Do you ever feel like you just can't talk to people?

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They dont understand my problems and think repeat exposure will help. Its a general psychiatric support group for people with depressive symptoms. Its full of a few alcoholics, stress monkeys, young people missing home etc etc

They only have one support group as not enough patients to justify anything specialist.

They have taken me off the support group now as it didnt seem to have any benefit so Im back to work full time now. They seem to be good at that, try something briefly and if it doesnt work bin it.

I have trouble articulating myself. Often, I can't even put my thoughts to words inside my own head, even after spending a hour trying to do so. If I can't put a thought into simple wording then I find it almost impossible to explain what I'm thinking to someone.

Trouble is, I don't struggle only with puttng across complex emotions and feelings, but I struggle with absolutely everything. People who listen to me often describe me as eloquent and articulate, but they are only hearing my words, they often are not hearing what I'm trying to say, the two just don't match up and that's something that they simply can't see. They don't realise that I'm saying what I don't mean and meaning what I don't say.

Conversations are terrible because I just grab the first thing I can find in my head and then assess it for use, often it's not remotely suitable to place into the conversation, I keep grabbing desperately at all those thoughts and by the time I find something reasonable to say, the conversation has moved on.
So I hardly ever speak unless spoken to, I'll answer questions but that's about it. Even with questions, I absolutely hate having to make people wait for my answer, if you've ever watched 'the weakest link' and some one is asked a question and they just freeze up, wasting time and prize money for everyone else, that terribly akward silence, I imagine that person must feel exactly as I do when I'm asked a question in a group and everyone is waiting for me. I freeze and panic and simply can't think. Back at school, I used to just say, "I don't know"(even if I did know the answer) in some lessons, that worked well in french, the teacher just moved on to someone else. Mathematics was considerbaly less forgiving. You'd get pressured until you answered, eventually you'd get a mini lecture revising the necessary method of solving that particular type of equation or whatever and then be expected to answer after that. But in that position I could only focus on the fact that as soon as the 'mini lecture' is over, I'd have to answer the question again, so I'm back to square one, but the collective level of impatience in the class is almost palpable (and I'm not the best at noticing body language and such, obviously) making the situation even worse.

I really hate it when I think of a really witty and hilarious comment to make in a situation then I run it through my mind and contemplate saying it, then I worry that people won't find it as funny as me, or they won't get it, then I decide not to say it just to be safe. Then two minutes later someone else says the exact same thing that I was thinking of and everyone else laughs. Then I wish that I'd said it.

Heh, when I used to write at school my writing was always considered overly concise and really lacking in detail, I always found that extra description just for the sake of fillng out the page was utterly ridiculous, I felt I was writing as much as I needed to in order to communicate my view, no more, no less.

But now I feel like I'm cramming my writing with so many superfluous, redundant words it's unhealthy. So much to say, so much is irrelevant, sorting it is beyond me and so I'll just shut up now before my head explodes. That's the one on my shoulders, in case anyone was getting the wrong mental picture there. I know I was.

I often feel that people are talking around me, and as soon as I hear the words, bus or buses, I jolt up in my seat, with an Austin Powersish expression on my face. I join into the Small Talk game the best that I can, and people think that I'm one of them, until they say the word bus, or buses. Than I dread the thought of having to explain myself. Luckily there's always somebody around to say, "Shelby likes old double decker buses". That way, I don't have to explain myself.

Over the years I've gotten much, much better at making small talk, but I still feel like I'm about 10^10 miles from where the average person is with it. Its OK with close friends and family, I don't really struggle there, but if I meet someone new or am in a group of strangers or somewhere I just don't feel comfortable I just clam up. Every prospective thing I could say, I run it through my head, and it all sounds so scripted and fake that I end up saying nothing. Which probably makes me seem even more odd and withdrawn. This is particularly a problem at work because there are often new people coming and going and people calling me who I haven't spoken to before. I find that I end up conducting as much of my business by email as I possibly can, even emailing back people who have left telephone messages for me. I'm working at the moment on listening to how other people at work talk on the phone and emulating them, but I would have to say it hasn't been very successful so far.

Yes I hate small talks too and they become harder and harder especially when I'm tired, sad or anxious