Stuck for another week, not sure how to cope...

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Well, I got a little bit of peace at least. as*hole actually left for his ski trip early the next morning, so he was gone all day yesterday. There was a party and the house was full of people, but it actually wasn't too bad with as*hole gone. My mother was here, which I was dreading, but actually with her here it was easier. She's very fake around people she doesn't know, so of course she was very pleasant and friendly yesterday, and that fakeness spreads around and no one bothered me at all. I mostly just played with my niece. Then, much to my surprise, in the early evening my sister and all her bridesmaids (basically all the other young people here) went out for her bachelorette party, leaving me all alone with my niece for the night. I played with her, watched some cartoons with her, then fed her and put her to bed, and she went to sleep without any complaint. Then... there was silence. Actual silence. The girls didn't get back until 1:30 in the morning. I put my niece to bed at 8:30 and I was in bed before 10, just absolutely exhausted. I wanted to play video games or something, but I just didn't have it in me.

This morning, everyone left to go decorate for the wedding and do the rehearsal. I'm not in the wedding, so I got to stay home and babysit again. as*hole got back this morning but then went straight back out to join them to set up. My grandmother, her friend (a very sweet elderly lady), and as*hole's mother have been here all day cooking, and I've just been hanging out with the little one. She's in her room now, supposed to be taking a nap. She won't go to sleep, of course, but she's not coming out until she does.

Everyone should be back here soon and there will be more noise and crowds and all that, but I think there will be enough people that if I run off and hide for a while, no one will notice or bother me. Tomorrow is the wedding, so that will be chaos all day, and tomorrow night everyone will be here again, but Sunday they all leave. Sister and as*hole will be off at a hotel for a short honeymoon and as*hole's mother will take my niece, and I'll go with them, spend one night at their place (not looking forward - they're extremely vocal conservative bible thumping gun nuts) and they'll take me to the airport in the morning to go home.

Biggest stress is that there's been snowstorms and more are expected. If I can't get out of the country in time, it could take me days to get home.......

Spread the fakeness!

Ugh... I can't stand this midwestern attitude towards food though. as*hole's mother has so far contributed baked crackers wrapped in bacon, cookies that appear to be mostly crisco, lasagna with so much sausage and hamburger and cheese and salt in it that a single slice might give you a heart attack, and about 10 3-liter bottles of DIET soda.

So, let me get this straight... Her idea of healthy is to eat more meat than anything else (which every other country in the world realizes is the source of most health problems), but no one should be allowed to drink a cup of regular soda? The chemicals in the diet crap are somehow healthier than regular, natural sugar, and somehow they make up for the bacon you've been shoveling in your mouth all week?

The woman has a tiny head and the hugest ass and waist I've ever seen on such a small person. And she constantly walks (or waddles, rather) around with a liter take-out cup of DIET soda, which is fine, of course, because it's diet.

It's one of the things I hate most about visiting the USA. People think that "healthy" means "processed s**t with LOW CARB or LOW FAT written on the package." No one cooks real, actual food, and no one eats a meal without meat. They keep commenting on how slim I am. I tell them all I eat mostly potatoes, bread, rice, eggs, and fresh vegetables, and then they launch into a speech about what a paradox it is that Europeans can eat "like that" without getting fat. Then they DRIVE their CARS about HALF A MILE to go to the supermarket to load up on frosted sugar flakes and frozen hamburger patties (which they eat without the bun, because obviously carbohydrates are bad for you), and stop at the gas station on the way home and waddle in for their liter of DIET ORANGE SODA. It disgusts me to the point where I can't handle making eye contact with these people.

I do get what your saying. I lived in Germany and Iceland for 6 years. But be careful you don't start sounding like Gwyneth Paltrow! At least not in public.

But why if I might ask did you choose Prague? Any reason or just where the job was, etc?

Who is Gwyneth Paltrow and what does she sound like?

I ended up in Prague due to a long series of random, fortuitous coincidences. Then it turned out that I was happy living in Prague, for the first time in my life. So I stayed there and now I'm going to stay there forever.

Everyone here keeps asking me if I have a boyfriend. I'm mostly just interested in girls, but I don't have a girlfriend so I can honestly answer "no" without feeling dishonest. Still, I hate the fact that I can't just say "actually I'm not really into boys" without fear of being beaten to death in a field somewhere.

Seriously, f**k the midwest.

She is an actress and health guru, but has a way of sounding like Marie Antoniette. Here is a link to some of her quotes:

Gyneth Paltrow stupid quotes

I have heard a lot of good things about Prague, but was never there myself. I am surprised to here they are violently anti-gay. Is that in the city as well as countryside? But it does go to show all places/people have their problems. I fell in love with Germany, and have considered moving there. I still might temporarily. But I did come to feel I would never move there permanently as my impression, and what I gathered from other immigrants, was that I could never trully integrate in society, and would always be an outsider. Now my wife they loved! ...blond hair, blue eyed and speaks german fluently. But with my slightly darker looks, I was a 'Sudlander'.

I've lived in Prague for 4.5 years. I've never encountered homophobia and have no problem flirting with and openly dating girls. It's almost a given that women tend to have at least some degree of bisexuality and even when girls have told me they're totally straight, there's no harm done. I have several openly gay American friends (especially guys) who moved to Prague in no small part BECAUSE it's so easy to be gay and out there without fear. Gay couples can even get married, and I could get a 5-year visa just for being in an (unmarried) relationship with a woman, as long as we've lived together at least 6 months. The pride parade last year was huge and fun and the party lasted all weekend.

As for Germans, all the ones I know are so ashamed of what their great-grandparents did that they go out of their way to be tolerant and open. I lived with a lot of German people when I was in Switzerland (and a lot of Swiss-German as well) and never had anything but the nicest impressions. But I've never actually lived in the country. I suppose it would depend on where you live.

I don't really understand the page of "stupid quotes." She's making observations based on her own experiences. I don't agree with everything she says, but I don't see anything wrong with or "stupid" about it.

Oh I see I misunderstood your post. I thought you were saying that it was in Prague you couldn't be open about your orientation. Which was why it surprised me. But now that I understand it right, I am glad you are in a comfortable environment there.

But about Gwyeth, although very successful, she has one of the larger anti-fan groups out there. Stupidity comes in different forms. For example, she would not ask cannibals "Whats for dinner guys?", but she might tell them she was too good for their pot.

I'm supposed to leave tomorrow early afternoon, but there's a snowstorm today and everything is canceled all day and all morning tomorrow. There's a very good chance my flight home will be canceled too. Which will mean I'm stuck here until I can get another flight out.

If I'm stuck here, I might lose it...

I just read this thread and it sounds like a real hell. I hope you've made it out of there by now! I'm sorry you've had a such a tough go of it. Your rant about food and the midwest made laugh out loud, though. I lived in the midwest for some time and that pretty much sums it up. I live in a fairly big coastal city now where the majority of folks are very health-conscious. There is a wide variety of foods available, Whole Foods everywhere, etc. I've forgotten what a nightmare the middle of the country is when it comes to their attitude about food. And yes, the driving a half mile to load up on frosted flakes and frozen patties--ugh! Also, I don't even want to know that Diet Orange Soda is a thing that exist. Blech!

I'm not at my sister's house anymore - she and her new husband are on their honeymoon. I'm at his mother's house with my niece. Which would be fine except for this woman's husband (not as*hole's father). He's an absolute piece of s**t. He yells everything he says and keeps turning the TV up (he says he's hard of hearing but he seems to hear everything I say just fine). My ears hurt and he won't shut up. Also, he won't change the channel from the 24 hour news, which is doing nothing but going on and on about how terrible the snowstorm is. He won't stop talking about how unlikely it is that I'll be able to get my flight tomorrow. On and on and on and on. I had to go to the toilet a little while ago for a little mini-meltdown.

Meanwhile, he won't shut up, one of these people who loves to hear himself talk. He keeps trying to show me all these old photos of Prague when he visited it 20 years ago and demanding to know exactly which things are the same and what has changed. Then he rants on and on about how everything SHOULD be. On the way here, he kept pointing out houses and saying "that'd be a nice place to live, but the first thing I'd do is board up all the windows." He hates light, and heat. Everywhere in this place is freezing cold and dark. I'm running my computer on my lap to keep warm. I'd hide in the other room, but I want to spend time with my niece... It's my last chance...

He is HORRIBLE with her. He keeps doing awful stuff to her. Sitting her on one of her toys then pushing her off. Pinching her nose (blocking the nostrils). Telling her "we're gonna go feed the ducks!" then saying "nevermind! It's too cold!" Just constantly pushing her buttons and laughing when she gets upset. Just now she's trying to run over to me and he keeps blocking her with his leg and knocking her back on the floor. His wife is telling him to stop, but she doesn't do anything about it.

It's almost totally night now, getting really dark in here, and the only light is the television which is warning everyone that tomorrow it'll be cold enough to freeze to death.

Oh, and I think I forgot to mention the dogs. They have two enormous german shepherds. Fortunately they're in cages, but every time they see me pass by, they start barking ferociously.

My whole family was supposed to fly back home today, but their flights were canceled so they're at a hotel. If I get stuck here again tomorrow I might just try to get a taxi to join them there overnight. They drive me insane but at least they're not as bad as this f****r.

EDIT: Now they're trying to force her to pose for a picture. She's been really sick all day, explosive diarrhea, and she's cranky. But they're yelling at her for not sitting still and smiling for this stupid photo.

Sweet Pea hugs

Well my flight has been canceled due to the snowstorm and dangerously frigid temperatures. I'm waiting for the airline to call me back to try to reschedule but I'm really panicked about when I'll be able to get back home. The rest of my family was supposed to fly out yesterday and they're not going until Wednesday now. And if I can't get out by Wednesday, there's supposed to be another storm on Thursday, and it could be even longer before I get home. I'm currently in a hotel room with my dad and his girlfriend, who keeps telling me to "stop complaining" and ordering me not to panic (in such an aggressive tone that it makes me panic even more).

I'm desperately homesick. I haven't been alone for days. I can't even hide anywhere and cry.

I've still been saving the valium. Right now I'm reasonably calm, just trying not to think about it, playing games and stuff. But I'm sure the panic will come back soon enough.

My flight is rebooked for Friday. It's not even certain that one won't be canceled too. At least my sister is letting me stay with her until then - in the guest room (previously occupied by the Best Friend). Without all the chaos of people here and wedding preparations, it's not so bad. And for the first time in a week and a half, I'm sleeping in an actual bed, which is nice. I'll get to spend plenty of time with my niece, which is also nice. I'm trying not to think about Friday. If my flight gets canceled again, I'm screwed. But I'll try to relax and enjoy my time with my niece until then.

Last night in the hotel I somehow got into a conversation with my mother about autism again. She still doesn't believe that I could possibly have it. She's a special ed teacher, so she considers herself an expert in the subject. But she had no idea that they updated the DSM and removed Asperger Syndrome as its own diagnosis (she actually argued with me that it didn't happen, because she would surely know about these things), and then started insisting that they are now reserving the label "autistic" for "ret*d" children who can never learn to speak, and giving those children who are intelligent and able to communicate a label of PDD-NOS instead. That's what they're trying to do with my (clearly autistic) niece (different niece). She showed every sign of severe autism until age 3, when she finally started learning to talk thanks to a treatment center with great speech therapy - now she only shows all the *other* signs of autism. But now the people working with her are saying "oh nevermind, she's DEFINITELY NOT autistic, because she learned to talk." I wanted to punch someone's throat out for that s**t. That's like saying "Oh, we thought you had a tumor, but it turns out it's not malignant, so we're just going to say you had an unusual growth." Or "We thought you had severe OCD, but because you learned to control your impulses with medication and therapy, we're just going to call you a person who likes to keep things tidy." You get the idea.

I need to get the f**k out of this country.

Well I finally made it home. But my suitcase didn't. They lost it. They have no idea where it is. It's been over 24 hours since I arrived. All my clothes were in there. And many photos, which I figured were too heavy to bother putting in my carry-on. Not to even mention all the gifts and things I bought in America.

I have to go back to work tomorrow. I have to focus on planning my lessons despite my 6-hour time difference jet lag. Right now I can't even eat. I'm too stressed and worried about my bag. It's perfectly possible they never find it. The dress I wore to my sister's wedding is in that bag. My f*****g eczema cream is in there, since they won't let us take CREAM on the plane anymore. And obviously, thanks to the stress, my eczema is out of control.

I don't know if anyone's even reading this anymore. If they just find the bag and tell me it's on its way, I don't even care much if it takes a few days to get here. I just want to know it's not lost forever. My apartment is a disaster and I have no food. I'm close to finally just taking that valium, just to try to reset my nervous system. I'm really starting to lose it. I want this nightmare to be OVER.

i'm sorry you had such a horrible trip, and I'm glad to hear you're finally home. Try to do nice things for yourself this week. You're probably exhausted. Fingers crossed for the suitcase....