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Sweetleaf
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22 Mar 2014, 8:05 pm

KB8CWB wrote:
I know each is an individual and what works for me might not work for you. I find the meds usually make things worse. Either from side effects or having the opposite intended effect. Add to that some are addictive and I hate dependency of any sort. I have been thru some very low points in life. One thing has always kept me from going over the edge is music. Maybe that sounds dumb but for me it works. And it is mood dependent what I listen to. Mostly I will admit very dark music which everyone says that's so morbid and would drive them nuts. But for me, it has the opposite effect. So as dumb as it sounds I listen to varying kinds of music depending upon my mood. Admittedly mostly dark metal. YMMV



I am actually very into music, various kinds but I guess mostly metal and psychedelic rock, but yeah I do find listening to music to be helpful sometimes...sadly its still just not enough at times, and sometimes I feel so horrible I can't even stand to listen to any music...it does suck since music is something I really enjoy or want to enjoy.....I do hate how depression can effect that.


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KB8CWB
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22 Mar 2014, 8:14 pm

I won't lie, depression affects how we feel about all things. I have been going thru a fairly nasty spell as of lately myself and sadly I just sit and don't do anything. No music, no hobbies, don't want to eat, if anything I just want to sleep. Just getting on here since I found this forum has helped some. I find myself sharing only so much however due to trust issues. Mostly during the day I try to find something to occupy myself with. Night time is the worst however. It has been messing up my sleep badly. I wish I had an answer, I just try to take my mind off of it with something and sometimes it works and others it doesn't. :(

Oh and I am very into most all kinds of metal myself. (waits for strange looks I usually get being an old fart). My music tastes are rather peculiar for someone of my age.



Sweetleaf
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22 Mar 2014, 10:22 pm

Toy_Soldier wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I am thinking of volunteering at an animal shelter, just one idea I've had as something useful to do...though not so sure I am even ready to do something like that just yet. And someday I think it would be cool to learn to make beer and maybe start a micro-brewery not sure how realistic that idea is but I guess it is something to think about.

As for now though its certainly a matter of just making it through the days and try not to get too stressed and making sure to stay safe like keep track of if I am in danger of trying to cause myself harm as I really am not all that stable, and sometimes not so sure I will reach a point of more stability.


That makes sense, and only you know when you are ready to make the next step. Also consider that the two things, being safe and feeling engaged in life can be related to taking new steps. So taking those steps as soon as is feasible is a part of feeling better and perhaps even more stable. I don't know honestly how it is in your case, but am just projecting what I learned along the way as something that worked for me. And when I felt empty and too inward looking, found outward movement the best catalyst for changing that mood. It doesn't fix the innermost problems per se, but can put you in a better frame of mind to deal with them better. Have some confidence of success. Your a bright person upstairs. :wink:



Well I am thinking of someday creating one of the most awesome breweries ever, but it will take some time...but what I would really like to do is brew beer with cannabis and make some bomb ass colorado beers....but it will take some time to get there, but that is eventually what I'd like to get into as far as emloyment....hopefully the being on SSI wont hold me back from such oppurtunities so i could go off it and work at some point.


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sly279
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23 Mar 2014, 12:44 am

I get the needing to keep distracted. can't do it all the time though atleast theirs sleep. Have work this week but its only 5 hours or less a day :( each term its less and less. My only happy time during the year .

hugs. Hope it gets better for you.



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28 Mar 2014, 1:56 am

I haven't been fallowing your post much & I didn't know you were finally able to get SSI but I'm really glad you did. I like what ToySoldier said. One of the things that helped me when I was depressed was getting a job because it got me out of the house, kept me busy(distracted) & I was lucky & worked with some good people. My girlfriend has depression & anxiety along with other emotional stuff & has been struggling to find the rite antidepressant. Her psych mentioned how doing things can help with depression & I do think that doing something could help her because she says how she needs to feel a sense of purpose but I don't think she's ready for that rite now due to still trying to find the rite meds to help things enough to allow her to & she has some physical things she's trying to get treatment for. Anyways he suggested a couple add on med ideas that I'll mention incase you haven't tried or looked in to them. The ADHD med Concerta is a stimulant but might could help improve depression. Cynomel/Liothyronin is a thyroid hormone that can also help improve depression & energy. Vistaril/Hydroxyzine is an antihistamine that can help anxiety. I take Buspar for anxiety & it's the only med specially for anxiety instead of other things. It's specially only for the physical symptoms of generalized anxiety but me & some others have found it helps with the mental too. It can be prescribed with Valium or other benzos but it has to be taken regularly to work; like antidepressants it can take awhile to build up in the system. It seems to be a real hit & miss med & think lots of the potential side-effects tend to be noticed shortly after starting which can cause some people to quit but me & some others haven't noticed any.
Your welcome to PM me if you'd like to talk about this or like a friend to talk to.


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Sweetleaf
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28 Mar 2014, 9:53 pm

nick007 wrote:
I haven't been fallowing your post much & I didn't know you were finally able to get SSI but I'm really glad you did. I like what ToySoldier said. One of the things that helped me when I was depressed was getting a job because it got me out of the house, kept me busy(distracted) & I was lucky & worked with some good people. My girlfriend has depression & anxiety along with other emotional stuff & has been struggling to find the rite antidepressant. Her psych mentioned how doing things can help with depression & I do think that doing something could help her because she says how she needs to feel a sense of purpose but I don't think she's ready for that rite now due to still trying to find the rite meds to help things enough to allow her to & she has some physical things she's trying to get treatment for. Anyways he suggested a couple add on med ideas that I'll mention incase you haven't tried or looked in to them. The ADHD med Concerta is a stimulant but might could help improve depression. Cynomel/Liothyronin is a thyroid hormone that can also help improve depression & energy. Vistaril/Hydroxyzine is an antihistamine that can help anxiety. I take Buspar for anxiety & it's the only med specially for anxiety instead of other things. It's specially only for the physical symptoms of generalized anxiety but me & some others have found it helps with the mental too. It can be prescribed with Valium or other benzos but it has to be taken regularly to work; like antidepressants it can take awhile to build up in the system. It seems to be a real hit & miss med & think lots of the potential side-effects tend to be noticed shortly after starting which can cause some people to quit but me & some others haven't noticed any.
Your welcome to PM me if you'd like to talk about this or like a friend to talk to.


I don't do well with anti-histimines, buspar gave me a bad headace....and while I think a stimulant type med could help with depression, obviously stimulants can also somewhat contribute to anxiety so I feel I have to be careful about that sometimes even caffine agrevates my anxiety too much though other times it helps my energy and doesn't add to anxiety so just not sure how I would feel about consistently taking a stimulant....but yeah still open to try other meds then ones I have tried. Lately I have been feeling somewhat ok.....but that doesn't usually last very long though I am glad I've been feeling a bit better even if it is just for a while as I was really feeling like I was on the edge.


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01 Apr 2014, 3:14 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I don't do well with anti-histimines, buspar gave me a bad headace....and while I think a stimulant type med could help with depression, obviously stimulants can also somewhat contribute to anxiety so I feel I have to be careful about that sometimes even caffine agrevates my anxiety too much though other times it helps my energy and doesn't add to anxiety so just not sure how I would feel about consistently taking a stimulant....but yeah still open to try other meds then ones I have tried. Lately I have been feeling somewhat ok.....but that doesn't usually last very long though I am glad I've been feeling a bit better even if it is just for a while as I was really feeling like I was on the edge.


An old corny saying I always think of and live by as much as I can is 'Make hay while the sun shines.' Glad you are feeling a bit better, or at least a bit further from the edge.

I have struggled with anxiety in multiple forms since I was probably 15. There are multiple aspects and types and causes and the situation and what is needed shifts... and this makes it hard to get a handle on. One thing I experienced all along was unexplained dramatic mood shifts. It took a long time to realize I had an about monthly manic episode of 3-4 days. And strangely usually around the near full/full moon. Its not like clockwork though. Instead of one monthly big event, I have had two spaced lesser events, etc. But learning to be aware of when it was happening really improved things as I came to realize my thoughts were unreliable in those periods, and not trust or take them seriously. Along with this is a more or less constant elevated anxiety level (more then normal people have) and also episodes of intense anxiety when certain things happen, some real, some phobic.