Sick of being the weirdo that no one loves

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Eisbaer
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 10 Oct 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 50
Location: NY, USA

24 Oct 2015, 3:27 pm

MissBearpolar wrote:

Eisbaer wrote:

I'm like you. I'm incredibly lonely and it looks like I'm going to stay that way.

I always think I'm showing interest in a girl when it turns out they find me "odd", "nerdy" or the latest one being "too open" and I don't realize I'm conveying that. I have the problem of sharing too much about myself because I can't understand the "logic" of "normal" people being that it's preferable to hide or not disclose things about yourself to potential mates.

I also assume women just aren't interested in me and sometimes another guy will later tell me that a particular girl was showing obvious signs and flirting but I didn't pick up on it. Even then I sometimes assume the guy telling me this is picking on me or just messing with me somehow.

I get it completely and being lonely really sucks.

"Too open" is usually telling intensely personal details to a person you don't know very well. So uncomfy.

Odd and nerdy, you may as well embrace. I'm odd, the BF is odd, most of my friends are odd. My interests are somewhat odd. Non-odd friends would not enjoy steampunk, the occasional comic convention and hiking trips in Bhutan.

Yea I've stopped being "too open" and now I'm dubbed unfriendly. As you said, it's much easier to embrace the weirdness.

P.s. Glad to see I'm not the only polar bear here :mrgreen:

MissBearpolar
Raven
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Joined: 24 Oct 2015
Age: 44
Posts: 107

24 Oct 2015, 3:45 pm

Eisbaer wrote:

MissBearpolar wrote:

Eisbaer wrote:

Yea I've stopped being "too open" and now I'm dubbed unfriendly. As you said, it's much easier to embrace the weirdness.

P.s. Glad to see I'm not the only polar bear here :mrgreen:

My default setting's odd and I'm cool with it. I think it must be awful and exhausting to not embrace odd, if you're simply wired as odd. (Can't imagine not being an aspie, wouldn't want to be since that's mean I'm not actually me).

I don't think I'm unfriendly... I'm just, ummmm, not a people person.

blue_bean
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26 Oct 2015, 3:58 am

Hurtloam is female, people.

The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Oct 2015, 1:12 pm

blue_bean wrote:

Hurtloam is female, people.

You've ruined my prank plan.

envirozentinel
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26 Oct 2015, 11:14 pm

Thanks, Blue Bean, for pointing out that Hurtloam is a member of the fair gender.

To both the lonely females and males who have posted here, I just want to say: don't give up hope. There are both other guys and girls out there who will embrace your quirkiness and will love you. The problem is to find them!

Having similar hobbies or interest groups does help.

I have a partner who accepts my own quirkiness but unfortunately it's currently a long distance relationship due to a combination of complex factors.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

27 Oct 2015, 9:12 am

She probably has found a boyfriend because she stopped posting.

This always happens to WP ladies who post venting/complaining threads . My observation over years: viewtopic.php?t=172268 (Jeez, my English has really improved ever since).

I hope she's humping with some hot stud while we speak.

Suncatcher
Toucan
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Joined: 3 Aug 2014
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 257

27 Oct 2015, 10:05 am

Eisbaer wrote:

lostproperty wrote:

Finding somebody is only half the problem, keeping hold of them can be just as stressful. I'm not so sure it's worth it.

I agree. The struggle to keep a relationship going is tiring and takes focus away from hobbies and interests anyway.

This is precisely how i feel!

It seems that i have no problem getting a girlfriend if i really want to. Yet, i am single now for 3 years because i dont feel the 'drive' to look for one..

Maybe i am less sex-oriented.. i mean, sex is great.. but i dont even miss it after 3 years.
The longing for a relationship makes everyone depressed. Me too. But the goods dont outweight the bads for me.

My ideal relationship would be like spending 2/3 days a week with eachother, then the rest of the week will be alone time to mentally recharge. This is where MY relationships usually fall apart after 2/3 months or so. The first months you can get away with only spending a few days a week with her.. then the relationship starts to demand MORE time, stops me from 'recharging' and i get less energy and motivation the longer it lasts.

Also, unexpected phonecalls from girlfriends who just want to hear your voice after a few days PISSES ME OFF

Only call me ifyou want to exchange information.

No, i am not interested in how your day was and i dont really care for that social BS if i am doing my own thing in my room.

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