Melody wrote:
Does anyone else feel A LOT of anger/resentment towards people from your past for being so mean towards you, even if you KNOW in most cases it was only because they were unaware you has Aspergers? If so, how do you deal with it?
One can't stop habits through sheer force of will, IMHO. Distraction-substitution of something more interesting to think about, if one can find another thought that's more compelling, appealing-that gives one a break from the previous mental content. I can't talk myself out of my emotional reactions, but I try to be open to any tiny little event that gives me a different thought or feeling.
Such as: Noticing out the window a large bird flying over the nearby hills. Making a cup of tea-going through the motions of something I enjoy in hopes that at some point during that activity I will enjoy it, to some extent. Stretching my back by lying down for a few seconds while waiting for page to load. Watching my cat, scratching her face, neck, and ears. Anything that's relatively harmless, that may distract me however briefly, from the bad feelings that overwhelm me. Mental or physical "action"-just whatever whets one's curiousity enough to take over one's brain temporarily.
I can't "let go of things" as the saying goes, so all I can do is try to find something new to metaphorically get ahold of. Perhaps, in time, I'll feel better-can only go forward, and try to re-frame, re-contextualize, make use of my past painful experiences. Not sure how, I don't claim to have it all figured out.
Melody wrote:
I feel jealous of the little children who have been diagnosed with Aspergers at a young age and are getting the support that will help them avoid the kinds of situations I've had to deal with confused and alone. I'm happy for them, but I feel jealous at the same time and angry at myself and people in my life. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?
Feel our society is getting more extreme at both ends, in terms of simultaneously becoming more & less tolerant of diversity-whether differing "gifts", "ability profiles", or "accomodations needed for this individual to function in this environment". I'm glad I am long-through w/school, because kids (and adults, too) these days seem even meaner than "in my day". There are plenty of kind people, but the unkind ones frighten me.
Was dx'd at age 31, 3 years ago. I'm glad I wasn't stigmatized (as I would've been-I knew how very
not like me the special ed. students seemed) as child by having label, but I miss the support & understanding I
might have received from my family.
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*"I don't know what it is, but I know what it isn't."*
07 Apr 2007, 5:02 pm
