meh

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Yes, this is very true. Women generally don't see "nice smiley men" as the above poster says. Women want a man who knows what he wants and how he will go about getting it, with confidence in his abilities or aptitude to reach his goals. Not being a nice smiley nor an arrogant so and so - but at that midpoint with clear values and goals.

why? o.O I really don't get this. why does there always have to be a new goal to achieve. people like that seem like they have no real life and not having a goal only makes them realise it. like how I have to keep doing stuff to not realize I'm depressed. doing things doesn't stop my depression it just distracts me and I should probably work to solve the root problem.

personally If i was you'd i'd be content with the job and enjoy my hobbies.

I don't make the rules, I just play by them. If I made the rules I wouldn't have gotten a job in the first place.

I think it's a matter of finding work life balance. True there are some people who by choice or nessessity spend every waking moment working but if we're lucky we can find work, life balance. If we're lucky we can work 40 hours per week instead of 100.

I think this must be true. Several times the question has been asked on Yahoo Answers, "Do girls like shy guys?" and always the girls answer "Yes, I think shy guys are cute". They lie. They don't find shy guys cute, they find them repulsive.

As for not being nice, I find the subtleties confusing. How do I not be nice without being mean. Girls don't like mean guys but if they also don't like nice guys it seems like a catch-22.

most women are hot and attractive.
um... the girl could I don't know. go ask the guy out..... just a thought.
I also super not good looking.

the bunch who succeed did though. theres certain realities when it comes to the human body. certain parts that can't be replaced and that without the body won't live. like people who blow their whole head up. or shooting your heart instead of your head etc. hitler used cyanide and bullet. I don't think theres any undoing cyanide seems to still be used today as a quick acting non undoing death for agents and such. quite a few people who try suicide do it for the attention. like you don't tell people you going do it before you do it. you wait til people are gone for hours and do it. anyways. it's complicated subject I'm sure most upset people have thought about it. same as working security and thinking about all possible actions or escape routes.


actually yes. some of my friends do make fun of me for it one ex friend did it alot along with telling me no woman will ever date me.

well a better paying job won't guarantee me a date, but atleast I'll be able to actually message women. currently I can't as 98% of them list that if you don't have a job you can't message them.

so you're more driven by the status of a gf?
for me it has nothing to do with others having a gf or not having one. ITs the need of companionship and being held. and that each day without such things drives me more and more depressed. more and more lonely.
I don't care about keeping up with others. quite frankly if I could get a gf then I wouldn't care about getting a higher paying job. I'd rather have a job I enjoy that also supports my lifestyle then a job i hate that pays way more then I need. but its the only way women will consider me so job I hate it is
I'm a mordern simple life kind of guy. I like tech and stuff but I am modern minimalist rather then those who live without tech and happy. I just don't need much or compare myself to other guys.outside of trying to get a gf.
I guess the key word would be uncompetitive .

you make 28 an hour?
idk that depends on what you see as hot. I find most women attractive. but I don't' base attractive off models. actually some models are creepy.

idk people here say its bad to blame anything on women, therefore everything is my fault

so pretend like I don't care about her and never get her gifts?

what if you're a submissive guy? i know most men are manily dominate types but not all are.
I have goals, but they aren't the same as others such seen not ambition. but shouldn't goals just be about doing things that make you happy. I'm not like everyone else I don't have wants to be rich or climb company ladders. I'd rather spend my time doing fun things that I enjoy. I don't want to spend my time being fake ambitious as it in the end will just mean I wasted my life depressed trying to make others happy by appearing to want the same things they do.

how is being nice deceptive? do you really think everyone is mean and selfish and that anyone who is nice is just pretending to achieve some goal.

the last part is why I hate ambition. I have achieved my goals they just aren't as far reaching goals as others so I'm said to be non ambiguous. seems quite spiteful actually. sorry my goals were small and obtainable.

goals are simply to have a job and enjoy my hobbies. one day I'd like to start a family. only goals I failed at was getting a gf.

I set off to go to college I did. i set off to get a degree I did. my goal to join the military was a failure cause of unchangeable outside prevention. I set a goal to get certain guns I did. I got my ps4. soon i'll have a new job I hope in security though its slow going cause one must start somewhere and build experience. and yet I apparently lack ambition o.O. so I hate the word cause its one of those false meaning words meant to make others with different wants and dreams feel bad about themselves. if it wasn't then people wouldn't look at me and others and say we lack it. we had goals and we met them.

othing thing I hate about it is it means you have to constantly be moving forward. when you do that you might just miss something great. moving from island to island what if we just stopped on one and made a home. don't remember what movie/show that was from. ambition seems like a double edge sword to me. people spending their whole lifes making new goals and trying to meet them just to make another rather than stopping to enjoy life. I just don't think that way. give me a job, home, and gf and I'd be content to never try for anything else. I don't dream of being the ceo of some place or whatever.

Definitely a significant fraction of them. I'd say virtually all of them with an age less than 30 and a BMI less than 25, which is quite a few of them. Such women are not rare.

Anyway, none of the not rich, not confident, not good looking guys I know have girlfriends that match that description.

It's not common. I know it would be easier for us if it was but girls also feel shy about guys. They'd feel shy about asking a guy out and they feel shy about being rejected by a guy.

Sometimes a girl will ask you to ask her out with her eyes. For guys like us, that can be hard to read. Sometimes a shy girl will get smitten with a guy and then avoid his gaze and not talk to him because she's shy. That's even harder to detect.

...partly. I really do want a gf but a lot of it is I hate it when people say I'm a freak for being a virgin. Then I start believing them and I start thinking the same thing to myself and this leads to self-loathing and I start thinking of all the stupid things I did in the past like times when girls where into me but I screwed it up somehow

Also getting a prostitute seems like cheating... and it just seems to weird to do it with a stranger.

What does IT stand for?

Let's say I got very lucky. It's unusual for people without a degree to get that much but Specialisterne set up shop in Adelaide and said it was their goal to end discrimination buy handing out full wage jobs to aspies, no qualifications or work experience needed.

It started in Denmark and the American who was running it said she'd run the same program in various parts of America. This was the first time Specialisterne had come to Australia. For the four week assessment I got paid $18.89 an hour but when the actual job starts in early January it will be $28 an hour.

In the past I worked for another organization who wanted to end discrimination and provide work for the disabled. There I got $3 per hour and I think much of the work I did was just fake tasks they'd made up. They said they wanted to make the disabled for "included" in society but getting paid a pittance and doing fake tasks did not make me feel included. They later got sued by someone (successfully).

I think without the generosity of Specialisterne an uneducated aspie such as myself would never get a $55,000 per year job.

I don't think they need to look like a model to look hot. I like it when they have character. Just so long as they have a BMI of less than 25, which includes roughly half of young women, so I'm not looking for that one in a million in looks, more that one in a million who has a perfectly compatible personality for me (whatever that is). There's this girl at work who may or may not be into me but I'm just not sure if we're compatible.

They shouldn't say that! That's sexist. Women are equal, that means they can be equally blamed for societies ills.

On the other hand I can't blame women for the stupid things I did in the past (there's a certain pediatrician who may be partly responsible though).

I wouldn't get her gifts because in my case it would seem creepy, like I'm trying to hard. There's a lot of things I don't do for fear of looking desperate.

You don't lack ambition. You wanted to go to college or join the military? I never even tried to do either one. You want a job as a security guard? That's an ambitious goal.

And your other goal of starting a family is an undertaking so humungous it scares the s**t out of me. I couldn't handle half that much responsibility but if you feel you're up to it than maybe you can handle the responsibility. That's an ambitious goal too.

Women are not after money they are after a man. Certain things prove to a woman your are a man. Money/work/sucess is just an easy yardstick for women. Most women i've come into contact don't even consider them standards, it's more like a shortcut. You could be proud about having no friends, you could brag about your simple life, you could say how much your hobbies make you happy. Feeling bad about these things or complaining about them is showing insecurity (woman hate insecurity and men who complain). You can be secure in your version of success and people will gravitate towards that. I told my last girlfriend on our first date with a smirk of pride that I had no friends or an intrest in friends. She told me months later that it struck her at the time as mysterious and attractive. She was thinking in her head the whole time "who says that? Where did this guy come from?" If your having a hard time attracting girls due to appearance then a style revision can completely change how women see you. The clothing really does make the man. The other most important thing is your hair style, find what really works on you. Get these things right and I belive any man has a chance.

Acting netural towards a woman is much different then being nice to a women to achieve a goal (to make your girlfriend) Keeping a neutral tone and preserving your integrity is not being mean. You can be mean in a playful way and it can show the girl you are not a push over. But being a jerk is just being a jerk, to anyone!

That could work. Even if I don't have the same hobbies as the girl, that could work.

Wait a minute, isn't bragging meant to be a turn off for women?

But I really am insecure. Does that mean I have to lie about how secure I am?

Ha, I just had a thought. After I left school in my late teens and early twenties I refused to work. I was gainfully unemployed and damned proud of it. It was my way of sticking it to the man. At the time I thought I was getting out of being a wage slave and labouring to make someone else rich.

Maybe if I'd said that to some girl at the time she would've thought I was cool and rebellious... or maybe not.

I was a rebel at school. I used to antagonize the teachers. Some of the girls liked me for it. If I knew then what I know now I could've liked them back. A wasted opportunity but it's a good demonstration how girls like rebels.

That make sense. I got a new wardrobe last month and then this girl was hitting on me.

New hair cut style too? So plain and short isn't good enough anymore? I still think it looks OK on me.

That explains it.

Going for a coffee is a date. She knows exactly what is going on and would not have said yes if she wasn't into you. Now is your time to shine, keep the conversation simple, your just going to be asking her questions and keep the conversation about yourself light. All my past relationships have started with a coffee date, after that it's usually something low key like sushi. Do not take her to a movie, you need to talk as much as possible to this girl. If your nervous she's probably just as nervous. The pressure is on her to impress you. She might be judging herself more then she would be judging you. Even after the date she will wonder if she said something stupid or embarrassing that lessened her chance with you.

I think I might see her later today. I could ask her out again but... I don't know if I should.

We get along really well but there's just no psysical attraction. Well, not as I see her. I don't know how she sees me.

I just worry, maybe I should go with her because an inexperienced guy like me can never do any better. Maybe I should pair up before I'm too old. Most of my dates have been with girls who looked like her but since then I've lost 115lb and got a better job. Does that mean I can aim for a higher league of girl? Or maybe it was never about my weight or my job. Maybe the whole time my league was determined by my confidence and experience.

I want to keep my options open but that might be stringing her along. I know that dating can determine compatibility but that might only be for factors I don't already know about.

Sigh. This hotter girl at music group was staring at me a few times but I'm not sure if she was into me or if she thougth "Why is that creepy guy staring at me?" If I hung around for longer I coyld better judge her interest in me but soon I have to quite the music group for work. Maybe in her mind I've already missed the window of opportunity (I think different girls operate on different time scales).

whats BMI?


it is. why I want a gf.



Let's say I got very lucky. It's unusual for people without a degree to get that much but Specialisterne set up shop in Adelaide and said it was their goal to end discrimination buy handing out full wage jobs to aspies, no qualifications or work experience needed.
....

I think without the generosity of Specialisterne an uneducated aspie such as myself would never get a $55,000 per year job.[/quote]

wish something like that existed here.


O.o

i mean after dating. or during dating. or even in a ltr seems gift giving is just bad idea.



if only women would see it that way.
I got pretty much almost all way in shape to join. gov says no.
idk security is hardly a fireman or ceo of a big company.

have ended up with another temp job. fire watch at mill. :S really anxious. only 18th-29th except christmas. not sure If i'll try to get 24th off since that's when family gets together, not sure I belong with family gathering anyways

It stands for body mass index. To figure it out, you take your height in meters, square it and then divide that number by your weight in kilos.

The system was devised to measure how fat people are. It's not accurate to use people's weight as a measure of fatness because 70 KG would be normal for someone who's six feet tall but overweight for someone who's five feet tall. Or 50 KG would be normal for someone who's five feet tall but underweight for someone who's six feet tall. That's why it's easier to use BMI instead. A drawback of the system is that it doesn't account for muscular types. e.g. a body builder would have a high BMI but he wouldn't be fat.

A BMI of more than 25 is considered overweight and a BMI of less than 18.5 (formally 17.5) is considered to be underweight.


wish something like that existed here.[/quote]
Perhaps it will one day. The American running the program said she'd run it in Delaware and California. Maybe one day she'll come to your state.


I'm sure women still like it better than unemployment.

They like it MUCH better than unemployment.

so an ausie thing.

think its body mass here. though not sure how they calculate it.

I don't know I'd thought they'd like any job over unemployment but I was dead wrong

just wish I could learn to accept being alone for the rest of my life even if it is only 8 years.

Jesus H. Christ!

Seriously, man....just invite a chick to a barbecue!