How do i find what i truly want?

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Know that feeling, my own obsessions have pretty much been killed off by depression...the only way I find around it is to try and relax about it and do just a little gaming or reading, or whatever you want to do each day for now. I try and make myself do something other than this forum for a little time each day. Do you get out much at all? Like out walking... I am guessing your weight will be an issue there. It is a cycle..the more depressed you get, the more you eat, the more you eat, the more depressed you get because it makes you less healthy and affects your appearance. Is there any form of exercise you might be able to do to try and lift your mood?

I just had the most wonderful idea.

Do you do tabletop battle recreations, to look at the strategies used by the leaders?

If you do, or intend to, why don't you name some of the infantry after those bullies, etc and have them in the front lines, or whoever got massacred. It may sound childish, but who knows, it might work?

And if you're interested in military strategy, have you ever read anything by Julius Caesar about his battles?

Find a new interest , something that you can live for.

Depression is temporary, wait it out. If it's long-term, try drugs. Don't waste a life in sadness or by cutting it short.

Graelwyn:I have no moviation to excerise whatsoever.

Quatermass:Uh...that won't do much if anything...

Mitch8817:Doing drugs?!?! are you on crack? and no i can't wait for it to go away.

Because i could break VERY soon,and when i do,it won't be pretty...

Well if you are not going to at least try anyone's suggestions, I do not see that anyone can be of any use to you.

It was just a suggestion. Learning and revenge in one, I thought...

The only thing that might actually help me is sleep,because whenever i wake up after a depressing night,i usually don't feel as bad.

Is this an American thing - that when I say drugs, people instantly jump to the idea that I mean illegal ones. Let me be clear here: I mean medication. Medication dammit! Now and forever!

Yeah, I agree with Graelwyn - you seem to be actively trying to not let people help you and looking for any reason to dismiss people's ideas. You move as if to want help (you obviously created this topic for a reason, despite claiming that everything is worthless and nothing can be done to help), yet brush it all off.

Too many excuses, you have.

Medication won't do s\anything,i had meds a few years ago,but they didn't do anything.

Seriously man, you need to get out of that negative attitude. You'd be suprised at how better things work if you believe that they will. Self placebo-ing. Work with us, here.

From my own experience with suicidal depression (I still have scars, physically and mentally) anything that you try to do, so long as it has a result, will make you feel better. The difficulty is in getting yourself to actually start doing it, which is something that no one can really help you with - it's just a case of willpower, and forcing yourself.

Anything like yoga, martial arts, a sport, learning how to draw manga, learning japanese, going for walks, painting or learning how to program html will gradually help, as it diverts focus away from your problems, and onto something new, and more importantly, onto the results of what you're accomplishing.

It's difficult to snap out of depression. Really, really difficult, but you can do it even if it takes time.

And like Inventor said, small goals are also good. Setting yourself something to do, and sticking to it - even if its just trying something new once, or doing something you used to enjoy but haven't done in a while.

It took me like 10 years to realize what it was that I truly wanted to do...
In the process I had to go through some terrible depression...
What I can say is that, it's not an easy process but please do try to hang in there...because your life goal does get clearer and clearer as time goes by...
I think what we need when we are going through depression are coping methods...
Taking a walk, listening to music, getting some sleep, talking about your feelings to someone...whatever it is that helps you relax and helps to alleviate the pains even if only temporarily...
It's like a long tunnel but there is an end to it...write out your feelings in WP...sometimes just expressing them can be helpful...
I wish all the best for you....remeber you have WP and our support...and I also pounce upon those who bully you and claw them without mercy!

I don't know about mentioning a video game in this kind of thread but I have the exact same interests and I highly, highly recommend downloading and installing Hearts of Iron 2 if you haven't played it(and most other paradox games). It's a ww2 grand strategy game and I guarantee you will become obsessed as it's everything you enjoy just as I have. It will definitely give you something to do other than suicide. In fact, it helped me with my own depression, yet it hasn't solved the problem of being on the computer all day . Just a suggestion.