My Aspie bf is obsessed with sex. Help!

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Anyway - to the OP, I think the first four or five answers have it right. If he's making you feel that uncomfortable and worried, and he won't resepctfully listen and respond to what you say, there's not much to do but get out.

Do you live together?

[Moved from Love and Dating to The Haven]

Also, some posters really do need to show more respect and sensitivity for the OP.

She likes some other guy, want's out of this relationship and wants to make it all his fault.
imo

Wwwwwwhat?

LOL, I am not even slightly suggesting she is a slut, I simply used two extremes of a spectrum to demonstrate that life can come up with hard issues for anyone.

I AM suggesting and encouraging that she can be a Strong Woman and that she has a tough but "pretty common problem" and I fully believe her capable of handling this difficulty in an adult and gracious manner.

Laura, can you try to separate the lack of support from friends and family from what it is your friends and family are concerned about with him? Maybe it would help you decide what is right for you. I guess I'm worried for you if the people who care about you and know him don't like him and you being together. They could be wrong, but even if they're too harsh, I guess I'm wondering whether you agree with any of the concerns they have.

The trouble in this situation is, even if he's a great guy, if you and he want different things, it might make it impossible to be happy together. And that's the bottom line to me, is whether you can be happy with one another and be happy making the other happy.

Now this is an incredibly difficult position that you're in. And it's not quite so common.
This is really, really hard and I don't have any good advice that you don't already know in your heart.

The only effective thing you can do is to sever all contact
1. message (email) that it's over (don't try it face to face again, that's too brutal hardcore)
2. include that you wont give a reason ever (maybe that'll decrease the length of time that he bugs you for a reason. none that you give will be accepted and that's frustrating)
3. include that he's not a bad guy, that you couldn't think of anything he could have done different or better (even if you can, see parentheses #2)
4. tell him respond only by email & that after 24 hours he must never contact you again for at least a year (gives him some hope and a reason to "be a good boy" and respect your space. and a chance to chill a bit. This is not a promise of romance!) (gives him a chance to at least email a couple things to "get it out of his system," which it wont but it'll help. you don't have to respond or even read them, I suggest making a new email folder and have it all automatically filtered to that folder.)
5. don't come over here because I will call the police the instant I see you coming. (don't go to the door to warn him you'll get sucked into talk-weirdness)
6. include "don't make me get a restraining order because I will."

Cry for a week then put him out of your mind, go out with your friends to do something fun, and move on with your life. Maybe he'll be cool in the future but that's a decision for a later date.

I seriously don't envy you this situation and I'm sorry for you.
It will get over. Eventually.


(Also, sorry I said I didn't think you'd be back, that was rude)

laura, don't pay any attention to this guy, he's an idiot whose experience with relationships is purely theoretical. Just get away from your boyfriend. His emotional problems are not yours.

ETA: if he hassles you, get away, then call either the local women's shelter or the National Domestic Violence hotline. Their number and other info is at thehotline.org.

Last edited by tarantella64 on 20 May 2014, 6:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Most problems can be solved by working together fairly as two equals, but that seems to be more the exception then the rule in relationships. I have the impression he isn't ready in temperament or maturity.

If you wish to be free of this, try your best to be very logical and firm. It is too bad you are not getting the support you need from family or friends. Dumping ex's can be a pain in the butt and having someone to back you up helps.

I can see several reasons why you would think this, fortunately I didn't write this for you.
I wrote this for someone that was motivated enough to pay attention to what I said rather than get butt hurt because I didn't/couldn't polish it into sparkly, superficial, NTspeek.

There are two ways to answer a request for advice.

1. Address clearly and unambiguously what one sincerely believes is the core issue.
2. Blow patronizing, pointless, feel-good smoke up their tush-hole because of a massively disrespectful and incredibly arrogant belief that they're too weak-minded to discuss the tough issues that adversely affect their life -even after they've asked to discuss them with us.

If I could do number 2, then I wouldn't be ASD.
You must know that people with ASD are often seen as cold and robotic but I answered this as unbiasedly as I could (which is pretty damn unbiased) and I answered this earnestly and in good faith.
Your unfortunate scorn will not be able to cure my ASD, no one else's has, though I'd pay good money if it could.

I am not angry, nor annoyed, nor offended by your opinion. My Executive Dysfunction doesn't let me hold a grudge either.

I've already written more than I want to about this. ttfn

Ouch.

I'm not here to answer you girls, I'm here to answer laura14801 this is her thread.

You can view it as "unfortunate scorn," if you wish, but there are other people who would view it as sticking up for someone who was being bullied and demeaned for no good reason.



Then please consider letting it go. This thread is not about you.

^ This.

Come on 1401b - you've made your point, it's not been welcomed, and you've said you'll leave the thread.
So do it, please.

Sounds like an abusive relationship you are in based on the details you gave us with the second post, so this goes beyond the feeling of being uncomfortable. I can only really say that I hope you find a way out of this as as safely as you possibly can.

Well my take on this
If the guy is otherwise good then you should help him with this over sex drive

Dont let him watch pronography
Maybe there are some medicines to reduce the sex drive
maybe he can just exercise and the issue can be reduced
i think he needs counselling

if the guy is any way horrible plus this major problem he as
then its better to leave him