered through communication i made one teacher cry and she quit her job. i got in fights. i did really stupid things and i got punished. if i had been diagnosed younger then my parents might have let more things go and i would not have learned to hold my tongue and hide my impulses. I mean as an aspie often times i think i know a situation but i don't act because i could be wrong. and this behavior has saved me from many things. including things like sexual harassment and becoming someones stalker or having to get arrested and such. I feel happy i grew up with out it. But now that i know more about it it sheds alot of light onto my past and why i struggled with what i did.

Interesting topic. I think an earlier diagnostic would have made some things (in my life) a bit easier.

But...Jealous? No.

I have been a little jealous too, because my school years were made so miserable, - but reading and recognizing Oliveoilmoms description of her own mom, and realizing the possible consequences of an early dx, - and knowing, what the school system had to offer in the 60és, - I withdraw my wish.

Naturalplastic, I think I can see what you are getting at but still disagree.

I don't know if I would have been better off being dx'd earlier in life, and there is no way of knowing. I do know that part of my struggles was to prove to myself and others that I am a worthwhile part of society. I don't know if I would have had the same drive had I been dx'd earlier.

I realise being an undx'd aspie has caused me pain, I don't dwell on it, but am now getting an understanding of why it happened.

We could split hairs over the use of regret, but as I am self-diagnosed, I thought it was appropriate.

Knowledge seems to percolate slowly through the health care system. I have learned to listen to what they say and then make my own decisions. I have seen too many examples of there their knowledge is obsolete, or they just don't know.

You obviously think things would have been better for you if you had been dx'd earlier, thats fine. All I am saying is: I don't know, and if I had (been dx'd earlier) then I would not be the same person as I am now.

Lastly, I like being who I am (but then I don't know anything else)

Cheers

How can you compare that line to "the devil made me do it."

Look, you can try all you like in a world where Aspergers isn't widely known or understood that well, but if the proper resources aren't there, it's going to be much much harder.