I am considering suicide

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Smudge I really value your presence on WP. You are widely liked here.

Reading of your physical torment - I had "excema" so badly that at one stage I lost all skin on both hands and they were raw infected messes, so swollen that I couldn't bend any fingers and therefore couldn't do anything at all, not even turn on a tap, or make myself food. The cause of this was missed for decades, though it should have been stunningly obvious, given the other symptoms I had: coeliac disease. So if you haven't had this investigated, then please factor it in as a possibility.

The tests aren't 100% reliable (especially if you have any immunodeficiency). (If you have, then ask for the gene test first). I am sad that this is such an awful time for you and so hope that one day you will be looking back and thinking "if only I had known that then, thank goodness I know better now". Keep going until you find the answer, whatever it is; hang out here for as much support as you need meantime. Be kind to yourself in every little way that is possible to you right now - don't beat yourself up emotionally too, you are suffering enough with the physical stuff. We want to support you through this. I understand the despair you feel, this is a very dark tunnel, and not knowing how long it is adds to the stress. Once you exit the tunnel there will be light again.

I knew indigestion and food sensitivity was common in autistics, but not eczema.

I've had real bad eczema for the last decade. Eat the wrong thing? Flares up. When I shower or otherwise wash my face I have to apply moisturizing cream to the skin as soon as possible or it flares up, or worse: cracks and bleeds.

And no matter how quick I am in applying moisturizer, it's always too late...


Door slammers are also a problem where I live, but the insulation is good enough that it doesn't cause me to jump. I just get annoyed at it.


To the suicidal people: don't do it. About a decade ago, I tried to kill myself several times unsuccessfully.

Today, I am glad I was unsuccessful. Please hang in there! You are on earth for a reason, even if you don't believe it.

That made me chuckle. Thanks so much for all your support everyone. I like you all too. And thanks to those who replied to my other thread too. I kept trying to reply but Cloudfare wouldn't let me. I tried about 10 times, entering the bloody captcha every time.

It's odd but the captchas are very demoralizing and sometimes randomly they make it impossible to communicate here, and then as randomly as it started they go away again. I've been getting them again too, just not as badly as you yet. They'll likely stop within a day or two, and I hope that helps some when they go away.

And you sound like you might feel a bit better?

I don't know. I think about suicide every morning. I used to have lots of confidence. I still have a sense of pride, I guess.

Sorry I had a go at you earlier dcj123. It was just that it looked like you said, "I don't think something so little is worth committing suicide over". I don't think you meant that, though.

I know it doesn't feel like it but these feelings are temporary. They will pass and your confidence will return. As the other poster said hang in there. I hope you gt through this soon.

Btw I have eczema on my hands

Is is possible to get decent medical attention for eczema?

I know that medical care really sucks in some parts of the world, but being a squeaky wheel in the face of the medical system sounds like a better alternative than suicide.

I was a squeaky wheel with the RN practitioner that prescribed my psychiatric medications. She ended up firing me as a patient when I kept on telling her that she was not listening to what I was saying when I told her that she was prescribing me medications that covered my skin with ugly blisters when I took them. Less than a month after that, I found a real psychiatrist that took my insurance. I have to ride the bus to a different county to see him, but the point here is, I was a squeaky wheel, I got the care I needed, now I have some semblance of emotional stability and I don't have nasty side effects.

It is my understanding that eczema is treatable..... It is also my understanding that treatment can be a b***h to obtain for any ailment in some parts of the world, and that f*****g sucks.

Does anyone know if OOM's new forum is glitchy? It would be great to finally post a message on a forum without losing it.

Anyway, my message basically said: Please, no more suggestions for getting rid of noise (like earplugs) or what is causing my eczema. It is like suggesting to a Coeliac that they might try cutting out wheat. Or asking the parent of an autistic child if they've tried decipline. Seriously, these suggestions are obvious. I appreciate you're all trying to help, but please consider that I do actually have a brain on me, that I've been doing TONS of research, and that unless you know about some specific hormone or protein that is causing me to react to more and more different foods, or know of some herb/med that you *know* helped someone, I suggest it's best not to suggest. I know I am stressed at the moment, there is not a lot I can do about it except to calm myself down. But having noise around me is really not helping.

..Thank you.

Alright, I just want to say this: PM me if you want to discuss ways of managing eczema.

I've had it for years and have figured out some strategies to manage it.

If you want my take on that, then I am going to leave it up to you to get in touch, since you have stated you currently don't want to talk about it.

It would be nice if you could explain what you want to get out of this thread if not advice. Encouragement? I have plenty to give.
Whatever you do, don't do it. It took me a decade to get to where I can get out of bed in the morning and be happy about being given another day to live. If you do it, then you'll never know. The change could have been just around the corner if you had just stuck around for a little longer, but you'd never know.

It can seem unbearable at times, but you've made it this far.

Do your ways of managing it involve applying stuff topically? Or actually taking medication/vitamins/herbs?

Thanks.

Here's what I found applies to me through trial and error:

I have to apply moisturizer to my face after showering or washing. My face at each side of the nose under the eyes is where it usually flares up. This is kidney/stress related also, so for me it's a combination of factors.

Here's what works for me to keep it in control as much as possible:

-Limiting stress.
-Paying attention to temperature changes. I used to get hives/cholinergic urticaria from rapid changes in temperature or humidity. Season related.
-Limiting stimulating foods. I flare up from citrus fruits, spicy foods, stimulants like coffee and nicotine. And alcohol.
The solution for me is to eat a very plain, non-stimulating diet(lots of beans, green peas and rice) and to cut out alcohol and nicotine altogether. I haven't been able to quit the coffee though.
-As little refined sugar, preservatives and additives as possible.
-Regular exercise to make sure blood circulation is strong. Doesn't have to be exhausting.
-Get sunlight when I can. In the north, we get very little sunlight, so we grab what we can get.

This is what has worked for me. Hope you can get anything out of it. Let me know if you want me to elaborate more.

Thanks anyway, but it doesn't help. Temperature affects me too. Coffee just dries me out.

I'm more looking for what hormones are potentially out of balance, what vitamins I'm potentially lacking, what herbs could help me etc.

A blood test through your GP will tell you what’s out of balance/lacking.

Also, have you ever had a food intolerance test?

I don't know what my GP is capable of. Their blood tests seem very limited. I was told they could only test for folate, iron, and B12 levels vitaminwise, for instance.

They outright refuse to give me allergy testing, I think there must be a severe shortage or something in the UK. I've asked for tests for years.

Have you tried going to a different clinic? I switched doctors several times because they just wouldn't test for what I asked for.

A couple of years ago, I took a blood test and it turned out I was Vitamin D deficient. Vitamin D plays a role in skin elasticity and health and might be a factor in eczema.

See if you can find a clinic where they'll test for vitamin D. It should be fairly commonplace, especially in Europe where we get less sun during the autumn and winter seasons.

What on Earth is bloody wrong the UK healthcare system? Because I honestly wonder if your depression and your eczema might be linked by something biochemical which is affecting your mood as well as your skin.